November 30, 2012

these days.



"You've got wits, you've got looks, You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong."
-Dashboard Confessional


Now, what have I been up to these days? Sometimes, I really don’t know. There have been days when hours pass by and the next thing I know, it’s already 7 p.m. and I’m packing my bags to go home.

And then suddenly, it’s the next morning again.

My days these days typically begin at 4.30 a.m. I’ve seen people’s eyeballs go as wide as saucers when I say that, and of course I understand since I used to think of 4.30 a.m. as really early as well. Until I got better at waking up at that same time every single day, of course. Thereafter, it was just natural to remain awake from those wee hours of the morning until the next bed time.

You see, starting the day early makes a whole load of difference on how the day will turn out for me. By beginning early, I can ensure that bottles are washed and sterilised properly, that Luqman’s clothes are washed, that I get to have a proper bath, that I get to pray without being rushed, that I get to put on my scarf properly so that I am presentable enough for office, and that I sometimes get to slip in a little bit of housework as well... and so that I get to watch my son sleep, and be there when he wakes up calling for me.

Though everything I’ve just said above seems like a mouthful (and mind you, it is!), having enough time for everything, while accommodating everyone’s interest (mine included) keeps me sane.  

And for me, at this point in time, staying sane from one day to another is the most paramount consideration.

I’d like to think that my efforts aren’t negligible and I’m hoping that that’s how it seems to others too. Not that I need to prove myself to anyone, of course, but sometimes, even our best efforts are just not enough.

In the end, our struggles are our own. So, let’s just move in our own way. Because I swear that you've got me all wrong.



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