can't hardly wait

It's only mid-October and I'm already getting impatient for 2018 to come. 

2017 has so far been a pretty bleurgh year for me. Perhaps it's because it's part of the first 2 years of "new motherhood" for me what with having a new baby and breastfeeding and the whole works or maybe it's the pile of new responsibilities that I've had to deal with at work that has made this year the way that it is.

Don't get me wrong, there have been some super highlights in 2017 both professionally and personally, but it still doesn't stop me from wanting 2018 to come quick. Is it weird that I feel that way about things?

Speaking of 2018... have you already thought about what you'd like to do or be in 2018? 

I can't remember the last time I made some real resolutions about anything at all since I now basically let every single day work itself out. And probably that has been one of the causes of why my life is the way it is because in a way... I'm just attracting "nothingness" in my everyday, don't you think?

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"... isn't that what people always say?

And I'm scared I'm not planning my life properly so I'm seriously hoping to change that. 

And in so doing, I really need to know how to revive a "dead heart"...

Have you ever felt as numbed and jaded as I am feeling like right now?

I seem to avoid every motivational quote I come across these days because I feel like it is impossible for someone to feel so positive about everything all the time... and trust me this coming from me is scaring myself because wasn't I the one who did the #100happydayschallenge and felt so strongly about how it totally changed my 2014?

So, I'm thinking... since I so voluntarily got myself sucked into this invinsible "black hole", I must make a conscious effort to get myself back out of it because this is not how I want things to be going forward. SURELY... there must be a silver lining to everything... right?

I'm sure I'm just the one who's just too blurred to see it at this point. And in any case, I can't wait for 2018 to come.