December 04, 2017

hello, my new old friend.


I've resigned to the fact that we can no longer avoid growing older. I've embraced that fact so well now, that growing older doesn't scare or bother me anymore -- in fact, admitting my real age kind of makes me proud.

I know people say that growing old is inevitable and growing up is a choice... and yes, to a certain extent, I do believe that you will only feel as old as you allow yourself to feel. However, I do also think that you cannot not grow up -- as in mature kind of grow up. And no matter how you avoid growing up, maturity will (should) come to you to change you and I think we've all got to believe that that is inevitable too.

Maturity changes a person -- and with that, a person's priorities changes as well.

I think the biggest challenge for those who refuse to grow up is realising that the things which were once so important to everyone of the same age group now no longer seem as important anymore. And the thing is... after we reach a certain age (like, 30, for example), there is no hard and fast rule about what should or should not be important as our circumstances are no longer the same.

We are no longer expected to be struggling to complete our undergraduate studies.
We are no longer expected to be married and have children because that is a highly personal choice.
We are no longer expected to have a 8-5 job because we're old enough to make those kinds of decisions.

And so... to say that another person's priority should be of more or lesser priority than ours is kind of wrong especially when there can no longer be an apple to apple comparison between us. We're no longer one and the same like we used to be.

Having said that though...

I admit that we have to, to a certain extent have a list of priorities... some of them being children, family and old friends... And even so... there are times when we just can't get our priorities right, right? 

...

Recently, an old friend of mine called another old friend of mine her "new old friend" and it got me thinking really hard about life and how far along we've come and how many people might be calling me as their "new old friend".

Every time someone tells me that I've changed, I tell them that life happened and there was no way for me to stop the change from coming. And inevitably, I would end up being that "new old someone" to that person because I am no longer the person they used to know.

Thing is... though there might be people regarding me as their "new old someone"... I'm frankly not as bothered as I thought I would be because there's just so much going on in my life right now... that I need to keep some other things (which may seem a little less important at this stage in my life) at bay. I feel this way because I too always try to make leeway and concessions for those I know who are going through alot of their own struggles in life... But still... this will always be misunderstood as not putting in enough effort into the relationship, wouldn't it?

Would it be a tall order for me to wish that at some point in life, things (like friendship) will just pick themselves up and we can all start afresh again at a better time when I'm not so busy refereeing the kids?

Or would I be dying alone without friends because I have become that "new old someone" in their lives?

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