count your blessings to find what you look for.

So, yesterday, Mama called me to ask me about something. It's been such a long, long, long time since I last talked to her. In fact, it's been a long time since I last updated anyone at home about my well-being; not even on Whatsapp. My sister told me that they're all getting a little worried of my silence. 

Anyway, after we were done talking about business, Mama asked me how things generally are. I think she sort of sensed that I was holding "something" back, mothers naturally being the intuitive people that they are. And with that, came the whole heart to heart session along with the water works, which was expected and also accepted with calming, soothing words from the other side of the line.

Mama then told me that in the face of all this adversity, I really should count my blessings and to always remember that Allah is here for us. And that this phase, like every other good and bad phase I've been through in my life, shall pass.

To many, Mama's advice may just be an overused hackneyed expression meant to be said when nothing else could be said, but I knew that Mama wasn't just using that advice because she had nothing better to advise; she really, really meant it and wanted me to think real hard about it. 

Which I did. 

Yesterday, after battling with a severe bout of demotivation and feeling exhausted from being emotionally battered, I returned to my family, who didn't expect me to be back so early, but jumped with utmost joy from the surprise, nonetheless. 

Last night, as we huddled together under the duvet, trying to keep each other warm (it was raining non-stop yesterday), I realised that that was the happiest I've been in close to a month. And that was probably all it would take to make me really happy for all my life. 

I won't lie and say that I'm feeling a 100% better today, but I'm somewhat feeling better. Because next to that door slammed shut right in my face, are a the million other doors which have widely opened for me. And when I think about those open doors, I know that I'm actually alot luckier than I think.