October 19, 2012

explode.

For some reason, I consider this week to be a rough week. Funny, considering how much time, effort and concentration I put into one piece of work ONLY, which at the end of the day, for some inexplicable reason, left me feeling so demotivated. Perhaps I’m just tired.

Sitting slouched at my workstation today, I know I should get my spirits up because hey, it is the weekend after all, isn’t it! There are so many things to look forward to but then again, is there really?

There are times when I’m so tempted to flee my responsibilities and drop my sensibilities so that I could feel how it feels like to be a silly rebel. If only I could do so without thinking of the adverse consequences of my actions, I probably would have executed my thoughts a long time ago.

I know it’s all in the mind, but what’s left of my sanity is a sliver. As if to prove a point, I’ve become so confused as to what it is I want; I want need to get out of this 5 am – 5 pm routine a little bit, but I’m feeling antisocial; I want to shop, but there’s nothing pressing on my list; I want to spend time with my baby yet, there are times when I feel that I need my own time and space, which at the end of the day makes me feel like a terrible mother.

Sometimes I can almost hear the song “have a little patience” singing in my head but really, I guess there’s only so much one can take.

At this moment, all negativity is literally shouting in my head.

 
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