halilintar gemuk.

Hello, good morning! Did you drive like a halilintar to work this morning? I did! Thanks to sleeping late all weekend long. I’ve been busy baking, yes I have been! Isn’t it exciting, the fact that Raya is so close? It’s one week from now to be exact! Hee hee.

Anyways, I had a brilliant weekend. Though at the moment, I can’t share much due to some extreme ‘brilliance’ I was struck with. I left the photos I took in my laptop and left Theodore at home. So, no photos of my yummy biscuits to make you all hungry and drooling.

(it doesn’t bother me much because I’m not fasting. Teeheehee)

Yes, I knew it was coming, though I was hoping it to be really late. But that’s alright. I think I am really lacking in plain water so this is a good time to compensate for all those times I didn’t watch my water intake.

Anyways, who is in the mood to work?

Really, raise your hands, if any! Because I’m not really in the mood. Wait. I’m not in the mood at all. But surprise, surprise! I’ll only be on leave for one day after Raya. I don’t know why I didn’t take longer. Maybe it’s the thrill of knowing that not many people will be around in the office then? I don’t know. Hee.

I’m not really in the mood to blog much, too. It was nice to be on a 5-day blogbreak. But I’ve got so many issues swimming in my head, I need somewhere to vent. But I’m not going to do that now, I guess.

Actually, I don’t know what the point in writing this is. I just don’t feel like going to work, but here I am at work, trying to do work. If it wasn’t for the meeting tomorrow… well, never mind. Off to work I go.

But I’ll be back! (I think)

An offer I could not resist

I’ve given up telling the girls to come over to my side. Hee. I know now that they feel like The Curve and OU is as far as KLCC seems to me. After (not) much consideration (I didn’t need to consider anything, these are my sisters hey, hey) and since the majority of the girls are either working or staying there, I decided to hitch a ride with Ms. Aleng Double E after work for a berbuka and catching up session with them.

Boy, am I glad I went or what?!

They have been “spamming” my email for days on end now, trying hard to decide where oh where to eat. Good thing Aleng and I are on this side (Putrajaya), so we don’t get (and were not expected) to decide. All we know is that we want to eat. So, lucky us, yeay!

Finally, they decided on the buffet at The Apartment. Thanks to the birthday girl, 15 seats were booked and thanks to the organisers, 11 people came! I’m so proud of us! Heee!



The Apartment does not boast an array of 300 dishes like JW Marriot and some other hotels. But, I’d have to say that the buffet is the most value for money one I’ve been to so far. Simply because they served simple food like pilaf rice, daging dendeng, roast leg of lamb , seafood pasta, potato gratin, baked cod with cheese sauce and even bubur jagung, some of which are local favourites, which they knew people loved. Slurp, slurp! Are you salivating now?

(Haha, I only managed to snap my first round. After that, I was busy concentrating eating)

We had rounds and rounds of food, even after we called for the bill. Hahaaha. And of course, we had fun catching up with each other; where we were and what we were doing and who’s getting married and when, and when is my turn, again? The lot of them “amined” K.Chik’s doa last night that mine would be next year.

“there isn’t a single veil between us and Allah during iftaar and the prayers of fasting people are answered"

So what say you? Ameen. Jika ada rezeki

I had to leave early last night and I felt a bit sad because I’m sure they adjourned elsewhere after that or took 20, 000 other photos (without me!). So jealous!







But then, duty calls, so I had to head back home since I am working today.

Darlings, I had so, so much fun okeh! You girls really are my huge dose of happiness and I hope we can do this often. Even if often means only once a month

I ♥ you girls alot.

period zit.

For the past 2 months, my cycle has been a tad bit unstable. It comes, but it is either late or early. I can’t tell what will happen this month or next month because now, I just don’t know. Bottom line is that it never takes more than 40 days.

I know there are several things which can affect our cycle; 3 of which are lack of plain water, good exercise and incessant amount of unnecessary stress.

The causes are there and the symptoms are clear; my “period zit” has made its special appearance on my normally flawless (bluwekk perasan) face and it has popped more than twice but that’s what it normally does, so it doesn’t bug me. I honestly don’t mind if I’m late this month. Really.

After all, I am lacking in my usual dosage of plain water and yes, I am under alot of stress; both from lack of work and too much of it at the same time. And of course, you ladies know very well why I wouldn’t mind it being late this month right, right? Qada’ is a very trying thing, men. Really, you should try it with all kinds of godaan being pushed under your nose. Tsk tsk.

Anyways, I know that I am actually hoping in vain. Other than the zit, since 13 Ramadhan, I have been craving for so many things!

1. Teh panas
2. Mee goreng mamak ayam and teh tarik jasema
3. Dominos pizza
4. California pizza kitchen
5. Cheezy wedges
6. Stuffed Olives

(okay, I won’t list them down, it would be too much to bear)

The one thing which has managed to top the list ALL the time is none other than CARAMEL MACHIATTO!

Telltale signs that my period will be here soon. Of course, this can help as well.

I am already at my 32nd day and I am due. Let’s hope this prolongs until Raya?

Haha, you wish. ;p

I cannot wait for tonight la hoh! Cannot !

slumber.

I’m amazed at how easily I fall into slumber nowadays, now that it is fasting month. As if lunch hour breaks are not enough, I take a nap the moment I reach home as well as soon as my head touches the pillow (or something soft like the cushion in front of the TV). Point is, I can no longer choose when and where I want to sleep. I just do, the moment I put my head down.

Yesterday was a crazy day. The first half of it was crazily idle and later that day was crazily busy. Suddenly, later in that day, I got some urgent assignment at 3.45 p.m., only 45 minutes away from the time I was supposed to go back. Of course, I had to stay back a bit. Tsk.

Yesterday, we were told that we were to receive work from 2 Units, instead of being pooled into one huge Unit. I guess they came to their senses and can see now that the pooling system clearly, does not work.

Despite getting so much sleep in the last 24 hours, I am extremely sleepy right now.

I should kick this habit fast. Or does this happen to everyone who fasts?

Anyways, exciting night awaits me tonight! I hope everything goes well so that everything goes as planned.

Happy Birthday Aera dear :)

Til’ I wake up. Taa!

more today.

I don't know why I want you more today, more than I normally want you. Does that make sense at all. This is getting to my head that I even declined to go to OU with the rest of the clan. That part does not make much sense, but I want you more today, more than I normally want you.

I know it is not my position to tell everyone what is going on right now. I don't know if you want them to know.

But I want everyone to pray for him, please. Please?

Rabbi yassir wala tu assir Ya Kareem.
Ya Latiff, Ya Latiff, Ya Latiff.

Semoga Allah redha dengan jalan yang kamu pilih. Ameen.

I want you more today than I normally do.
This is disturbing.

Tsk.

syiokness!

I am at my Mak Ngah's house. This is the second week that we are holding Iftaar sessions together. Last year wasn't this often. But since Atuk is here, we decided to hold it more frequestly since he loves these kinds of get togethers. Even if he doesn't do or say much. Hee.

Yaa is playing doctor at the moment. Okay, maybe not really playing since she is studying to become a doctor. It's really funny. I didn't volunteer myself because then she would be able to see things I don't necessarily want anyone to see. Especially not by a doctor related to me. Huhu. But Nins is having one hell of a time becoming her subject. We are checking pulses and heartbeats and reflexes. The Doctor said that I have slow reflex. Hahaha. Okay, I believe you Yaa. Heee.

Adik is home for the whole weekend! I cannot express how happy I am. So we went out to The Curve and OU today just to pass time by and to run errands of course. Everything is on sale. I bought a shoe which I have been eyeing for so long. I saw it at Alamanda and also The Curve and have been hoping that it would be put on sale but to no avail. So I just grabbed it because I cannot tahan already. Heee.

Okay lah. Wanta hear the Doctor give us health classes. Macam best :)

My Theodore went dead on me, so pictures would have to wait until I get back home.

I'm having super fun!

tahu tak?

Fridays. Need I say more about Fridays? In my previous posts, I am always talking about Fridays being the most unproductive day and all. Thing is, it IS very unproductive to be at work on a day just a few hours away from the weekend. Tsk.

Anyways, sekarang saya dah pandai untuk control emo dengan jiran sebelah di office. Dia memang suka cakap kuat. So, selama 2 hari dia takda this week, saya tenang. But then, of course dia pon kena datang kerja right, so he is back.

Jadi, pagi-pagi sampai saja, saya sumbat telinga dengan headphones (kepunyaan Muhammad sebenarnya (Abg, akak pinjam tau yang Sony tu. Nanti saya belikan awak baru ke) ). Saya ni kadang-kadang mengalahkan orang tak bekerja. Pau adik-adik punya barang-barang. Baju adik yang turtleneck tu paling selalu. Best tahu tak.

Tahun ni saya perasan saya kurang keluar masa bulan puasa. Tahun ni banyak sangat improvement tahu tak. Tahun lepas saya mengalami culture shock yang amat syiok sampai setiap malam talifun Mamita mengadu.

Kadang-kadang Geng D’sara saya tengah makan pon rasa nak kidnap saya so that saya tak sedih sangat. I owe alot to them because they are always there for me. Nanti kita keluar okay. Hmm. Susah duduk rumah dengan parents bila dah biasa duduk sendiri dekat Shah Alam for almost 4 years.

Tapi takpe, tahun ni dah okay. Siap homesick (boleh tak?) lagi kalau tak dapat buka kat rumah. Haha. Contohnya masa buka puasa dekat office on Wednesday haritu. Lepas buka terus cabut. Hee hee. Hey, takpa la, boss kata yang penting kalau dah RSVP mesti datang makan supaya tak berlaku pembaziran. So that is what I did.

Theodore dah lama tak exercise tahu tak. Oh, just in case kamu orang nak tahu, saya telah beli 35mm 1.8f lense tersebut. Oh, sungguh best ambil gambar portrait sekarang ni sebab gambar clear although tak guna flash. Tapi so far, takda gambar untuk berlagak lagi. Terlalu letih untuk exercise. Hmmp. Of course, I am now RM820 lebih miskin, tapi saya dah save berbulan-bulan. Nanti lepas raya saya fikirlah balik macam mana nak recover duit tu.

Tsk.

Harini dah 14 Ramadhan. Tak rasa ke masa berjalan begitu cepat sekarang? Pejam celik mata dah esok lusa tulat. Saya dah kena start tukar duit. Tahun lepas tak kasi duit raya macam ada maaf lagi. Tahun ni? Haha. Mesti kena sound kawkaw if tak hulur-hulur.

Tapi yang dapat banyak Mama Babah Adik Abang je pon. Adik-adik lain, awak tunggu kakak-kakak dan abang-abang awak kerja minta from dia orang okay. Sian saya dan Aie. Dahlah kena kasik duit raya. Pastu takde sapa nak kesian ngan kitaorang pulak. Kecuali Maklong dan Mama lah. Daripada dua orang tu macam confirm je dapat unless dah kawin la of course.

Harini officemate saya dah ajak pergi Alamanda (nak pergi mana lagi pun?). So, this is a good opportunity to give Theodore some exercise sambil beli kasut baru, handbag raya, hair accessories baru oops, pecah rahsia. Saya window shopping je, promise.

I know Nanad is going to Penang. Please bring my love along with you to Pearl Island to Encik. Tunggu... Lagi 2 minggu je nak raya. If rezeki lebih baik.... oops. Taknak cakap. Harap-harap semuanya okay. Tolong doakan yang terbaik saja okay?

Okeh, nak korek-korek internet sekarang for information about online gambling. I’m a gamer yo sekarang! Syiokness.

p.s: semalam saya call lecturer saya dan dia masih ingat saya :’( oh sungguh terharu. Sungguh noble. Nak jadi cikgu jugaklah macam ni. Oh, lagi satu, Adik will be home for a day! yeayness lompat tinggi-tinggi!

Abang jom webcam ramai-ramai malam ni?

Doa.

Ya Allah, semoga kau panjangkan umur ibu bapa kami, umur kami dan umur semua orang yang beriman. Semoga kau makbulkan doa kami semua. Semoga kau buka pintu rezeki kami dan berikan kami rezeki yang halal dan baik. Semoga kau lembutkan hati kami untuk menerima kebaikan. Semoga kau tabahkan hati kami untuk menerima dugaan. Semoga kau panjangkan jodoh kami dan kurniakan kami zuriat yang baik. Semoga yang baik itu menjadi milik kami.

Ya Allah berkatilah doa kami dan makbulkanlah semua yang baik.

Amin.

mangsa keadaan.

I have been told straight to my face before that I play “victim” very well. Thing is, someone who can’t act (me) can’t play that role well unless that person is experiencing it, correct?

Saya taknak menyalahkan keadaan. Akan tetapi, kadangkala, memang keadaanlah masalahnya. Keadaan merupakan masalah yang paling besar.

Dah 1 tahun 2 bulan saya bekerja. Guess what? Masalah saya setahun yang lepas memang tak selesai lagi. Hari ini, saya telah nekad untuk mengubah nasib saya.

Sitting in that meeting today made me realise that I can never prove how invaluable I can be to them. They can never appreciate me. Perhaps, never ever will.

I have never been given my fair chance of proving my worth. Semuanya tak boleh buat kerana “dia junior”. Semuanya terlalu kompleks kerana dia hanya “contract officer”. It is not funny anymore, as much as a joke it is. What’s the point of having 5 officers in the Unit jika mereka hanya melihat mereka berdua sahaja sebagai officer?

It’s better off without me, setuju?

Dulu, masa saya baru-baru masuk kerja, KU saya terus pass saya kepada Ro. I suffered. The first 6 months of my working life was literally working hell.

Pindah Unit dan dapat Boss yang baik dan kuat mengajar. Pindahkan Unit pula just when I was learning the good things. Masuk balik dengan Ro dan kena buli dengan baik sekali. Apa dia ingat aku kuli ke apa? Kemudian, pairing system diwujudkan dan saya di pair dengan manusia baik dan pandai yang menerima pandangan saya dan ajar saya dengan baik. Tak sampai sehari, tukarkan Unit semua orang.

Itu namanya dengki.

4 Units in a year and you thought I have learnt alot? No. I have not. It is no longer funny. My working life sucks and everything around it is not falling into place the way I thought it would. You win some, you lose some. At this point, I am losing all. My intelligence and my sanity. Thank God for my blog.

Saya masuk dengan harapan tinggi dan semangat jitu. Now, I am just a soulless little girl going through the motions. It is not funny anymore.

I cannot wait to be a student. I make a better student than a worker. Kerana pensyarah sentiasa beri ilmu tanpa rasa kedekut dan appreciate orang yang strive untuk jadi pandai. Itu macam saya. Saya tak pandai, tapi saya cuba.

Tapi, yang bagusnya, employer saya akan bayar gaji saya tapi lecturer saya akan sayang saya.

Life is good. Tak sabar rasanya nak mengubah nasib sendiri.

Selama ini saya duduk macam tunggul kayu yang bodoh dan menerima semua seadanya. Tidak lagi.

I cannot take it anymore.

Hopefully everything else will fall into place. I need to shift my focus points.

53.

I’ve been with the same guy since I was 20. Today, we are 53 months.

I wish I knew what you all want to know, but I don’t, so I have no answers.

Sometimes, people ask me the most painful questions like,

“awak pasti dia akan kawin dengan awak?”

(of course in good humour, with no ill intention)

And I think no one can say for sure what will happen today, tonight, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next year or next month. So, no, I am not pasti.

No one is pasti.

All I know is we work hard for the things we want. I have never really gotten anything without a struggle anyway.

So, it would be nice if people put the questions to a stop for a while. If you are curious, so am I.

And you have no idea how many more times curious I am than you lot.

Kompang takkan berbunyi senang-senang.

Satu

I can’t seem to decide whether a long weekend is a blessing or a nuisance. I am sleepy. Too sleepy to even string sentences together to make a discernible, logical opinion. Yet, here I am writing my sleep away.

I seldom write about Merdeka. Put it simply, I do not like jumping on the bandwagon when I cannot claim for sure that I know what it means. Because I think we (the younger generation) really don’t get what it really, really means.

To us, it is just another holiday. The type, which, on the eve we celebrate with friends, eating out and watching fireworks as the clock strikes twelve. Believe me; I have stopped doing even that. I’d like to believe that there isn’t anything wrong in celebrating the day the way we do, yet, I think the lot of us are misconceived about the whole Merdeka celebration idea.

We are pretty much, still mentally colonised.

Think of these scenarios.
If I put two cars next to each other, one a Proton, the other, a Honda, and you can afford both. Most of us would probably, obviously choose a Honda, correct? We cannot help it. “Japanese cars are of good quality. Their machines last longer, their bodies are better, not like some recycled aluminium foil.” Yes, we say all these things to justify buying something un-“local”.

Thing is, we cannot help it, can we? I would like to believe that local cars are better, yet I find that they are not. I find that even the people making these national cars don’t have faith in the product they make. It shows in their product. So where’s that national pride again?

So much for being free from the claws of the Japanese, we still are very much colonised, don’t you think so?

And what’s with celebrating in the clubs drinking the night away? Did you notice that those who are proudly flashing their liquor bottles in pictures are Malays? So much for being independent from the British for 52 years, we still practice what they preached, forgetting, always forgetting that being independent means alot more than just not having them around to check on us anymore.

I know some people would say that it wasn’t any better back then, and that during our forefathers’ times, they lead this kind of lifestyle too. But that’s exactly the point I’m making. After 52 years, we are no better than what they are and what they were.

At least they got us our independence. What did we do again?

And did you notice that we always have something bad to say about our local artists? This is especially prevalent amongst those who grew up hearing Queen, ELO, Bee Gees and whatnot. I mean, I grew up listening to them too. What I’m talking about is our parents.

Have you heard the Satu Malaysia song? The collaboration between the DJs? I like it. And I like it alot. I think that despite the lack of extremely strong vocals, they managed to create a song which is catchy and appeals to the society. And they managed to do it even before an official Satu Malaysia song was selected.

Yet, people condemn them for their efforts. So what if it was a feeble attempt? At least there’s an attempt, right? Whether or not it was a failure or success is a different story altogether. No need to compare with “Heal the World”. Bottom line is that the message is a good one.

I don’t know how many of us actually know the history of our Independence. If you’re a history hater like me, the most you would know is probably that historic moment when Tunku raised his hand to shout “Merdeka!” , which others followed suit in unison. Okay, maybe for me, it means a little bit more because I was involved in a little Merdeka play way back in primary school. Other than that, I cannot say for sure that I know much, let alone enough.

Safe to say, that I am still, pretty much colonised. Heck, I use the English language more than BM. And I am guilty as charged when it comes to glorifying all things overseas and not being proud of all things local.

Are you any better?