February 02, 2013

at wit's end.



Phew.

A sigh.

What a way to begin a post after quite a hiatus. But really, that is really how I would sum up my January. It was such a tough month; I honestly thought I was beginning to lose my mind.

I generally think that children take too many liberties with their mothers. Now that I’m a mother myself, this statement rings so much truth.

With everybody else (my husband included), my son behaves so very well, but with me… it’s like he’s intent on pushing my buttons. Of course, him being a baby and all that, he might not even know it, but I guess he knows that I can be pushed to a certain extent. And in all truth, I really don’t mind.

But yesterday, I was at my wit’s end.

To hell with “anger breeds anger”, I just couldn’t stand it.  

Last month, he was attacked by multiple fevers. Yes, multiple. With 6 teeth popping simultaneously out of those tiny pink gums, that came as no surprise. To make things worse, he was vomiting and purging non-stop when all that was happening. That also came as no surprise because no matter how clean we keep our space, there is no real guarantee that he will not touch a dirty spot or pick up and ingest things he’s not supposed to. And since he's not the only one at the babysitter's, there's always a possibility that he picked the fever up from the others.

With multiple fevers came (one too many) sleepless nights, dabbing vomit off the mattress, diaper changing and the likes and so you can imagine how insanely taxing all that can be even on the most strong hearted.

And so I caved.

I was, honestly, so scared of myself.

It was a good thing that my husband was home, so he took over. It was also a good thing that he didn’t judge or get angry at me for being angry. He just took over. And let me have a moment on my own.

So, you understand now how glad I am that all that is in the past now?

February kind of began on the right foot, so I’m hoping that that’s a sign that things will get better.

But still, phew.

I’m just really glad that episode is over (for now).




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