first child syndrome
My uncle owns this really cool Gibson old school electric guitar. He has a cool computer with great tracks in it, and he has a Marshall amplifier. He has this whole study dedicated to himself, with all the things I mentioned above in it. And my brother happens to have this indisputable talent in music. Be it with the piano, or with the guitar. Totally and completely indisputable. Or is it undisputable? Forgive my confusion of words, if there is any difference.
I used to learn music. I played the piano once, and went all the way until Grade 5. And then, I left for boarding school, where I had little space to practice, not so great tutors, and not much opportunity to show off my talent. I also happened to be busy serving the school that I had not much time to spare. Thus, I left my classes, stopped practising, and never got the chance to learn how to play by ear, or combine 2 chords together to create a melody of my own. I always, always have to refer to my books. And even with that, I only know a handful of songs, which I am not so proud of, to begin with.
My sister plays the piano too. Her talent’s nowhere close to my brother’s, honestly. But she plays way better than me, that’s for sure. Perhaps her passion for it isn’t as deep as my brother’s. But nonetheless, she draws well, even if she can’t play that well. She draws so well, that she keeps comic books of her own creation. She has so many ideas, that the Form 1 English Drama this year was a great success. (of course she couldn’t have done it without the whole of her batch). But still, I was told by her friends that she did help a lot during practices. And that she was a good director.
I, on the other hand, though I was the assistant director once upon a time ago, did not, and never quite got such remarks from my fellow batchmates. In fact, I think they used to hate me because I had such a tough time managing the whole thing. And I made it tough for them, of course.
I know I shouldn’t feel bitter because after all, they are my siblings and I should want nothing BUT the best for them. I DO want the best for them, and don’t get me wrong, I AM happy that I have such amazing siblings. But tell me now; is it reasonable for me to feel somewhat like a failure amongst them? The fact that the only talent I have in music is singing along to some song on the radio, while drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, and the closest to creative that I am, is scribbling 5-petalled flowers at the side of my lecture notes when I am bored in class.
And the fact that I am still confused whether it should be un- or in-disputable. The fact that the only talent I may have is crapping my heart out.
I used to learn music. I played the piano once, and went all the way until Grade 5. And then, I left for boarding school, where I had little space to practice, not so great tutors, and not much opportunity to show off my talent. I also happened to be busy serving the school that I had not much time to spare. Thus, I left my classes, stopped practising, and never got the chance to learn how to play by ear, or combine 2 chords together to create a melody of my own. I always, always have to refer to my books. And even with that, I only know a handful of songs, which I am not so proud of, to begin with.
My sister plays the piano too. Her talent’s nowhere close to my brother’s, honestly. But she plays way better than me, that’s for sure. Perhaps her passion for it isn’t as deep as my brother’s. But nonetheless, she draws well, even if she can’t play that well. She draws so well, that she keeps comic books of her own creation. She has so many ideas, that the Form 1 English Drama this year was a great success. (of course she couldn’t have done it without the whole of her batch). But still, I was told by her friends that she did help a lot during practices. And that she was a good director.
I, on the other hand, though I was the assistant director once upon a time ago, did not, and never quite got such remarks from my fellow batchmates. In fact, I think they used to hate me because I had such a tough time managing the whole thing. And I made it tough for them, of course.
I know I shouldn’t feel bitter because after all, they are my siblings and I should want nothing BUT the best for them. I DO want the best for them, and don’t get me wrong, I AM happy that I have such amazing siblings. But tell me now; is it reasonable for me to feel somewhat like a failure amongst them? The fact that the only talent I have in music is singing along to some song on the radio, while drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, and the closest to creative that I am, is scribbling 5-petalled flowers at the side of my lecture notes when I am bored in class.
And the fact that I am still confused whether it should be un- or in-disputable. The fact that the only talent I may have is crapping my heart out.
.jpeg)
Comments