January 08, 2013

mysterious ways.

No matter how gracefully my parents are aging, it’s pretty difficult to ignore the huge mass of greying hair on my father’s head and my mom’s recurring muscle pains from years of rigorous use. Their aging is hardly negligible that I have to keep reminding myself that at some point in my life, I’ve got to know that they would leave. “The only sure thing in life is death,” Mama says.

Which is why, each time my parents travel without me, I get emotional. Of course, the “without me” factor is one of the reasons, but what causes me to be more emotional is the fact that I don’t know if I’ll get to see them again.

Morbid, I know. But totally unavoidable.

The last time they left the country was in November 2010. And they went to Egypt. Before they left, my mom left me their travel insurance via email with the message, “Just in case.” I remember crying and crying and crying during that week out of so much fear. I prayed and prayed and prayed that they returned home safely because the thought of losing them is just unbearable.

The moment they returned, there was unrest in Egypt. They barely escaped it. But they did.

A few weeks back, they told us (siblings) that they were leaving for Umrah, along with my youngest Aunt and her friend (who’s literally like family) who are going for the first time.

When they told me, I wasn’t at peace. Although I know for a fact that mengerjakan Umrah itu perkara baik. When my parents left me at my place last Sunday night, I thought long and hard about them leaving and started crying. Hard. I prayed and prayed and prayed to Allah to protect my parents, whatever it took.

And it took my Aunt’s and her friend’s Visa application.

Their application didn’t make it, even after appeals.

They were supposed to leave tomorrow.

And my parents don’t have the heart to leave without my Aunt and her friend. So, they decided not to go.

Sometimes, we think something is good for us, but Allah knows better.

This time round, Allah has ordained that it’s just not their time. Yet. They are not yet his tetamu and so, they must wait until Allah decides that it’s time.

Isn’t Allah’s way of answering my prayers mysterious?

Whatever the case may be, I couldn’t be more thankful.

I know I have to learn to eventually let them go, but I just don’t want to do it in one big bad blow.

Thank you Allah, for answering my prayers.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

2 comments:

Rabieka Aliya said...

So true kak neesa. I always look at things that way. Tak ada rezeki and sometimes, to jauh kan kita from something bad :)

Haneesa said...

yeap yeap. and you know how important babah mama busu and even kak shikin are to me right. i m so glad that this happened. i m sure the time would come when they are meant to go. and hopefully then, they would be spared tragedy and heartache. i m just really relieved :)