it's kind of tough when you already know the conclusion...
when you don't know how to get there.
right?
June 11, 2009
June 10, 2009
good people always get caught doing bad things II
This morning, unlike the rest of the other mornings in this week, I chitchatted with Shiida over breakfast, at the back room of the office, until it was past 8.30 a.m. when office hours start officially.
Last week and the entire 2 days of this week, I have been working like a dog, going here and there non-stop and so today, I thought I’d loosen up a bit.
Then, waltzed in Big Boss Number 2. It was a very incriminating situation, the both of us eating and discussing cars and whatnots, as if we didn’t have enough already on our plates to deal with.
Memang kalau dah baik tu asyik kantoi aje kerja. Sekarang semua orang takut nak jalan dengan kitaorang sebab asyik kantoi tak guna betul.
Kena pegi lunch pukul satu sharp. Jika tidak, that's it lah.
Benci betul! Not fair!!! ;p
for prequel, please click *here*
Last week and the entire 2 days of this week, I have been working like a dog, going here and there non-stop and so today, I thought I’d loosen up a bit.
Then, waltzed in Big Boss Number 2. It was a very incriminating situation, the both of us eating and discussing cars and whatnots, as if we didn’t have enough already on our plates to deal with.
Memang kalau dah baik tu asyik kantoi aje kerja. Sekarang semua orang takut nak jalan dengan kitaorang sebab asyik kantoi tak guna betul.
Kena pegi lunch pukul satu sharp. Jika tidak, that's it lah.
Benci betul! Not fair!!! ;p
for prequel, please click *here*
Krap krup krap
I’m so hungry. So, so, so the very hungry. Sampaikan last week Sasha tegur kata, “Awak, awak ni semakin kurus. Tapi saya tahu hari-hari awak lapar dalam blog.” Saya rasa Sasha terlalu sayangkan saya sehingga tak nampak pipi saya yang semakin labuh ni. Haha. Biskut kering is the culprit, no joke. I’m positive about that.
I’m so tired because I just came back from a discussion. They are very nice people and they gave me an extension of time to return the Agreement to them. Nasib baik. Boss saya juga seorang yang amat meticulous, jadi saya selalu dilontar dengan soalan yang amat mencabar. Nasib baik dia suka mengajar walaupun adakalanya saya kena marah kerana terlalu ngok la gamaknya. Haih.
Lapar sangat tak tipu. Saya ada sepuluh peket maruku di bawah cubicle tapi semua adalah untuk dijual. Saya tak bercadang menggunakannya untuk sendiri punya consumption. Must. Resist. Must. Resist. Maruku tu sangat sedap. Saya tak tipu.
Jika nak beli, please call me. I’m sure the handful of you have my number kerana anda semua close friends saya. Muhammad di Adelaide, sorry, please try later. Saya rasa ini tidak boleh dibawa masuk ke Melbourne. Maka, tunggulah sehingga anda pulang.
Though I know that maruku is the least of your concern. Ayam goreng is the bestlah. Ataupun Makna. Kitorang dah puasa “ada makna” selama 4 bulan kerana tak syiok bila anda takda. Anda membuatkan Kakak kerempeng anda sangat berselera bila anda makan sangat berMakna. Nasi goreng pattaya lagi satu.
Ohmaijohn I’m so kejam right. Kuang kuang kuang.
Okay, I better go now because I have another discussion this evening. Mesti prepare sebelum dibombard dengan baik sekali.
I need to think out of the box. But before that, I want to get some Oreos from Ryan.
Saya memang suka mengunyah bak lembu grazing the green green grass by the river.
Harap maklum.
I’m so tired because I just came back from a discussion. They are very nice people and they gave me an extension of time to return the Agreement to them. Nasib baik. Boss saya juga seorang yang amat meticulous, jadi saya selalu dilontar dengan soalan yang amat mencabar. Nasib baik dia suka mengajar walaupun adakalanya saya kena marah kerana terlalu ngok la gamaknya. Haih.
Lapar sangat tak tipu. Saya ada sepuluh peket maruku di bawah cubicle tapi semua adalah untuk dijual. Saya tak bercadang menggunakannya untuk sendiri punya consumption. Must. Resist. Must. Resist. Maruku tu sangat sedap. Saya tak tipu.
Jika nak beli, please call me. I’m sure the handful of you have my number kerana anda semua close friends saya. Muhammad di Adelaide, sorry, please try later. Saya rasa ini tidak boleh dibawa masuk ke Melbourne. Maka, tunggulah sehingga anda pulang.
Though I know that maruku is the least of your concern. Ayam goreng is the bestlah. Ataupun Makna. Kitorang dah puasa “ada makna” selama 4 bulan kerana tak syiok bila anda takda. Anda membuatkan Kakak kerempeng anda sangat berselera bila anda makan sangat berMakna. Nasi goreng pattaya lagi satu.
Ohmaijohn I’m so kejam right. Kuang kuang kuang.
Okay, I better go now because I have another discussion this evening. Mesti prepare sebelum dibombard dengan baik sekali.
I need to think out of the box. But before that, I want to get some Oreos from Ryan.
Saya memang suka mengunyah bak lembu grazing the green green grass by the river.
Harap maklum.
June 09, 2009
powerful hopes.
Lunch hour. Saya sedang menghadiri Kursus Pengurusan Perut. Maka, saya hanya makan separuh daripada apa yang saya beli. Lagi separuh telah beri kepada Hadi kerana dia tak sempat beli makanan. Please don’t say, “Hanisa you are not fat!” because I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. It’s a good thing I haven’t finished puasa ganti yet. Next week, I will fast and hopefully graduate with flying colours in the Tummy Management Course, as mentioned above.
Even Theodore can’t lie for me, because he takes horrible photos of Mummy now.
…..
At times like these, I think it’s a great thing that we have faith in something more divine than ourselves. It’s a good thing that no matter how wrong things go, there is some divinity in each explanation, which makes everything just fall into place although they don’t quite fit, just yet.
At times like these, I am thankful for the hopes, prayers and support people around us show.
“Tell him Mama is praying for him.”
At times like these, there is not much we can do except for hope, work hard, hope more and tawakkal.
There is so much we have done.
Surely, we have earned our blessings.
Surely.
But even if this door doesn’t open for us, there would be more doors and we will work just as hard.
We may be walking in circles, but in the end, we'll always find a safe haven. In something, somewhere. And though sometimes no one can see how hard we’ve worked, at least we know that we’ve made a mark somewhere, no matter how little.
What may be glass to some might be a diamond to us. Only we can belittle ourselves. No one else should.
June 08, 2009
the ugly truth.
“Don’t defy me”
I’m sure you’ve gotten that before. Especially if you’re a wife, a daughter, a child. You’re bound to get that when you say too much of the truth; one which they just wouldn’t listen to.
Sometimes, we discuss it in a very serious manner.
Sometimes, we joke about it.
Sometimes, we hide the thing.
Sometimes, we argue about it.
But all the time, we get fired back at for saying what they don’t want us to say because the truth is an ugly thing.
What they fail to realise is that with each sinful stick they puff, our hearts break. Because we know that they know but they don’t want to do anything about it.
The recent implementation of putting gory images on the boxes seem to have created more business for those who were creative enough to foresee that people would look for an obliteration; for ways and means to rid of their guilt.
Their consciences are still heavily hanging there. And this is obvious just by their act of obliterating the ugly truth.
But they do it nonetheless. They obliterate.
“Makngah sedih tengok adik-adik Makngah ni tak putus-putus merokok. Sebelum arwah Pakngah meninggal, dia kata dia menyesal. Dia menyesal sebab dia sakit macam ni. Menyesal sebab dia tak sempat nak besarkan anak-anak dia.”
My late Pakngah left us years ago, when my youngest cousin was of the wee ages of 5, if I’m not mistaken. He was too young to understand. My Makngah never remarried. I’m sure it broke her heart.
Don’t let this happen to your loved ones. Don’t start. Butt it. Don't puff it.
(of course don't butt it when there's nothing left of the stick. that would be pointless)
It breaks our hearts.
I wish you could just see where we are coming from.
fondue.
i feel like a tomato on a stick.
seriously.
//will update later if i have the time.
/// updated: okay, please make that a marshmallow on a stick. my only condolence. Abduls still loves me. Gah.
hmm. lembut bak bayi ;p
seriously.
//will update later if i have the time.
/// updated: okay, please make that a marshmallow on a stick. my only condolence. Abduls still loves me. Gah.
hmm. lembut bak bayi ;p
June 07, 2009
i am woman.
It’s an irritatingly hot Sunday and I decided not to leave the house for a myriad of reasons, other than the weather. Sorry, Mamita and Nanad! At first it was just my malas mandi, then, it was the period pain, and then, I sat up all day in bed, reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.
Now, if you’ve read the book, you’d know that it’s a total pageturner and a very worthy one at that! So, no one can blame me for not wanting to go out because the question of putting the book down never even crossed my mind.
Reading the book takes me back to the few long hours I spent at Abu Dhabi Airport late 2007. We were there waiting to board our plane to UK. It was a long wait, which would have made me tear my hair out of their sockets but it was okay since we were all sleepy and had managed to get some seats.
Now, since there were only 3 seats, my dad and brother took it upon themselves to go do something else which didn’t involve the act of sitting down since there weren’t enough seats and they obviously didn’t want the female in their family to be the ones standing.
In between waiting and trying to get some sleep, I observed alot of things about the men from the Middle East. How disgustingly high they regard their patriarchal roles and how wrong it was the way they seem to have implemented it on their womenfolk.
They let their women find seats, on which they sit on. Their wives would run and get them food and they receive it like some lord without so much of a word of Thank You, much less gratitude or even an appreciative glance. While all this is happening, they would be talking to the other men present with them, bellowing unnecessarily, with their protruding bellies and gatal looks they would cast on women other than their own wives.
And all the while, their wives stand idly beside them, fully covered in a burqa.
And oh, guess what? When they smoked, they let the cigarette smoke fly in the direction of their wives FACES as if their wives were just one and the same as the beautiful pillars which bore ashtrays in the Airport.
You see, men are undoubtedly granted with what Allah clearly mentioned are their rights to their wives. But what (some) men fail to see is that those rights come with responsibility. Oh, wait. It comes with RESPONSIBILITES, mind you.
And I know I sound very the feminist, and maybe I am. I strongly believe in the role of women in the society; of what they can and cannot do. But that does not make me radical at all because I still do believe in the traditional role of a mother, of a father, of a brother, as I have been brought up in a household which teaches these values.
Whatever it is, I hope that the men in Malaysia will not turn out to be the violent type who would make their wives eat pebbles just because the qurma served was lacking in salt. I know you have a right to demand that your wife serve you well, but you also have a (huge) responsibility of not hurting her and giving her a life which would not cause her mudarat.
Now, if you’ve read the book, you’d know that it’s a total pageturner and a very worthy one at that! So, no one can blame me for not wanting to go out because the question of putting the book down never even crossed my mind.
Reading the book takes me back to the few long hours I spent at Abu Dhabi Airport late 2007. We were there waiting to board our plane to UK. It was a long wait, which would have made me tear my hair out of their sockets but it was okay since we were all sleepy and had managed to get some seats.
Now, since there were only 3 seats, my dad and brother took it upon themselves to go do something else which didn’t involve the act of sitting down since there weren’t enough seats and they obviously didn’t want the female in their family to be the ones standing.
In between waiting and trying to get some sleep, I observed alot of things about the men from the Middle East. How disgustingly high they regard their patriarchal roles and how wrong it was the way they seem to have implemented it on their womenfolk.
They let their women find seats, on which they sit on. Their wives would run and get them food and they receive it like some lord without so much of a word of Thank You, much less gratitude or even an appreciative glance. While all this is happening, they would be talking to the other men present with them, bellowing unnecessarily, with their protruding bellies and gatal looks they would cast on women other than their own wives.
And all the while, their wives stand idly beside them, fully covered in a burqa.
And oh, guess what? When they smoked, they let the cigarette smoke fly in the direction of their wives FACES as if their wives were just one and the same as the beautiful pillars which bore ashtrays in the Airport.
You see, men are undoubtedly granted with what Allah clearly mentioned are their rights to their wives. But what (some) men fail to see is that those rights come with responsibility. Oh, wait. It comes with RESPONSIBILITES, mind you.
And I know I sound very the feminist, and maybe I am. I strongly believe in the role of women in the society; of what they can and cannot do. But that does not make me radical at all because I still do believe in the traditional role of a mother, of a father, of a brother, as I have been brought up in a household which teaches these values.
Whatever it is, I hope that the men in Malaysia will not turn out to be the violent type who would make their wives eat pebbles just because the qurma served was lacking in salt. I know you have a right to demand that your wife serve you well, but you also have a (huge) responsibility of not hurting her and giving her a life which would not cause her mudarat.
June 06, 2009
akibat melawan fitrah tidur apabila penat.
While coffee doesn’t really work in the mornings, it seems to work just fine at night. It’s starting to kick into my system, or maybe it already has. I haven’t been able to sleep. Someone just suggested that I switch this thing off. Maybe I will. Maybe after this.
During the course which I attended from Monday to Wednesday this week, we learnt some things about fitrah.
Manusia dilahirkan bersih. Tetapi, dengan setiap dosa yang manusia lakukan, satu titik hitam terlekat pada kebersihan tersebut. Bila seseorang itu tidak bertaubat maka titik hitam akan bertambah dan semakin lama, bersih tidak lagi bersih, kecuali jika orang tersebut mula bertaubat. Dengan setiap perlakuan taubat, hati menjadi bersih semula, sedikit demi sedikit.
Fitrah manusia memang sangat senang.
Babies la yang paling tak melanggar fitrah. Sakit, nangis. Lapar, minum susu. Sakit perut, berak. Bila dah dewasa, kita pandai melanggar fitrah. Sakit, tahan. Lapar, niat lah puasa terus kerana tak cukup duit nak makan pun. Sakit perut, kentut senyap-senyap dulu pastu tahan berak.
Babies juga menyayangi orang tanpa batas. Kalau awak semua perasan, jika seseorang budak kecil itu tidak dicondition oleh makpak dia untuk membenci seseorang, mereka menyayangi orang lain tanpa mengira colour kulit ataupun colour tudung dan brand baju. Paling banyak pun mereka takkan bercakap dengan kita. Itu pun sebab malu, bukan sebab benci.
Bila kita dah besar, kita pandai tak suka dengan orang. Kita mula untuk memberontak dan membalas dendam terhadap orang yang kita benci.
Semakin besar, semakin pandai kita melanggar fitrah.
Dah tiba masanya kita mula fikirkan kejadian kita dan fikir apa yang patut kita tahan dan apa yang patut kita lakukan. Mungkin dah tiba masanya untuk kurangkan sakit hati bila orang sakitkan hati kita. Sedangkan budak kecil pun tak balas dendam bila kena pukul tapak tangan bila naughty (atau mungkin takda peluang?), inikan kita dah berakal (hampir) sempurna.
Dan mungkin elok juga kita faham bahawa kita tak boleh gagal untuk faham bahawa cinta tidak boleh digenggam, kata Shanon Shah.
Love is not a feeling, it’s an ability. Let’s just love because we can.
Memang takda kena mengena langsung, saya tahu.
During the course which I attended from Monday to Wednesday this week, we learnt some things about fitrah.
Manusia dilahirkan bersih. Tetapi, dengan setiap dosa yang manusia lakukan, satu titik hitam terlekat pada kebersihan tersebut. Bila seseorang itu tidak bertaubat maka titik hitam akan bertambah dan semakin lama, bersih tidak lagi bersih, kecuali jika orang tersebut mula bertaubat. Dengan setiap perlakuan taubat, hati menjadi bersih semula, sedikit demi sedikit.
Fitrah manusia memang sangat senang.
Babies la yang paling tak melanggar fitrah. Sakit, nangis. Lapar, minum susu. Sakit perut, berak. Bila dah dewasa, kita pandai melanggar fitrah. Sakit, tahan. Lapar, niat lah puasa terus kerana tak cukup duit nak makan pun. Sakit perut, kentut senyap-senyap dulu pastu tahan berak.
Babies juga menyayangi orang tanpa batas. Kalau awak semua perasan, jika seseorang budak kecil itu tidak dicondition oleh makpak dia untuk membenci seseorang, mereka menyayangi orang lain tanpa mengira colour kulit ataupun colour tudung dan brand baju. Paling banyak pun mereka takkan bercakap dengan kita. Itu pun sebab malu, bukan sebab benci.
Bila kita dah besar, kita pandai tak suka dengan orang. Kita mula untuk memberontak dan membalas dendam terhadap orang yang kita benci.
Semakin besar, semakin pandai kita melanggar fitrah.
Dah tiba masanya kita mula fikirkan kejadian kita dan fikir apa yang patut kita tahan dan apa yang patut kita lakukan. Mungkin dah tiba masanya untuk kurangkan sakit hati bila orang sakitkan hati kita. Sedangkan budak kecil pun tak balas dendam bila kena pukul tapak tangan bila naughty (atau mungkin takda peluang?), inikan kita dah berakal (hampir) sempurna.
Dan mungkin elok juga kita faham bahawa kita tak boleh gagal untuk faham bahawa cinta tidak boleh digenggam, kata Shanon Shah.
Love is not a feeling, it’s an ability. Let’s just love because we can.
Memang takda kena mengena langsung, saya tahu.
June 04, 2009
define work for me.
Of frustrations with working life.
Since this blog is now on private mode, I think I can write more freely. I have (literally) a handful of readers, all of whom I trust, which is good. Sometimes, it kind of makes me (a little) sad that no one actually really misses this space now that it’s not for public consumption, but I guess that’s kind of normal. After all, we all seek for an audience at some point in our lives, don’t we? Maybe it’s better this way.
Well, anyways. Now that I’ve been working for a year, I guess the problems I face mostly revolve around the topic of work. I know it can be irritating, because work can’t be anything but boring, but we do have our moments. And some of them are better ones, really.
And right now, I’m in “frustrated” mood, much to my own chagrin since it really does consume alot of energy; all this frustration.
Sometimes, I wonder how people measure success and excellence in working life. There are many things which can pass off as work, especially in the Division I work in, but I see that most of the things I’ve been doing tidak disifatkan sebagai excellent. And no, I’m not being paranoid, it really is true. It shows, and it’s also spoken of.
So, what really is work? Are the things I’ve been doing being considered as work?
I define work as the things your bosses or superiors tell you to do from the most serious things such as preparing an opinion to the most menial tasks like photocopying stuff. Work is something which needs to be completed within a certain timeline and things which need to be done, because it just needs to be done or else. Or else numerous phone calls will ensue and lectures which last for hours on end.
Yes, that is work according to my eyes anyway.
For the past month, I have been working very hard. And I am not lying because alot of people can testify. I’ve been going to work at 6.40 a.m. every single day and reach home at 9-10 p.m. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I’m lucky I get home the same night even, because there was just too much to do in such a short span of time.
But now that all that has passed, I find myself being in trouble for the work I did. Which confuses me because I think I was diligently working my ass off last month.
And now, I’m in trouble for some of the work I didn’t do while I was concentrating on the other work. And I know you’re damn confused already, because so am I.
The best part is, most of them know. They know that we have not had enough time in our hands. We wish we did, but we don't. Only some privileged ones can make it at 7.30 a.m. and leave 4.30 p.m. on the dot EVERY SINGLE DAY. And still get their work, as in real work, done.
But they still make us do work, which I am beginning to not call work now. Why?
Since this blog is now on private mode, I think I can write more freely. I have (literally) a handful of readers, all of whom I trust, which is good. Sometimes, it kind of makes me (a little) sad that no one actually really misses this space now that it’s not for public consumption, but I guess that’s kind of normal. After all, we all seek for an audience at some point in our lives, don’t we? Maybe it’s better this way.
Well, anyways. Now that I’ve been working for a year, I guess the problems I face mostly revolve around the topic of work. I know it can be irritating, because work can’t be anything but boring, but we do have our moments. And some of them are better ones, really.
And right now, I’m in “frustrated” mood, much to my own chagrin since it really does consume alot of energy; all this frustration.
Sometimes, I wonder how people measure success and excellence in working life. There are many things which can pass off as work, especially in the Division I work in, but I see that most of the things I’ve been doing tidak disifatkan sebagai excellent. And no, I’m not being paranoid, it really is true. It shows, and it’s also spoken of.
So, what really is work? Are the things I’ve been doing being considered as work?
I define work as the things your bosses or superiors tell you to do from the most serious things such as preparing an opinion to the most menial tasks like photocopying stuff. Work is something which needs to be completed within a certain timeline and things which need to be done, because it just needs to be done or else. Or else numerous phone calls will ensue and lectures which last for hours on end.
Yes, that is work according to my eyes anyway.
For the past month, I have been working very hard. And I am not lying because alot of people can testify. I’ve been going to work at 6.40 a.m. every single day and reach home at 9-10 p.m. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I’m lucky I get home the same night even, because there was just too much to do in such a short span of time.
But now that all that has passed, I find myself being in trouble for the work I did. Which confuses me because I think I was diligently working my ass off last month.
And now, I’m in trouble for some of the work I didn’t do while I was concentrating on the other work. And I know you’re damn confused already, because so am I.
The best part is, most of them know. They know that we have not had enough time in our hands. We wish we did, but we don't. Only some privileged ones can make it at 7.30 a.m. and leave 4.30 p.m. on the dot EVERY SINGLE DAY. And still get their work, as in real work, done.
But they still make us do work, which I am beginning to not call work now. Why?
choose your evil.
Hari ini hari yang amat letih. Saya sangat penat dan otak saya sangat penat.
I noticed off late that I lack in interesting things to blog about. Not that anything was very interesting before, but now, it’s dwindling down to... nothing. I normally am this uncreative when I’m too happy, but likewise, my thoughts are a bit like a music piece full of staccatos in them when I’m all stressed up and tired.
For some unfathomable reason, since the current PM took the lead, I stopped reading the papers. Not that I stopped entirely, but well, it became significantly less than what I used to read.
I know it’s not good to not be in the know. After all, knowledge is power, undeniably.
But then, I guess at this stage, I’ve gotten bored of the same propaganda. I’ve gotten bored of the same dreams they put into our soft-shelled skulls; and the promises they make. I’ve gotten bored of the same one-sided semantics the newspapers use. Bored, just bored. Some people call it same old, same old. I call it susu basi.
The thing I’m bored of the most is the way we (Malaysians) wait and dote as if we’ve never seen and heard it all before. I’m surprised at how much attention we actually pay to the ideas they condition us to believe, no matter how blatant their lies are. There is such a thing called “please walk the talk”. I wish they just would.
I’m no supporter of either side of the world, no. I’m apolitical, and I wish to remain that way, not just because I’m supposed to, but also because I think there’s no point in taking sides. The other side is either the greater or lesser of the 2 (or more) evils.
Bottom line is that they’re all evil anyway.
I noticed off late that I lack in interesting things to blog about. Not that anything was very interesting before, but now, it’s dwindling down to... nothing. I normally am this uncreative when I’m too happy, but likewise, my thoughts are a bit like a music piece full of staccatos in them when I’m all stressed up and tired.
For some unfathomable reason, since the current PM took the lead, I stopped reading the papers. Not that I stopped entirely, but well, it became significantly less than what I used to read.
I know it’s not good to not be in the know. After all, knowledge is power, undeniably.
But then, I guess at this stage, I’ve gotten bored of the same propaganda. I’ve gotten bored of the same dreams they put into our soft-shelled skulls; and the promises they make. I’ve gotten bored of the same one-sided semantics the newspapers use. Bored, just bored. Some people call it same old, same old. I call it susu basi.
The thing I’m bored of the most is the way we (Malaysians) wait and dote as if we’ve never seen and heard it all before. I’m surprised at how much attention we actually pay to the ideas they condition us to believe, no matter how blatant their lies are. There is such a thing called “please walk the talk”. I wish they just would.
I’m no supporter of either side of the world, no. I’m apolitical, and I wish to remain that way, not just because I’m supposed to, but also because I think there’s no point in taking sides. The other side is either the greater or lesser of the 2 (or more) evils.
Bottom line is that they’re all evil anyway.
June 02, 2009
all freaked out.
I need a freaking damn break. I really do need a freaking damn break. I have been like a freaking road runner non-stop and no one seems to understand that. All this is really getting to my nose. I need a freaking break.
Even though I’m attending a supposedly interesting course, I feel like I’m treading on eggshells all the time because at any time, I might get a call from the office, telling me to come back to correct some freaking work which I should have been able to do, should I not have concentrated so much on the Conference which in the end cost us.
I don't juggle well anymore. I quit the circus a long time ago.
I need a break. I’ve got too much negative running through my veins it’s making me sick.
More than anything, Ya Allah, makbulkanlah doa hambamu yang lemah ini. Please...
Even though I’m attending a supposedly interesting course, I feel like I’m treading on eggshells all the time because at any time, I might get a call from the office, telling me to come back to correct some freaking work which I should have been able to do, should I not have concentrated so much on the Conference which in the end cost us.
I don't juggle well anymore. I quit the circus a long time ago.
I need a break. I’ve got too much negative running through my veins it’s making me sick.
More than anything, Ya Allah, makbulkanlah doa hambamu yang lemah ini. Please...
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