mamahood 101: mama, nak paluk?

My son, just like your children I am sure, is very is to please.

"Mama, nak paluk" seems to be his only request when I get home, before he goes to sleep, when he wakes up and just before we leave home for school. He loves those hugging sessions. It seems to be the remedy to everything. 

I know this because it seems to remedy me, too, but even so...

I never seem to be able to fulfill that simple request, at least not immediately. 

I'm always in the midst of getting something done. I'm always rushing to go somewhere. I'm always too tired or too busy. For a hug. Worst still, I get upset with him for getting upset with me when I refuse him his hug.

What kind of a parent I am, I really don't know.

Although I do try my very best to hug him whenever he wants to be hugged, even let him sit on my lap while I am doing the impossible; ironing work clothes(!!!), it still breaks my heart when I have to tell him... "Sekejap ye, sekejap ye, sekejap ye" multiple times before I can actually sit down with him. What's even more heartbreaking is when he actually understands... and waits outside the toilet door until I am done bathing, and gleefully asks me whether he can have his hug then...

"Mama dah mandi ke? Mama nak Allahuakbar (solat) ke?"

"Yes, Sayang"

"Okay"

And he continues waiting until I am done with everything before seating himself on my lap so that we could recite our doa together. 

There might will come a time, I am sure, when he would be too tired to wait around for me for a simple hug. When that time comes, I guess I'll just have to be prepared to tell myself,

"Serves you right."

 Though I hope with all my heart, that that will never happen and that he would one day understand how much I'm trying to cope with at the moment and how much I wished I could give him all the hugs in the world.