letting off some steam.

Before anyone shoots me down or sends me freaky text messages (hihi), I know, I know that I pledged happiness for 100 days, but be rest assured that this by no means means that I'm not happy today or that I'm already giving up on the challenge. It's just a sign that I am as human as humans get and that this is a low point in my day today and that I just needed to let of some steam. 

"When it rains, it pours", was what my colleague said to me a few weeks back.

That phrase has been stuck to my head eversince because IT'S JUST SO TRUE!

Everyone who knows me well enough knows that I love to work; not only for the money (I don't earn that much to begin with) but also for the constant challenge it poses to my capabilities, be it my mind, my physical strength and also my ability to juggle. Even when no one believed I would survive working where I'm working right now, I challenged myself to work it out to prove them wrong; and to prove myself that I can do what my mind tells me to do. So far, so good as I've come to love my job that everyone else (who ironically have never done before) hates. 

But if there is a downside to this job that I love, it would be the working hours. I begin work just like everyone else in the Public Sector and because of the long hours it entails, I opted for the last WP, which starts at 8.30. Almost always, I am early because like Adik says, in the more developed countries, "being on time is late". So, I try to make it in time, rather than on time. 

This is how my day typically goes;

I reach the office at about 8.20-8.25. 

I switch my laptop on.

While waiting for it to load, I go and get my drink. 

Some mornings I eat breakfast (most days packed from home, so I don't go down to the cafe), and most mornings, I'd be checking my mails while eating, having my drink. 

After sorting my mail, I start work. 

The only time I am away from my workstation is when I go to the loo, or when my boss calls me for a discussion or if I am instructed to attend a meeting. 

When I am away for a discussion or meeting, I can never tell what time it'll end. It depends on the complexity of the matter. 

On some days (which seems like most), the discussion will end after 1.00 p.m. By then, everyone would have gone out for lunch (which I normally don't do anyways, even if I had the time) and that's when I either (1) get a quick bite from the cafe; or (2) eat the lunch I packed from home. 

While having lunch, I'm either browsing the internet for news or well, just eating. 

Right after lunch, I would go to the loo, perform prayers, read some quran and by 2.30 latest, I would be tap tapping on my laptop again. 

Again, the only time I leave my workstation is when I go to the loo, go out for a discussion or I'm out attending a meeting. And again, I can never tell what time the meeting will end because it all depends on the complexity of the matter. On some good days, it'll end at 4.30. On some bad ones, it ends at 8.00 (p.m.). 

On those good days, I would come down from a meeting and immediately get working on the report(s) that we need to submit each time we attend a meeting. I do it immediately not because I am a goody two shoes or because I am skema (well, I am a little bit skema, fine), but more because I don't want to procrastinate and later forget what to report. Plus, I can never tell what tomorrow will bring, so I get everything done, when I can. 

Normally, at 5.00, I will take a break for prayers. And then, I will continue whatever it was I was doing. If the report is done, I'll wait until the next day before I submit as I need to proofread it the next day, with a clearer head and fresher pair of eyes. If I have some pressing work (the types which can wait), I will only leave work at 5.45 to 6.00 p.m. but on my more tired days, I normally don't wait beyond 5.40. And I love these days because I get to take Luqman to the playground and cook dinner and later read books together with him.

Those are my (really) good days. On some days, my phone would ring at 5.25 and I am called for a discussion (for work that just cannot wait). At a workplace where nothing is not urgent (meaning everything is urgent), that's kind of expected. I would then attend that discussion and it'll normally end around Maghrib. 

But those are the better busy days. On the really busy days (for work which can't wait at all), I would sometimes be in a meeting from morning and up 'til midnight and the next day I'll be at work by 8.30 a.m. again. And the next morning, I go through the same thing as abovementioned, hoping that that day would be one of the better busy days rather than really busy ones. 

Lost your breathe yet?

That's not the worst. 

Weekends; if there's work that just can't wait at all, AT ALL, we're all on standby. So far, I have managed to avoid this by giving my all during weekdays, even to the extent of volunteering to stay back as late as it requires or doing work during lunch hour, but yeah, there's always that possibility that I would need to come in; like how I've been given the heads up for this weekend, for instance. 

***

I know that doing work with utmost sincerity will help me reach my goal in the hereafter and honestly, apart from the ridiculously long hours, I don't mind it at all. I know this because I am hardly tired when I get home. Maybe it's because I look forward to meeting my family that keeps me from being fatigued, but I also believe that if I hated my job, I would be tired and complaining about it all the time. But no, I am hardly ever tired. I've come home from work at 11 (p.m.) before and immediately started the laundry, washed the dishes, packed Luqman's bag for school and arranged and cleaned the house before I finally hit the bed. And I still wake up early enough the next morning to prepare my husband's breakfast, iron his clothes, send Luqman to school and to get to work in time.

But be that as it may, I still know that I still have a duty to my family, especially to my kid, who is my amanah, and I always keep that in mind. 

I hope that Allah will continue to grant me this strength so that I will be able to continue my job, both at work and at home, without jeapordising myself in any way.

I also hope that when I do take time off to rest (like how I'm doing right now writing this post), or go out for the occasional lunch, people would not question my integrity and my mismanagement of time, as I've never disclosed this schedule to anyone before (apart from those close to me) and that on the days I do go back early, I would not be questioned for running to my next shift at home. I also hope that people would cut me some slack if I am unable to finish all 8/8 pieces of work assigned to me in the month of February as there is only one me and I can only do so much.

I also hope that those extended hours have been made public be thankful that they have been done so, because to me, extended hours are a thing of norm and nobody knew that working as a Public Servant would entail this much work. 

There. I feel so much better now. 

Happy Wednesday everybody! In any case, my Day 5 of #100happydays has been made already ;)