June 25, 2015

there are way bigger priorities past 530 pm.

Everyday at 530 pm, I wonder how to explain (to insert black space _________) that I've been up for a good 13-14 hours and that I've been working round the clock since hence the pressing need for me to head back home. Wait, scratch that; explaining is not the problem, making people understand is.

At a work place where the hours or rather after hours are the determinant of one's productivity, I find myself treading on eggshells as 530 pm approaches and planning escape routes has become one of my biggest agendas on a working day. Though pretty amusing at first, I really am starting to get a little agitated over the fact that I'm made to feel guilty or worse -- incompetent just because I don't function too well past the prescribed working hours. 

Thing is this -- apart from having to keep my job, I have a kid to raise, a husband who needs and deserves love and also a home to maintain. I know I've got to juggle but what is there to juggle if I'm not actually given the opportunity to juggle anything since my hands are already full of one and the same thing (work).


Don't get me wrong, I really do not condone people using personal reasons/problems to wriggle their way out of their responsibilities at work because once we make the decision to work, we must learn to earn our keep. So my issue isn't at all about the work itself but rather the ridiculous fact that I have to justify (and feel guilty) going back home on time because it's considered as too early.

But how much longer does Luqman have to bear being the last to go home from school EVERYDAY.

How much longer can I bear sitting round being unproductive just to please the powers that be. 

What can I do to make people understand that the after hours don't mean a thing to me and that I'm not in this to compete with anybody's accumulated monthly overtime. 

Because honestly, there are wayy bigger priorities past 530 pm, such as this - 

Spot the star - he drew it on his own. And oh, did you know -- he's ambidextrous!

On that note, I really miss my old work station, which had plenty of natural light, far away from surveillance, where I did more work at my own pace and convenience (and got them done) with very minimal supervision. 

*Sigh*

3 comments:

shueyshoelove said...

babe, since 2011 i've been questioning myself if it is worth it. sometimes we condone to the fact, because of our work commitments that we are not granted with kids (yet). Most of the times I stay back because I choose to and no one is really holding a gun to my head. My point is this, please don't feel guilty. Please don't be bothered with the 'powers that be'. If you are really done with work by 5.30 pm, then u should head home. It's just so sad that I love what I do. But with crazy deadlines and immense immense pressure to just be at par or if not above and beyond, I had to scarifice A LOT. My choice. Repercussion i bear. I question myself. Until when. I will decide when the time to decide. My advice babe, life is all about choices. Make a good one babe. Take care!!

shueyshoelove said...

babe, since 2011 i've been questioning myself if it is worth it. sometimes we condone to the fact, because of our work commitments that we are not granted with kids (yet). Most of the times I stay back because I choose to and no one is really holding a gun to my head. My point is this, please don't feel guilty. Please don't be bothered with the 'powers that be'. If you are really done with work by 5.30 pm, then u should head home. It's just so sad that I love what I do. But with crazy deadlines and immense immense pressure to just be at par or if not above and beyond, I had to scarifice A LOT. My choice. Repercussion i bear. I question myself. Until when. I will decide when the time to decide. My advice babe, life is all about choices. Make a good one babe. Take care!!

Haneesa said...

Shuey, thanks for your words of wisdom. Thing is this- I love what I do too! Haha. And I get things done real fast at the office and make sure I catch the "powers that be" before 530 so that I can go back home on time. But I found that the system often "punishes" the good ones by piling on too much on their plates just because the able ones will find the time and muster the energy to get those things done, no matter what. But there are times when I find that it's just too much to bear because I'm using the same 8-10 hours at work to get more done, that I don't have that much more energy to spare and spend at home, hence the dilemma.

I always feel like I might never get the chance to get to work on the complicated projects if I'm itching to go home early all the time, but at the same time, I don't see why I shouldn't be itching to go home on time, especially when I've given my all to the task at hand during the prescribed hours, because like I said in my post, there are wayy greater priorities past 530 pm.

And like all of us, I pray to God that I'm making the right choices and that someday, somehow, someone will recognise my worth, for who I am, be it at work, or at home.

Take care too, sistah!