April 01, 2016

considering a different kind of binge.

38 weeks this weekend, which means there's about 2 weekends to go before I pop -- if all things go well, which I obviously continuously pray for.

Speaking of praying... 

The other day, I thought about how much I would miss praying when in confinement because well, most of us would have to go through a period in which we wouldn't be allowed to pray, which in my case is normally really long.

I noticed that most pregnant women would binge-eat before they gave birth because they say they would miss all those "forbidden foods" during confinement and OF COURSE I am no exception, but somehow... after that revelation, I kind of thought maybe I should consider binge-praying too.

Sometimes though, I notice how people (sadly other Muslims) make making prayer seem like such a big.unattainable.deal. that people taking baby steps like myself tend to believe that our baby steps are just not enough

Thing is, who are we (humans) to decide whether or not one's prayer is enough

"Our Lord descends during the last third of each night to the lower heaven, and says: 'Is there anyone who calls on Me that I may respond to him? Is there anyone who asks Me that I may give unto him? Is there anyone who requests My Forgiveness that I may forgive him?'" -- Y A S M I N  M O G A H E D; Reclaim Your Heart

I talked this out with a few of my Very Trusted and I was encouraged when they told me to carry on. After all, "amalan yang disukai Allah, adalah yang terus menerus (istiqamah) walaupun sedikit...". Well, at least that's what I've gathered from my reading.

And although I've got to admit that maintaining consistency is difficult, I'm also happy to report that these one-to-one prayer sessions have borne fruits -- and better still, immediately, unexpectedly and precisely -- as in specific answers to questions and requests. If you asked me, that is A M A Z I N G, to say the least. 

Well, anyway. Here I am at (almost) 38 weeks, still standing. It's been a somewhat different third trimester experience for me this time round and although I am hoping that my labour would be just as uneventful as the last, I think I am mentally prepared if things don't turn out the way I want them to because "Allah knows and you know not...". 

I'm on the final leg of this journey so please do wish us the best of luck! 


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