how flattering

I was in the cafe getting my most favourite drink in the world (for this week) when the boy behind the counter excitedly said,

"Kak, ada orang kimsalam..."

But I noticed that his enthusiasm faltered when his gaze slowly fell to my belly.

"WOI DAH KAWEN LAH!", he yelled to his friends at the back.

"W'salam", I replied with a smile.

After all, jawab salam wajib kan?

Mak Buyung 6 bulan pregnant pun ada orang nak kasi salam lagi? Haha. Must be the pregnancy glow. Or those boys were just pulling my leg.

But either way, I've got to admit that I found it flattering. And not to mention super amusing.

;)

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naturally...

So, yes. We decided that for now, it’d be best for us to stay put at where we are currently staying. I know, I know, I said we were looking for property, right? But putting money in such a huge investment isn’t that easy. It’s a HUGE commitment, making us become unreasonably fussy about so many things, not that it can be helped. It’s not as easy as buying a dress from a shop or making a split second decision on where to eat.

Like I said, it’s HUGE. And it involved loads of tears (on my part) and loads of stress (on us both). Having first-hand information about property from my mother who happens to be a Valuer by profession is both good and bad. Good info and too much info came all at once, making it all become much too confusing to bear.

So, there. I’ve said it. We’ve put our house search on hold. Perhaps a little to our detriment, but the best decision... for now.

Now that we’ve decided to stay, I have no choice but to make our place... home. Not that I never thought of it as home before. Remember how taken I was by the place, even when it didn’t have anything at all in it? I still am taken by the place, really. I just wished I could make it home and call it mine.

Enough of being melancholy unnecessarily. Now, I’ve got to scout for ideas to welcome the little one on board. The place has got to be as cosy and as child-friendly as it possibly can!

It’s a good thing our place gets A LOT and I mean a lot of natural light and air circulation is aplenty!

I think I’ll start with the living room, the best place for our own little ulat gonggok to roam around when s/he is big enough ;)

After this, if you never hear the last of my living hall/house decoration ideas, please bear with me ;)

Image Googled

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Sandbox.

Redha dan pasrah are two very seemingly similar, yet very different things in reality. And this is one of the few things I learnt from watching Ombak Rindu last weekend with the entire family (minus Abang).

I have gone through this life thinking of what I really want to do and what I plan to achieve out of it. But I have to admit that to a certain extent, I am not a dreamer. Not in the sense where I know exactly what it is that I want, or how it is that I plan to get to it.

And I know that that’s a very bad thing.

I keep coming to the same job every single day, complaining about the same people, doing the same things and thinking that “good things come to those who WAIT”.

Little did I know that there is very little truth in that. Good things only come to those who strive for good things. And to have good things, we need to dream. Even if it is just a little dream. I reassessed my position and realised that I too, like many of you want many things in life. They may not be extraordinary, but that doesn’t make me want them any less.

Realising that there are actually things which I desire, I have learnt from many of my mistakes (and of others’) that even if something doesn’t interest me, it doesn’t mean that I can remain in my oblivion. I can’t keep my head buried in the sand and hope that the world would work its wonders for me, or worst still, for it to be on a standstill just because I am scared to face it head on.

And moreover, I most certainly should not be so easily satisfied and claim that I am redha with whatever it is that Allah has mercifully granted to me. Because, during the tazkirah by the Ustaz who came to my parents’ house for takbir Aidilfitri, I learnt that you can only claim that you are redha if you have done everything in your power to make things better for yourself and to make yourself a better you.

I found that I kept second guessing myself. Have I done enough to be a better me?

And I have come to the realisation that the only way for me to become a better me is through knowledge. Ignorance is bliss but knowledge is power. They are hackneyed expressions told time and time again but they ring truth. By gaining more knowledge, we are only helping ourselves.

You may find this hard to believe but I have been keeping my head buried under the sand for the most part of my life. And trust me, even pulling it out slowly from the sandbox scares the living daylights out of me.

But through my mistakes (and of others’), I know that I do not want to be the people I don’t want to be. I don’t want to die dreamless. I don’t want to leave this world without leaving a mark. I don’t want people to think of me as weak. I don’t want to leave my children and family behind with my mistakes and regrets and for them to not be proud of me. I don’t want them to clean up after me and slog doubly hard just because I was irresponsible throughout my life.

And most importantly, I do not want them to learn, most certainly not from me, that we can live this life without striving for better.

That is pasrah, not redha.

And that can only start with change. And change starts from me. From now.

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gag order.

There are times when I feel like telling people they need to lay off explaining things. Because really, some things are self-explanatory. You just have to do what you have to do and live and let live. No explanation needed.

Because sometimes, which is becoming most times, explaining just becomes too much to bear. And it’s becoming more and more annoying. Not so much the explanation. Just you.

So, my wish this new year is that you would just stop annoying me. That means, you’ve got to stop explaining yourself.

Because really, I don’t want to know.

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plus one

At least once a month, we’ll go on a double date (plus one). And each time we come back from our dates, we feel so much better. Because who would have thought that living in Putrajaya would be okay after all, as long as we have close friends around.

Yesterday, we were due for another double date (plus one). But this time it was different because we were hosting, instead of choosing a place to eat out at.

So, I cooked and all was well and dandy.

But of course, the highlight of our double date was actually our Plus One, si ulat gonggok comel ni.

That was the first time we had her over at our place and I’ve got a feeling that our double dates will be at home from now on. It was so much fun just watching her “sweep” the place and aiming for things on the cabinet and “reading” the magazines and nibbling her toes and screaming at the tissue box.

Oh my God, how do you mommies do it? How do you resist planting sloppy kisses on your baby’s cheeks or cuddling up to them like you can never let go? And most importantly, how on earth do you all leave your babies when you’re out at work?

Jamie isn’t even my baby and I couldn’t bear the thought of her going home last night. I was already imagining myself snuggling up next to her on the comforter until she fell asleep. And trust me that doesn’t take much effort since she smells so damn nice.

*sigh*

Although people tell me that motherhood isn’t as easy as it seems, I believe that people keep having children for a reason. And that no matter how hard it gets, they are all worth it in the end.

I’m putting my foot down. Our double dates from hereon shall be at our place! So that si ulat gonggok boleh roam around the place as she pleases and not be stuck in her stroller.

But let’s call pizza next time okay? Last night saya flat out! Haha.

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happy and shiny

Theme was Carnival Extravaganza!

I rummaged my mom's closet and storeroom and found my old skirt. Tried it on with fingers crossed. Sumbat-sumbat my you-know-wheres into the skirt. And tada~! We have a skirt that fits!

Googled some ideas on how to look more gypsy-like and found this -

And this -

And I thought to myself, "Wahai Mak Buyung, macam mana nak pakai prim top and bare belly and corset and all? Sedarlah diri wahai dompot!"

So, I googled some more and finally found this -

Phew, thankfully ada gypsy yang ala-ala sopan jugak. So, I went to Mines and got myself an ala-ala gypsy top. Didn't bring accessories because I totally forgot mine are all in TTDI and not Putrajaya. But I borrowed my friends' maka I became a complete gypsy that night. Wanted to put some bandana on my head tapi rasa sayang sebab rambut cantik malam tu. *perasan!*

Binged on cherry tomatoes with Navee. Ate salty popcorn. Had a lot of laughs. Slept late. And laughed some more in the morning.

Though not all things went as planned, I'm glad that I at least had those few lovely moments with my friends. :)

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Hari Berlaga Perut

As suggested by my dear friend Ieja (who was also one of the first few to guess that I was pregnant), I went to the Maternity and Children Expo at Midvalley on 19th November 2011. This wasn’t my first, but it was my first HUGE one. The one I previously went to was the Mom’s Care Expo at Ikano and I only went on the last day, so there weren’t really that many people.

At the first Expo, I bought my Baby a Graco stroller. It was going at such a bargain and it wasn’t the display set or the last piece and I have always had my eyes on that kind of model as it came with an infant car seat and I just couldn’t resist! People said I was so super semangat, seeing that I was only about 4 months pregnant at that time, but like I said, I couldn’t resist. Don’t think you could either if you were me. Hehehehe. Other than the stroller, I didn’t find anything of real importance or necessity so, I gave them a pass.

Plus, even if the stroller was going at a bargain, it still caused some kind of dent to my wallet. Tsk tsk tsk.

Then, came 19th November. I was supposed to take leave and all that Friday, being the semangat me but I couldn’t! So, early that Saturday morning, I woke up, made breakfast and off we went to the Expo. Along with my book with the long, long list of Baby (and Mama) things inside.

There were so many people I tell you! So many! But since I was so semangat, I actually felt excited, rather than agitated! Hahaha. Weird, I know, but true. And after going round and round a few times, I managed to slash quite a substantial bit off my list. I think my biggest loot of the day was the Tommy Tippee sterilizer with 4 bottles and bottle brush inside, which was sold at half price! I got it for only RM210! Such a steal, don’t you think so?

Basically, on that day, I slashed off the things on my Feeding List.

One of my favourite booths was the Medela booth, which had samples of their breastpumps and very helpful salepersons. After much thought and consultations with various mum friends, I bought the Medela Swing. I know that some people said we don’t know yet whether or not we would be able to breastfeed exclusively, so why invest so much, but I’ll take my chances. After all, the Medela Swing was going at only RM699, the best price I’ve seen anywhere so far.

Other than that, we bought bottles and a cooler bag from Avent and Medela and a few clothes for me (mine are getting pretty snug!) and not much else. The Mothercare booth (where I bought my Tommy Tippee sterilizer) was going crazy with sales and their cots were sold at 70% off. But since my cot issue is settled (the semangat grandparents in KL couldn’t resist and dah siap beli and PASANG kat rumah!), I didn’t really bother about those things.

The Pureen booth was swamped with people at that time too and I so badly wanted to see what it was all about. So, I went and saw that people were grabbing bedding sets and pillows and blankets and clothes! But the queue to pay was so long, I didn’t think it was worth it, especially since I was told repeatedly by my husband that clothes and blankets aren’t essentials (yet) since we don’t know the gender of the baby.

I heard that the MamyPoko Booth had crazy sales as well, but our hands were literally full and we were pretty damn broke at that time, so we decided to pass and went home contented with the things we got. Diapers can wait ;)

Even though there’s still a whole list of things yet to be bought and slashed from my Baby (and Mama) list, especially the little things like baby bath and lotion and etc., I’m not really that worried (yet) because the bigger things have been settled. Baby’s even got a bath tub and towels, which I got at Mothercare for really reasonable prices.

I basically had a lot of fun at the Expo and plan to go to the one scheduled at the end of February (see first how larat I will be at that point in time). Plus, the year end sales are back and it’s just a matter of time before we confirm the gender of our baby and then, I will start shopping for baby clothes. I already cannot tahan seeing the rompers at Mothercare and I so cannot wait to get them!

Forgive this first time mom for being so semangat about everything, but really, these are exciting times and I want to remember them always.

Thanks Ieja for suggesting! ;)

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the stars they claim to be.

Guess where I am at?

Back in Putrajaya of course! Chomping on my roti kaya, my current obsession (we’ll talk about that in a separate post) while sipping on my drink, while looking at my blank New Document. And wondering whether or not I should write about my experience staying in Pulai Springs.

I think I should. For the benefit of all.

My stay began with me waiting for my room keys. I was assigned to a room with 2 of my other good friends and we were all told that check in time would be at 3. I came with the office bus, and so I had the power to determine the stops we were to make, to make sure that we all arrived at 3, so that everyone would get their rooms immediately upon touchdown.

I finally got my room at 6.30 p.m..

Goes to show that you may not necessarily be given your room as promised though you have booked. So, the next time you plan to stay at Pulai Springs, please don’t make any plans to go to places of interest (like JPO, for example) on the day of arrival. It might be a while before you will actually be given your room keys to enjoy the comfort of your room.

Comfort of my room?

My arrival began with my toilet visits. Forgive my indiscretion but seriously, dude, don’t question a pregnant woman’s toilet habits. This lil’ Boss inside me is getting heavier, it presses on my you know where, I might as well be living in the toilet. Ahahaha. So, after many toilet visits to the public hotel rest rooms, I finally got my own toilet in my apartment. Bliss. After my business is done, I take the hose off the hook. And guess what happens when I try to hook it back on?

The hook is stuck to the hose. =.="

But because I was given an apartment with 2 of my good friends, I was in good spirits and thought nothing of it. After all, it was time to get ready for the dinner.

We call for housekeeping. We all needed an iron. And badly. They said, press 1 for all types of room services. So I pressed 1.

No response. In fact, it actually sounded like the phone was not hooked on properly so it was either engaged or out of service all the time. We all ended up wearing un-ironed shirts to the dinner. I know the itinerary said “smart casual” and it was a BBQ dinner, so we didn’t really have to dress to our nines, but it didn’t mean we had to look like cowboys who slept on a horse all week long. But we did. And we went to dinner with hopeful stomachs, because word has it that their food is great.

It was o-kay. Just okay. Nothing to shout out about. And so few choices! And for breakfast, the most important meal of the day, I found myself utterly disappointed. No pastries, no croissants, a very peasant choice of breads and well, basically pretty much the same thing every single day, with nothing much to look forward to, to begin with. I was floored. I was seriously thinking of croissants and good bread when I thought of hotels and I was met with none! Huh! And though they did serve Laksa Johor one time for lunch, I can say with conviction that Pulai Springs failed to make Johor proud. Big time.

The only thing I loved about all the meals was the salad bar, which served yummy cherry tomatoes.

And there are a myriad of other bad reviews about a myriad of other things, but... since they didn’t happen directly to me, I am not really in the position to say anything.

All I can say is that for a hotel which claims to be a 5-star hotel, Pulai Springs disappoints.

So, if you have a party of 200 or so, don’t even consider staying there. I don’t think they are used to catering to such big parties. As such, they are not very accommodating and they siphon money out of you, refuse to cooperate to give you the best deals and they basically don’t help you to make the things you have in mind happen the way you want them to happen.

I was thinking, if the food was great, it would have at least shut us up a lil’, but the food wasn’t great. So, we can’t and won’t shut up. Because it was supposed to be an office getaway, but it ended up stressing us more. Which I’m sure wasn’t what we had in mind.

So, hello Putrajaya! I’m back. Home feels so much more 5-star than that hotel which claims to be 5-star.

Now, let’s Google some good hotel which serves good breakfast. Suggestions, please, if any?

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Done!

I had an aim to achieve something before the year ends.

And that was to get everything on my table at work done and filed. Yes, EVERYTHING. No matter how silly and unreasonable that seemed. And though that aim came with 3 very stressful weeks, which caused the tanduk setan in me to come out of places I never knew I had them, I am free of my pending work! Free as a bird! Shhhh. It’s sort of like a secret. Please don’t tell anyone if you know where I work. I really want it to stay that way, at least until the end of this year. And that’s just about 28 days away. I SO deserve this break! Phew!

Well, lately, I really haven’t had anything interesting to update on, actually. Like I said, I have been slogging at work. I didn’t read the newspapers, alternative blogs, other blogs or anything at all. I haven’t even been listening to any music. It’s all been about work, work and work. Good God. What has become of my life?

And of course, there’s been lil’ Bubbles, who has been constantly kicking with glee, come 6.30 p.m., when the Daddy tells me to come home. Hmm... Getting more and more demanding everyday! Constantly reminding me who’s the Boss. Haha.

Other than that, my life has been pretty uneventful. Dull. Uninformative. Stressful. Bleak. As bleak as the weather has been of late.

But all that is about to change tomorrow (hopefully!). For the first time, I am really looking forward to an office getaway. Albeit for work, I really hope that the good hotel food and crazy company will keep me happy.

Hello, Pulai Springs! Goodbye Putrajaya.

Will be back with photos, should I find the time to take them ;)

Theodore’s in (more like really dying!) for some tender loving care, oh yes ;)

Meanwhile, watch this space for me, will you?

Be back soon. Much, much love!

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babykicks.

Year End.

It’s one of the most celebrated time of year (what with the festivities and sales and whatnot) and also ironically, one of the most dreaded. For me at least. I’m not entirely free from my “in” tray yet but today, I’m just going to take a lil’ breather. Just a lil’ one.

People say that the best stage of pregnancy is the second trimester. And I AGREE wholeheartedly! Though I didn’t quite have a textbook pregnancy where my vomiting stopped at 12 or 16 weeks, but rather, at the 19th going into the 20th week, my headaches subsided bit by bit by bit and I found that it became increasingly easy to do my work because my mind was not swimming in a bowl of confused mush.

And with a clearer head, came better quality in work and a happier me! Because by now, you should know how much I love working, right?

Well, anyways, the highlight of the past 3 weeks or so was the very, very first kick! I was 19 weeks pregnant then and we just got back from my husband’s hometown in Melaka. I was lying on my back in bed reading a novel and put a cushion over my hand, which was on my belly. And the next thing I know... TOING!, goes Bubbles.

I was so amazed I stared at my belly for a good few minutes, just willing Bubbles to show me some kind of movement. And Bubbles obliged! My husband was soooo excited. In fact we were both so excited at the shivering motions my belly was making. I don’t know how to explain how something so small like that could make me happy, but it sure did, alright.

Thereafter, I noticed that Bubbles would respond to other things other than my hand, like the light or Daddy’s poking fingers. Each time we shone some light on wherever we felt it was hiding, it would automatically go to the other side and the next thing I know, my belly would turn all lembik at the spot it was at. Likewise when my husband starts talking too much to it, while poking at it. And since then, Alhamdulillah, I have seen it move or at the very least felt it move daily. Bubbles has worked up a routine of its own too. So, I can kind of anticipate at which time of day it will move.

Now, who would have thought that belly-watching could be so fun, right?

Oh, if you noticed, I still address the baby as Bubbles, rather than a particular gender and that’s not so much because I am keeping secrets or anything, but rather, because I DON’T KNOW YET! Ahah. I was supposed to scan during my last check up but there was a teeny weeny glitch in the system (which is now settled) and so, I haven’t seen Bubbles for a long time now.

Other than that, I am happy and content, knowing that this lil’ person is alive and kicking (literally!) inside of me.

When people say that it’s possible to love someone without actually meeting that someone, I believe now.

Oh by the way, here I was at 20 weeks ;)

I’m at 22 weeks right now with only 18 weeks to go, oh, how time flies. I met the halfway mark and more!

I am going to miss this moment. I totally get all of you when you say that now. Totally.

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what's my password again?

The girl gets herself an Android and you’d think she’d be updating at least twice a day. Tettt. So wrong.

On blogs which link me, I can see that I have been out of the blogosphere for approximately 3 weeks now. Tett. So not me, don’t you think?

Thing is this. These past few weeks have been some of the most trying in this year, so far. I can’t quite put it in so many words. Each time I try have a positive outlook about what happened, I find myself failing miserably. Each time I try to take it out on my blog, everything came out but good.

There were times when I just wished I were a faceless blogger. No name. No photos. No identity. Totally and completely anonymous. So that I could write about whatever I wanted without having the people who know me know that it was me.

Yes, it was that bad. In fact, I was listening to Adele’s Someone Like You constantly because I just felt the music suited my mood. Now, don’t go around speculating. There’s nothing wrong with my marriage or the likes. It’s just something I can’t tell.

But they say that there’s always a silver lining to every dark cloud and my silver lining came, finally. Not in any form worth bragging or talking about but still. I’m glad I’m finally back.

Just remember that –

You can’t make everyone like you just by being nice;

You can’t be too trusting. This is no longer College when everyone is your sister and you could trust your life with them;

You might regret the words you write at the spur of the moment. Even if you delete those words later, it might not change the way you felt at that moment and worse, it might not change the way the recipient took it. So, my take on it is to be best friends with your husband. Tell him instead;

When someone gives you “fire”, never retaliate with “fire”. Sometimes, it’s worth not talking about certain things, just because. Sometimes, it’s good to be “water”. Boy am I glad I’m an Aquarian. It comes naturally; and

You're never too old to learn anything. 

And now that I’m okay, I’ll make you sick to the core with my non-stop updates. Haha.

Good to be back ;)

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