September 30, 2009

kisah kentut

Do you have an ionizer at home? I do.

That’s because I’m Little Miss Sneezy and my mom can’t take it when I sneeze more than the average person does hence the ionizer to make my air a little bit healthier.

The ionizer basically tells us the quality of air in our environment. Since the ventilation in my room is now better, it’s almost all the time green. Just like the picture here.



But have you ever wondered what fart contains? From its smell, my guess is that it’s sulfuric. Okay, maybe I’ve even learnt this during some biology class, but even then, the smell has already given away its content even before I guessed that.

Have you ever farted in public before? Well, if you consider family as public, my answer would be... 'Yes'.

But my guess is that many of us are not exactly fond of relieving our air so openly.

Anyway, back to the quality of air in my room. The air quality my room is almost all the time green… until of course… I decide to release some air.

Do you have any idea what the Air Pollution Index is when fart is present? I don’t. All I know is that… once fart is present, the air quality turns to red! It’s that dirty. Urgh.



And it would take some time to clear... until it becomes this colour...

to this colour again.


I would obviously like to educate everyone more on farting, but... Wikipedia is taking its own sweet farting time and so is Google. Let's look it up and learn a lesson. Don't fart in public. IT COULD BE DANGEROUS ;P

Oh, I found a link *here* . It's actually flatulus. And not completely sulfuric.

randomly speaking...

These past few days have been exhausting. I’m not sure whether it is caused by the fact that I have began fasting again (yes, I am trying very hard to perform puasa 6) or maybe, it’s time for me to take a few days off from work.

I’m seriously burnt out.

Good thing I received an interesting albeit challenging assignment yesterday. I’m still working on it. If not for the assignment, I would probably be asleep, or be doing crossword puzzles or... better still, finishing that book of mine which is calling me every 5 seconds! Which isn’t really a bad thing, just unethical?

Anyway, being a maidless society isn’t so bad after all though it can be very exhausting if your mom’s a working mom and you’re working as well and you’re in charge of putting food on the table.

Yesterday’s meal was perhaps one of the best ones despite the fact that onions for fried rice were flying across the floor (we were hungry and clumsy) and despite the fact that Mama’s tomyum wasn’t masam enough until we had to eat it with Hot Peri-peri sauce. It was sedap yo! Seriously a match made in heaven.

Today is eating out night. Where else if not Jasema.

Abang, baca blog Akak lagi tak? Nanti hantar gambar pakai Baju Melayu please?

Why is December so far away from today? Do you know that I look forward to December everyday?

Anyway, 12th October is so close.

Random? Uh huh.

September 29, 2009

Funny how...

... my brain only works at the office where posting a blog entry is concerned . Sometimes, I have so much to write when at home, yet the words don’t flow as easily as it does here, right here at the office.

Well, anyways, since I checked on my work and realised that I have completed my task up to the 3rd meeting’s assignment, I think I deserve to take a break. I’ve done work ahead of time and I seriously cannot stand looking at the same assignment and reading and rereading again and again and again. I need to do some writing.

I like our library alot, but at the moment, it seems like I have to avoid it at all costs just in case I bump into Mdm. Level 2, whose second home is right there. I have to avoid being in her sight because she will certainly find ways and means to get me involved in something I am not supposed to be involved with.

So, since I’m done with my assignment (for now), I decided to pick up a book which is currently sort of the talk of the town owing to the fact that news of the upcoming movie has started to leak. Or is it out already and I am belated (as usual)?


Initially, I was reading The Other Queen by Philippa Gregory but I have yet found its appeal. It’s just a story about the olden days when monarchs were powerful and the church had a say in everything and vice and corruption were rampant and being practiced openly. If you’ve watched Elizabeth, you’d be able to relate to it quite easily.


But one day last week, I was passing by my sister’s room to the toilet and found The Time Traveller’s Wife on her bookshelf, which we bought on our Borders outing a few weeks back. I started reading yesterday evening, and I am hooked on it!

I’m not quite half way through yet (hey, this girl needs her sleep), but it’s quite interesting to know that such people with such diseases existed in this world. It’s a bit like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, only more unpredictable because the sequence of events is not in chronological order.

So, I am on it now and I hope to finish by end of this week by the rate I am going at. But I’m also taking time to soak in all the details. I wonder what will happen at the end of it all... Would Henry and Clare lead a normal life, finally?

Come, read with me too?

September 28, 2009

young man!

Today’s my old man’s big day!

He doesn’t mind being called old because he says so himself. Hehe. Yesterday, we gave him 4 lunch options and he chose none of the ones we suggested because he wanted fish and chips instead. Haha. I’m so glad I introduced Delicious to him, now he likes going there all the time!

Since Mama is on “the biggest loser” contest with her siblings, she didn’t order anything apart from the mango cheesecake which was SO RICH I swear I could puke if I took more than I took. Or maybe, I’m just not a fan of anything baked with fruit? Yeap, I think so.




Adik had the Seriously Delicious Burger and I had Sirloin Steak Sandwich. I thought that the sandwich was just so-so. The burger wins hands down!





Anyways, we all had a great afternoon yesterday. Of course, it would have been better if Abang were around. They were remarking on how we should really take you there when you get back... 2 years from now? Errr?




Okay, let’s pray that end of this year is ON! Then you can bring us to your hangout spots okay :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY ‘BOY’! ;p


( Babah says thank you for the card from all of us (yang saya kasi hehe) )

mini impromptu get together.




So much for being a maidless society, I think that last weekend’s mini impromptu get together was a mini success! (at least I'd certainly like to think so). It was so nice to see good friends turning up for good food and good company. Though I was tired down to my bones and got high on punch until I found it difficult to sleep that night, I knew that when I finally hit the sack, I slept smiling remembering the day.

Truthfully, I am not used to doing anything with my MMU friends without Abdul around. They are after all, to put it loosely, friends of a friend. But it turned out to be great nonetheless. These people are some of the friendliest, most easiest to get along with people that I’ve ever known.

In fact, last Saturday, I had 3 different groups of people over at my place. After the MMU guys arrived, my TKC girls came over and then, Mamita and Jaja stayed until close to midnight! Fancy that, huh! Yeap, we had our own gossip sessions just about everywhere. In my room, at the table, in the kitchen... Haha. It was good that the both of them could join. Pity though that Adlin had to call in sick and Batss couldn’t make it and the rest... what happened?

I really didn’t follow up with anyone via phone after the FB message because it was just a mini impromptu get together and well... I was hoping that word would pass and anyone around in the area would drop by if the felt like it.

And though most of the dishes were prepared by my mom, I managed to show off the cookies I made during Ramadan. I was told they are good! (For real I hope. Hee). Finally, now I can think of baking my brownies since every single chocolate cake in the house has been finished. Hmmm. Yums.

Well, anyways it was a good Saturday :)

p.s: we had kuah kacang courtesy of mama after all ;)

September 25, 2009

no kuah kacang.



I find that I have to constantly quell my urge to change my blog layout again. I do not know how many times I have done it in this year alone. But I think the one with the scribbled flowers in pencil suited me best as I was content with it for the longest time. Plus, that was perhaps the most creative phase in my blog life yet.

I love this new layout now, but I am constantly tweaking it, which means that I am still dissatisfied. I want it to have 3 columns instead of 2 and I want the sidebar on the left. I still haven’t succeeded in making it all that.

I think I must be the weirdest person around, who cares so too much, about what her blog looks like. More than anything, really. Anyways, what do you think?

Well anyway, happy Friday everyone!

Finally, the holiday mood is beginning to become alot more subdued and we (read:me) are coming to terms with the fact that the traffic and silent bliss are going to end soon, come Monday. It was really nice while it lasted.

So far, I have not received any open house invitations and I have not planned my own ones yet, either.

Reason being is simple; we are now a maidless society.

I’ll admit that I have never not had a helper before. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t know anything about house chores at all. Having a helper has just made life alot easier and alot less stressful for my parents and us all, generally.

Now that she’s back in Indonesia, (hopefully not for good), we have to consider many things before we actually decide to call people over for makan-makan. We all love to cook, no doubt about that, but the cleaning part is the one that we cringe thinking about. There are pots and pans to clean, plates to wash, rubbish to throw out, leftovers to handle and so many other things to consider. On top of preparing the dishes, we have to entertain the guests simultaneously when they come around.

Is it okay if I call people over and cook simple things like bihun sup, bihun goreng, sambal ikan bilis, pulut kuning and simple rendang? Or maybe some paratha and kuah kari would be nice as well, ey? Just to take a break from the ‘normal’ Hari Raya menus served.

I am thinking of having my own open house for friends, at my parents’ place of course, but I am still at the planning stage. I will let you know for sure, if there is any.

Meanwhile, I hope that anyone passing by my area would just give me a call when passing by, even if I only have like 4 types of homemade cookies and not much else to offer. It would be nice to have people raya-raya at my place. Plus, if anyone is going house hopping for Raya, please, I would like to tag along. Hee tak malu nak ikut.

Okay, I have to buckle down and get some work done before Monday comes. I’d like to start next week on the right foot. *Sigh*

lest you forget.

Today, let’s talk about piety; of being pious and of piousness.

I always believe that when someone tells us off, or gives us a word of advice, the last thing we should consider is the person giving such advice. It’s always the advice that we should look at, instead of the person. Of course, this is easier said than done, but once done, it’d be alot easier to accept when given. I have yet reached that stage, but I am trying.

Although it is important for the advised person to have an open heart and mind when given advice, it is also important for the person advising to understand the background and sensitivities of the person being advised. Put it simply, the advisor must also have some tact.

Alot of people nowadays assume alot of things about people they don’t know.

The simplest would be: orang tak pakai tudung itu semuanya jahat.

I am positive that somewhere in the course of my blogging life, I have written about this before. But that doesn’t stop me from writing more about it. Because sometimes, it’s good to remind each other of how looks can truly be deceiving, lest we forget.

I know that wearing a hijab is wajib. My conscience tells me so. My brother tells me so. My parents tell me so. My boyfriend tells me so. Yet, I have not yet worn it. Not because I don’t want to, no, but because I know that I am not ready. Everyday, I pray that the time will come when I will be and if you keep praying for me too, insyaAllah, the good will come.

Most of my family wears the hijab. When wearing chiffon baju kurungs, they make it a point to wear a proper inner. But they have not forced their daughters to do the same (to wear the hijab), not because they don’t want their daughters to wear it, but simply because they know there is no point in forcing the other to do something when the other is not ready to do it herself. This, I am very positive about. Plus, although I don’t wear a hijab, my family presses on the point that I dress appropriately, even when at home. You would know if you have met my father before.

Believe it or not, we don’t even wear shorts in front of my brother and dad.

Sometimes, people forget that the most important things like piety and piousness does not come from without. It comes from within. I have met numerous types of people and they wear the hijab. But, if you could just hear what comes out of their mouths, you’d cringe! They make ladies blush because of their harsh language.

I don’t see the point of wearing the hijab if you cannot control what comes out of your mouth. I don’t see the point of covering your head when you boobs are so obviously flooding out of your top. I don’t see the point of wearing a hijab if your butt crack is so visible and you seem so proud of it. Even worse, I don’t see the point of wearing the hijab if you so obviously don’t respect your elders and everyone else around you hates your guts. And mostly, I don’t see the point of wearing a hijab if you don’t perform prayers at all.

No doubt, I have no knowledge if my prayers have been accepted. I pray long and hard that they are. I remember Allah in every circumstance possible and pray that He does not abandon me. And that’s why I now feel so much calmer. Because I know that keredhaan Allah itu bukan hanya terletak pada luaran kita sahaja. Plus, my dad once told me that Allah will spend time on those who spend time on Him. And I believe my dad because it is a tested and proven fact.
What is important is that we learn to control ourselves, perform our prayers and make sure that we don’t do khianat and aniaya towards other people. At least our wrongdoings with Allah can be erased by taubat. Our sins with people can only be erased if they forgive us.

I think that people forget what comes from within is more important that what we portray.

I admit that some people bring unfavourable comments onto themselves and sometimes, they deserve it. Because they not only bring such bad reputation towards themselves, they don’t observe and maintain a good relationship with their Creator as well.

But the point is, people like to generalise and it is unhealthy.

Let’s keep on praying that people will not look at me with an evil eye just because I have failed to put a hijab on. Let’s hope that I someday will put it on for my own good. Let’s hope that those whom have followed the dark side come back to the real and right path.

Let’s hope that people don’t forget how deceiving looks can be. Because they are.

September 24, 2009

Raya in so many words...


Surprise, surprise I’m back in the office already!

I have absolutely no mood to do any work. Maybe it’s just one of those things I need to take a break from just because I don’t look forward to it anymore when I wake up in the mornings.

Or maybe, I am just still high on Raya spirit.

Either way, Raya was superb in every way possible.

Though I can’t put together in so many words how fulfilling this year’s Raya was, I’d have to say that I finally understand why it’s deemed a day to celebrate a victory of some sort. This year’s Raya was a victorious celebration indeed. But I cannot tell you why. Because even I don’t know why. It just is, that's why.

We’ve never really been the teary type of family and that doesn’t apply to my little family alone. Perhaps because we have such a strong bond and very seldom have major fights with each other, Raya has always been joyous.





This year was no exception. Though majorly for me, it wasn’t only about the kuih, lemang, rendang, kuah kacang and the whole package anymore (but still important nonetheless). This year’s Raya, we laughed, made fun of each other, helped each other out, hugged, snuggled and told ghost stories (which I escaped from), took rides in crazy traffic jams, queued ridiculously long queues to get food, snacked in bed and felt closer to each other than ever before.

Though this is the 2nd year without my brother with us, we have learnt to live with it. InsyaAllah, we will get to take a family portrait end of this year.



Selamat Hari Raya to the lot of you out there!

I am sorry if I have said or written anything to hurt your feelings. I am sorry if I have used language which was inappropriate. Have a great time this Raya.

Let’s reflect and see if we’ve done enough to become better.

I am looking forward to the next Ramadan (already).

September 22, 2009

butterflies.

it's approximately 5 minutes before today ends and a new tomorrow begins.

today was a wonderful day.

how did we get this far again?

how come i still get butterflies?

no, it's not a bad thing.

we were square peg and round hole from the very beginning, but today... today was just phenomenal.

let's have repeats of today.

September 18, 2009

what's for dinner?

I’m at the office.

For one, it’s already a silly thing to be at the office on Friday. Remember how unproductive it can get? Iyeap. Two; it’s 2 days prior to Raya and so far, we have not heard anything from upstairs, indicating that we’re allowed to go back early. This is so sad!

Anyways, yesterday I was on leave and boy, did I make full use of it! Early morning, I went to Seremban to pick Princess of Genovia up. Then, we got back and I settled my banking. Then, we went to the bakeshop to get baking tins. Brownies, here we come!

Then, I went to the Masjid to settle my matters and then, went back home to cook!

Yes, I miss cooking! But... have not been doing so for quite some time now.

So, yesterday, I made pesto pasta, chicken chop, mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy! Yummers!

I thought of snapping photos of the food I cooked but didn’t get to opportunity since they didn’t waste time digging into the yummy grub.

Hey, bukan masuk bakul angkat sendiri okay. Though my mom will normally tell me whatever I cook tastes nice although it doesn’t really, yesterday, it was really sedap! My dad who doesn’t normally eat much for buka couldn’t help it so he helped himself to everything as well!

So, what’s for dinner tonight? Hmm. Let’s see if I can get off early first.
All I know is that there’s a probability that we’ll be baking tonight :)

Does anyone read blogs anymore? It’s Raya and I’m stuck at the office! Arrrrgh!

I am missing biskut raya at home. Tsk.

our stash this year

infamous biskut cornflakes

choco chip cookies

baked cornflakes cookies

September 16, 2009

i think i should've.

It has begun. The Raya mood has started to kick in, don’t you think so? Come to think of it, I’m beginning to see how silly it was of me to not take these 3 days off from the very beginning. This is especially so, now that bosses are just looking for punching bags and “victims” to pass urgent work to, since I think they too, are just not in the mood to work anymore.

Speaking of which, couldn’t they pick a better time to give work? Must it be at 4.45 p.m. when people who came in at 7.30 a.m. have already gone home? They’ve got their own 2 cents worth to say about me going back early, I’m sure. But at this point, I’m so angry at them, I don’t want to care much anymore. After all, 4.45 p.m is after 4.30 p.m.

Anyway, today I am on EL. I don’t normally take leave very easily, as much as I need the break, but today, I have to go to the airport, and there has been a change of plans. Lucky me, I already applied for leave tomorrow! So, I get 2 days off instead of 1. That’s why I think it was silly of me not to apply Friday off as well. I’m just hoping they don’t do something crazy on Friday to make us all stay late at work.
It’s Raya for goodness sakes!

Now, let’s hope that today is productive. And let’s hope that they don’t make such a big fuss at the office.

September 14, 2009

Giving a chance ?

We’re always talking about giving Malays a chance. Always. Always. Always. Malays need a chance to do this. Malays need a chance to do that. And more often than not, we give that chance because, simply, we give chances to those who need them.

But more often than we can tolerate, we are disappointed because those chances were not put to good use. Why do Malays lack in that gusto we need from them when executing a job given? Why? Why do Malays say they can when they so obviously can’t? Why do Malays fail to keep time? Why are they so lackadaisical that they seem to think that so long as another Malay asks for their help, it is okay for them to do anything they want and that there is no way in hell that the other Malay can or should get riled over their lack of ethics. Why?

This is so frustrating. We always try our best to help our own people but our own people fail to justify why they deserve such chance. It’s a sad, sad situation. And it’s getting more and more absurd.

No wonder we are not getting any better. Indeed, it is true that the greatest disability in life is a bad attitude.

halilintar gemuk.

Hello, good morning! Did you drive like a halilintar to work this morning? I did! Thanks to sleeping late all weekend long. I’ve been busy baking, yes I have been! Isn’t it exciting, the fact that Raya is so close? It’s one week from now to be exact! Hee hee.

Anyways, I had a brilliant weekend. Though at the moment, I can’t share much due to some extreme ‘brilliance’ I was struck with. I left the photos I took in my laptop and left Theodore at home. So, no photos of my yummy biscuits to make you all hungry and drooling.

(it doesn’t bother me much because I’m not fasting. Teeheehee)

Yes, I knew it was coming, though I was hoping it to be really late. But that’s alright. I think I am really lacking in plain water so this is a good time to compensate for all those times I didn’t watch my water intake.

Anyways, who is in the mood to work?

Really, raise your hands, if any! Because I’m not really in the mood. Wait. I’m not in the mood at all. But surprise, surprise! I’ll only be on leave for one day after Raya. I don’t know why I didn’t take longer. Maybe it’s the thrill of knowing that not many people will be around in the office then? I don’t know. Hee.

I’m not really in the mood to blog much, too. It was nice to be on a 5-day blogbreak. But I’ve got so many issues swimming in my head, I need somewhere to vent. But I’m not going to do that now, I guess.

Actually, I don’t know what the point in writing this is. I just don’t feel like going to work, but here I am at work, trying to do work. If it wasn’t for the meeting tomorrow… well, never mind. Off to work I go.

But I’ll be back! (I think)

September 09, 2009

An offer I could not resist


I’ve given up telling the girls to come over to my side. Hee. I know now that they feel like The Curve and OU is as far as KLCC seems to me. After (not) much consideration (I didn’t need to consider anything, these are my sisters hey, hey) and since the majority of the girls are either working or staying there, I decided to hitch a ride with Ms. Aleng Double E after work for a berbuka and catching up session with them.


Boy, am I glad I went or what?!



They have been “spamming” my email for days on end now, trying hard to decide where oh where to eat. Good thing Aleng and I are on this side (Putrajaya), so we don’t get (and were not expected) to decide. All we know is that we want to eat. So, lucky us, yeay!

Finally, they decided on the buffet at The Apartment. Thanks to the birthday girl, 15 seats were booked and thanks to the organisers, 11 people came! I’m so proud of us! Heee!



The Apartment does not boast an array of 300 dishes like JW Marriot and some other hotels. But, I’d have to say that the buffet is the most value for money one I’ve been to so far. Simply because they served simple food like pilaf rice, daging dendeng, roast leg of lamb , seafood pasta, potato gratin, baked cod with cheese sauce and even bubur jagung, some of which are local favourites, which they knew people loved. Slurp, slurp! Are you salivating now?

(Haha, I only managed to snap my first round. After that, I was busy concentrating eating)

We had rounds and rounds of food, even after we called for the bill. Hahaaha. And of course, we had fun catching up with each other; where we were and what we were doing and who’s getting married and when, and when is my turn, again? The lot of them “amined” K.Chik’s doa last night that mine would be next year.

“there isn’t a single veil between us and Allah during iftaar and the prayers of fasting people are answered"

So what say you? Ameen. Jika ada rezeki

I had to leave early last night and I felt a bit sad because I’m sure they adjourned elsewhere after that or took 20, 000 other photos (without me!). So jealous!







But then, duty calls, so I had to head back home since I am working today.

Darlings, I had so, so much fun okeh! You girls really are my huge dose of happiness and I hope we can do this often. Even if often means only once a month

I ♥ you girls alot.

September 08, 2009

period zit.

For the past 2 months, my cycle has been a tad bit unstable. It comes, but it is either late or early. I can’t tell what will happen this month or next month because now, I just don’t know. Bottom line is that it never takes more than 40 days.

I know there are several things which can affect our cycle; 3 of which are lack of plain water, good exercise and incessant amount of unnecessary stress.

The causes are there and the symptoms are clear; my “period zit” has made its special appearance on my normally flawless (bluwekk perasan) face and it has popped more than twice but that’s what it normally does, so it doesn’t bug me. I honestly don’t mind if I’m late this month. Really.

After all, I am lacking in my usual dosage of plain water and yes, I am under alot of stress; both from lack of work and too much of it at the same time. And of course, you ladies know very well why I wouldn’t mind it being late this month right, right? Qada’ is a very trying thing, men. Really, you should try it with all kinds of godaan being pushed under your nose. Tsk tsk.

Anyways, I know that I am actually hoping in vain. Other than the zit, since 13 Ramadhan, I have been craving for so many things!

1. Teh panas
2. Mee goreng mamak ayam and teh tarik jasema
3. Dominos pizza
4. California pizza kitchen
5. Cheezy wedges
6. Stuffed Olives

(okay, I won’t list them down, it would be too much to bear)

The one thing which has managed to top the list ALL the time is none other than CARAMEL MACHIATTO!

Telltale signs that my period will be here soon. Of course, this can help as well.





I am already at my 32nd day and I am due. Let’s hope this prolongs until Raya?

Haha, you wish. ;p

I cannot wait for tonight la hoh! Cannot !

slumber.

I’m amazed at how easily I fall into slumber nowadays, now that it is fasting month. As if lunch hour breaks are not enough, I take a nap the moment I reach home as well as soon as my head touches the pillow (or something soft like the cushion in front of the TV). Point is, I can no longer choose when and where I want to sleep. I just do, the moment I put my head down.

Yesterday was a crazy day. The first half of it was crazily idle and later that day was crazily busy. Suddenly, later in that day, I got some urgent assignment at 3.45 p.m., only 45 minutes away from the time I was supposed to go back. Of course, I had to stay back a bit. Tsk.

Yesterday, we were told that we were to receive work from 2 Units, instead of being pooled into one huge Unit. I guess they came to their senses and can see now that the pooling system clearly, does not work.

Despite getting so much sleep in the last 24 hours, I am extremely sleepy right now.

I should kick this habit fast. Or does this happen to everyone who fasts?

Anyways, exciting night awaits me tonight! I hope everything goes well so that everything goes as planned.

Happy Birthday Aera dear :)

Til’ I wake up. Taa!


September 06, 2009

more today.

I don't know why I want you more today, more than I normally want you. Does that make sense at all. This is getting to my head that I even declined to go to OU with the rest of the clan. That part does not make much sense, but I want you more today, more than I normally want you.

I know it is not my position to tell everyone what is going on right now. I don't know if you want them to know.

But I want everyone to pray for him, please. Please?

Rabbi yassir wala tu assir Ya Kareem.
Ya Latiff, Ya Latiff, Ya Latiff.

Semoga Allah redha dengan jalan yang kamu pilih. Ameen.

I want you more today than I normally do.
This is disturbing.

Tsk.

September 05, 2009

syiokness!

I am at my Mak Ngah's house. This is the second week that we are holding Iftaar sessions together. Last year wasn't this often. But since Atuk is here, we decided to hold it more frequestly since he loves these kinds of get togethers. Even if he doesn't do or say much. Hee.

Yaa is playing doctor at the moment. Okay, maybe not really playing since she is studying to become a doctor. It's really funny. I didn't volunteer myself because then she would be able to see things I don't necessarily want anyone to see. Especially not by a doctor related to me. Huhu. But Nins is having one hell of a time becoming her subject. We are checking pulses and heartbeats and reflexes. The Doctor said that I have slow reflex. Hahaha. Okay, I believe you Yaa. Heee.

Adik is home for the whole weekend! I cannot express how happy I am. So we went out to The Curve and OU today just to pass time by and to run errands of course. Everything is on sale. I bought a shoe which I have been eyeing for so long. I saw it at Alamanda and also The Curve and have been hoping that it would be put on sale but to no avail. So I just grabbed it because I cannot tahan already. Heee.

Okay lah. Wanta hear the Doctor give us health classes. Macam best :)

My Theodore went dead on me, so pictures would have to wait until I get back home.

I'm having super fun!

September 04, 2009

tahu tak?

Fridays. Need I say more about Fridays? In my previous posts, I am always talking about Fridays being the most unproductive day and all. Thing is, it IS very unproductive to be at work on a day just a few hours away from the weekend. Tsk.

Anyways, sekarang saya dah pandai untuk control emo dengan jiran sebelah di office. Dia memang suka cakap kuat. So, selama 2 hari dia takda this week, saya tenang. But then, of course dia pon kena datang kerja right, so he is back.

Jadi, pagi-pagi sampai saja, saya sumbat telinga dengan headphones (kepunyaan Muhammad sebenarnya (Abg, akak pinjam tau yang Sony tu. Nanti saya belikan awak baru ke) ). Saya ni kadang-kadang mengalahkan orang tak bekerja. Pau adik-adik punya barang-barang. Baju adik yang turtleneck tu paling selalu. Best tahu tak.

Tahun ni saya perasan saya kurang keluar masa bulan puasa. Tahun ni banyak sangat improvement tahu tak. Tahun lepas saya mengalami culture shock yang amat syiok sampai setiap malam talifun Mamita mengadu.

Kadang-kadang Geng D’sara saya tengah makan pon rasa nak kidnap saya so that saya tak sedih sangat. I owe alot to them because they are always there for me. Nanti kita keluar okay. Hmm. Susah duduk rumah dengan parents bila dah biasa duduk sendiri dekat Shah Alam for almost 4 years.

Tapi takpe, tahun ni dah okay. Siap homesick (boleh tak?) lagi kalau tak dapat buka kat rumah. Haha. Contohnya masa buka puasa dekat office on Wednesday haritu. Lepas buka terus cabut. Hee hee. Hey, takpa la, boss kata yang penting kalau dah RSVP mesti datang makan supaya tak berlaku pembaziran. So that is what I did.

Theodore dah lama tak exercise tahu tak. Oh, just in case kamu orang nak tahu, saya telah beli 35mm 1.8f lense tersebut. Oh, sungguh best ambil gambar portrait sekarang ni sebab gambar clear although tak guna flash. Tapi so far, takda gambar untuk berlagak lagi. Terlalu letih untuk exercise. Hmmp. Of course, I am now RM820 lebih miskin, tapi saya dah save berbulan-bulan. Nanti lepas raya saya fikirlah balik macam mana nak recover duit tu.





Tsk.

Harini dah 14 Ramadhan. Tak rasa ke masa berjalan begitu cepat sekarang? Pejam celik mata dah esok lusa tulat. Saya dah kena start tukar duit. Tahun lepas tak kasi duit raya macam ada maaf lagi. Tahun ni? Haha. Mesti kena sound kawkaw if tak hulur-hulur.

Tapi yang dapat banyak Mama Babah Adik Abang je pon. Adik-adik lain, awak tunggu kakak-kakak dan abang-abang awak kerja minta from dia orang okay. Sian saya dan Aie. Dahlah kena kasik duit raya. Pastu takde sapa nak kesian ngan kitaorang pulak. Kecuali Maklong dan Mama lah. Daripada dua orang tu macam confirm je dapat unless dah kawin la of course.

Harini officemate saya dah ajak pergi Alamanda (nak pergi mana lagi pun?). So, this is a good opportunity to give Theodore some exercise sambil beli kasut baru, handbag raya, hair accessories baru oops, pecah rahsia. Saya window shopping je, promise.

I know Nanad is going to Penang. Please bring my love along with you to Pearl Island to Encik. Tunggu... Lagi 2 minggu je nak raya. If rezeki lebih baik.... oops. Taknak cakap. Harap-harap semuanya okay. Tolong doakan yang terbaik saja okay?

Okeh, nak korek-korek internet sekarang for information about online gambling. I’m a gamer yo sekarang! Syiokness.

p.s: semalam saya call lecturer saya dan dia masih ingat saya :’( oh sungguh terharu. Sungguh noble. Nak jadi cikgu jugaklah macam ni. Oh, lagi satu, Adik will be home for a day! yeayness lompat tinggi-tinggi!

Abang jom webcam ramai-ramai malam ni?

September 03, 2009

Doa.

Ya Allah, semoga kau panjangkan umur ibu bapa kami, umur kami dan umur semua orang yang beriman. Semoga kau makbulkan doa kami semua. Semoga kau buka pintu rezeki kami dan berikan kami rezeki yang halal dan baik. Semoga kau lembutkan hati kami untuk menerima kebaikan. Semoga kau tabahkan hati kami untuk menerima dugaan. Semoga kau panjangkan jodoh kami dan kurniakan kami zuriat yang baik. Semoga yang baik itu menjadi milik kami.


Ya Allah berkatilah doa kami dan makbulkanlah semua yang baik.
Amin.

mangsa keadaan.

I have been told straight to my face before that I play “victim” very well. Thing is, someone who can’t act (me) can’t play that role well unless that person is experiencing it, correct?

Saya taknak menyalahkan keadaan. Akan tetapi, kadangkala, memang keadaanlah masalahnya. Keadaan merupakan masalah yang paling besar.

Dah 1 tahun 2 bulan saya bekerja. Guess what? Masalah saya setahun yang lepas memang tak selesai lagi. Hari ini, saya telah nekad untuk mengubah nasib saya.

Sitting in that meeting today made me realise that I can never prove how invaluable I can be to them. They can never appreciate me. Perhaps, never ever will.

I have never been given my fair chance of proving my worth. Semuanya tak boleh buat kerana “dia junior”. Semuanya terlalu kompleks kerana dia hanya “contract officer”. It is not funny anymore, as much as a joke it is. What’s the point of having 5 officers in the Unit jika mereka hanya melihat mereka berdua sahaja sebagai officer?

It’s better off without me, setuju?

Dulu, masa saya baru-baru masuk kerja, KU saya terus pass saya kepada Ro. I suffered. The first 6 months of my working life was literally working hell.

Pindah Unit dan dapat Boss yang baik dan kuat mengajar. Pindahkan Unit pula just when I was learning the good things. Masuk balik dengan Ro dan kena buli dengan baik sekali. Apa dia ingat aku kuli ke apa? Kemudian, pairing system diwujudkan dan saya di pair dengan manusia baik dan pandai yang menerima pandangan saya dan ajar saya dengan baik. Tak sampai sehari, tukarkan Unit semua orang.

Itu namanya dengki.

4 Units in a year and you thought I have learnt alot? No. I have not. It is no longer funny. My working life sucks and everything around it is not falling into place the way I thought it would. You win some, you lose some. At this point, I am losing all. My intelligence and my sanity. Thank God for my blog.

Saya masuk dengan harapan tinggi dan semangat jitu. Now, I am just a soulless little girl going through the motions. It is not funny anymore.

I cannot wait to be a student. I make a better student than a worker. Kerana pensyarah sentiasa beri ilmu tanpa rasa kedekut dan appreciate orang yang strive untuk jadi pandai. Itu macam saya. Saya tak pandai, tapi saya cuba.

Tapi, yang bagusnya, employer saya akan bayar gaji saya tapi lecturer saya akan sayang saya.

Life is good. Tak sabar rasanya nak mengubah nasib sendiri.

Selama ini saya duduk macam tunggul kayu yang bodoh dan menerima semua seadanya. Tidak lagi.

I cannot take it anymore.

Hopefully everything else will fall into place. I need to shift my focus points.

September 02, 2009

53.

I’ve been with the same guy since I was 20. Today, we are 53 months.

I wish I knew what you all want to know, but I don’t, so I have no answers.

Sometimes, people ask me the most painful questions like,

“awak pasti dia akan kawin dengan awak?”

(of course in good humour, with no ill intention)

And I think no one can say for sure what will happen today, tonight, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next year or next month. So, no, I am not pasti.

No one is pasti.

All I know is we work hard for the things we want. I have never really gotten anything without a struggle anyway.

So, it would be nice if people put the questions to a stop for a while. If you are curious, so am I.

And you have no idea how many more times curious I am than you lot.

Kompang takkan berbunyi senang-senang.

September 01, 2009

Satu

I can’t seem to decide whether a long weekend is a blessing or a nuisance. I am sleepy. Too sleepy to even string sentences together to make a discernible, logical opinion. Yet, here I am writing my sleep away.

I seldom write about Merdeka. Put it simply, I do not like jumping on the bandwagon when I cannot claim for sure that I know what it means. Because I think we (the younger generation) really don’t get what it really, really means.

To us, it is just another holiday. The type, which, on the eve we celebrate with friends, eating out and watching fireworks as the clock strikes twelve. Believe me; I have stopped doing even that. I’d like to believe that there isn’t anything wrong in celebrating the day the way we do, yet, I think the lot of us are misconceived about the whole Merdeka celebration idea.

We are pretty much, still mentally colonised.

Think of these scenarios.
If I put two cars next to each other, one a Proton, the other, a Honda, and you can afford both. Most of us would probably, obviously choose a Honda, correct? We cannot help it. “Japanese cars are of good quality. Their machines last longer, their bodies are better, not like some recycled aluminium foil.” Yes, we say all these things to justify buying something un-“local”.

Thing is, we cannot help it, can we? I would like to believe that local cars are better, yet I find that they are not. I find that even the people making these national cars don’t have faith in the product they make. It shows in their product. So where’s that national pride again?

So much for being free from the claws of the Japanese, we still are very much colonised, don’t you think so?

And what’s with celebrating in the clubs drinking the night away? Did you notice that those who are proudly flashing their liquor bottles in pictures are Malays? So much for being independent from the British for 52 years, we still practice what they preached, forgetting, always forgetting that being independent means alot more than just not having them around to check on us anymore.

I know some people would say that it wasn’t any better back then, and that during our forefathers’ times, they lead this kind of lifestyle too. But that’s exactly the point I’m making. After 52 years, we are no better than what they are and what they were.

At least they got us our independence. What did we do again?

And did you notice that we always have something bad to say about our local artists? This is especially prevalent amongst those who grew up hearing Queen, ELO, Bee Gees and whatnot. I mean, I grew up listening to them too. What I’m talking about is our parents.

Have you heard the Satu Malaysia song? The collaboration between the DJs? I like it. And I like it alot. I think that despite the lack of extremely strong vocals, they managed to create a song which is catchy and appeals to the society. And they managed to do it even before an official Satu Malaysia song was selected.

Yet, people condemn them for their efforts. So what if it was a feeble attempt? At least there’s an attempt, right? Whether or not it was a failure or success is a different story altogether. No need to compare with “Heal the World”. Bottom line is that the message is a good one.

I don’t know how many of us actually know the history of our Independence. If you’re a history hater like me, the most you would know is probably that historic moment when Tunku raised his hand to shout “Merdeka!” , which others followed suit in unison. Okay, maybe for me, it means a little bit more because I was involved in a little Merdeka play way back in primary school. Other than that, I cannot say for sure that I know much, let alone enough.

Safe to say, that I am still, pretty much colonised. Heck, I use the English language more than BM. And I am guilty as charged when it comes to glorifying all things overseas and not being proud of all things local.

Are you any better?