For some reason, which still is very much unfathomable to me, the moot court gives me a sense peace. It could be because it is such a familiar place, that it gives me comfort in knowing that good things have happened in here and that great memories and everlasting friendships have been forged during the long hours we spent together in here earlier this year.
It’s going to be the 6th week into this programme next week and I’m not even sure I want to describe what it feels like. I don’t think I have much to complain about because everyone is getting the same amount of workload and the workload really is shite. It’s definitely more than anyone can handle, but we’re handling it anyways.
It’s not tough being a person people depend on. It’s not difficult being the person in charge when the rest of the group is cooperative and is the least of my problems. It’s just me. I’m afraid of not being able to do a good job out of all this. I keep on thinking on how to keep their morale boosted so that we won’t ever be too tired to do work together. I keep on thinking if there is any other way I can give them the freedom of thought; of how to think, but I can think of no other way because I just can’t think anymore.
I am known to at least a handful of people as the energizer bunny. I’ll be running up the long flight of stairs in the morning and still be doing the same at 6 o’clock and also at 10 o’clock when my classes have all finally come to an end. I try my best to keep and conserve all the good energy as much as possible.
But then again, even energizer bunnies run out of batteries sometimes, right? Sometimes, I feel like I just need a long, hot shower and a long nap during the weekend so that I can recharge and rejuvenate. Only that way will I be able to make the best of this brain that Allah has gracefully and unselfishly lent to me.
So, after 6 weeks of going through so many classes and files and book, and a whole load of stairs, tell me how else am I a supposed to keep up with my own pace, which I have set, and determined to maintain, and how am I supposed to boost the morale of my ever-helpful firm mates, when I, myself am losing it?
But I read somewhere, “…Allah will not give us something that we cannot handle…”
I plan to hold on to that.