12 days after.
“Count your blessings to find what you look for.”
I am peeved.
Mama said the reason I always feel this way is because I am
naturally competitive. So, in the face of over competitiveness and over
zealousness and over enthusiasm by others, I tend to get agitated. When in
actual fact, I’m actually looking at myself. Difference is I might have a slightly
more pleasant personality, which makes me a lot easier to deal with I guess?
Funny how much of ourselves we really hate, right?
I wonder how people view me. They must really hate me sometimes,
don’t they?
***
Today marks the 12th day since the 21 July 2012. Though met with awkward stares from colleagues who thought I was
a new officer for the first 2 days, the transition from ye old Hanisa to the
new me has been smooth sailing, Alhamdulillah. And the power of aurat is that
even my husband is excited seeing me choosing and wearing different types and
styles of hijab every day. Must be exciting after knowing a hijab-less me for 7
years?
Besides, I noticed that rezeki melimpah-ruah since my
transition. So many good things happened to me. So many people have been oh so
kind to me. And so many blessings in disguise have passed my way.
Mama was right (once again and always is). I have everything
to be thankful for. I have been blessed with so many wonderful things and yet, I
hesitated to do this one thing Allah has commanded me to. “What’s stopping you,
girl?” she asked me one day. And I couldn’t answer. Because she is right. There
really wasn’t anything stopping me anymore. There really shouldn’t be anything
stopping me.
So here I am.
***
Every now and then, when I get as pissed as I am right now, I
remind myself of this transition; of this new found peace which has made me
calmer in a lot of ways. It makes me think of the “tag” I have voluntarily
stuck to myself, which makes me stop in my tracks each time I feel like saying
a bad thing or having a bad thought. I thought I had it covered, but clearly,
even with the devils tucked safely away from me, my nafsu amarah sometimes,
just sometimes gets the best of me.
Time really flies and we’re almost half way through our
Ramadan already.
I really don’t want to spend it angry, so I’ll leave it all
at that.
Here’s to many more happy days, insyaAllah.
Much love, as always!
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Comments
xx,
Amyrah
www.justmeandjart.blogspot.com
I do hope and pray for the best for you. InsyaAllah, bila dah ready sangat-sangat, you tak akan fikir lain except nak pakai je.
Please do come see us! Luqman dah besar dah now so he'll be glad to see his Aunty Myra for sure :)
Take care dear. Seeya around!
You are right... I notice that rezeki melimpah-limpah since I wore hijab... Something that I sincerely did not foresee. ;)
Cheers to the new changes and to more happy days =D
But I'm glad we finally did it anyhow because you're right. The more delay, the more berat hati we will be. And the opportunity just goes away.
Here's to more happy days, insyaAllah :).
Kisses to Ariana for me :)
i'm your blog reader but how come i missed this post!
anyway, congratulations! i'm so happy for u, nearly shed some tears. over takkk? but really, i'm so happy for u, from the courage u've to change to something much better. most importantly, something yang Allah suka, mahu & redha
Alhamdulillah. selamat berpuasa! and peluk cium to the baby!