May 25, 2011

(another) peep show

I took a long time to make this decision.

I don’t know why.

But now that I’ve rationalized matters, I’ve decided that I can do without.

Remember last time I blogged about the perfect shoe? And then, I dreamt and dreamt of a Stuart Weitzman but knew that I could never afford it and well, basically, I love peep toe shoes. I still do love it a lot. And then, wallah.

Sometime end of last year, just about 2 weeks before I got married, I went for some retail therapy. Bought 3 shoes in one row and one of them is this simple (yet gorgeous) pair of shoes.


Told my husband (then fiancé) about it and he asked me what I planned on doing with the wedding shoes he bought me. That really put me on a crossroads sebab orang dah belikan kasut, kau beli kasut lain kenapa? If I were him, I’d be pissed off too.

So, I tried both shoes on and decided that they both looked nice with my nikah attire but in the end I decided on the shoes Encik bought for me.

Since then, I have been peeping every now and then into my Primavera box, wondering when I would be wearing this dainty pair of shoes. Given to the fact that I am a tad bit lasak, I know that wearing white shoes for daily use is never a good idea.

Let’s cut to the chase.

After peeking into the box so many times and still not wearing the shoe, I have decided to let it go. I bought it at RM109.00 and have never worn it (apart from those times I tried them on at home). I’m letting it go for RM80 which I think is a STEAL!!!!


It’s a blank piece of canvas and you can make it more festive by sewing beads of your desired colour (which I initially planned on doing) or add blings or brooches or crystals. The sky is the limit with this shoe and I would be euphoric if you would be so nice to make it part of your special day.

It’s in size 6 and in perfect condition. Tiada cacat cela, tapak masih baru. Tidak kotor and approximately 2 ½ inches, maybe (inches dia I am not very sure)? Tak tinggi sangat and memang sesuai untuk nikah, I think ;)

Even if you don’t want to use it for your upcoming big day, perhaps you are less lasak than I am and you’d like to make it yours? If you like it, then, make it yours today!

Preferably, I’d appreciate COD, but if you want it posted, I’ll see what I can do ;).

PM me at haneesasalehin@yahoo.com if you are interested okay?

We’ll take it from there.

Kalau takda siapa berminat, nampaknya I was meant to keep it after all?

Haha.But please, don't hesitate to contact me if you are interested :)


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May 24, 2011

Rumahku Syurgaku.

What is the criteria of a home?

For me personally, it is some place you want to go back to at the end of the day.

It doesn’t matter if it’s because of the house itself or the people in it; bottom line is that you must have a desire to head back to it.

We’ve been staying in the same place since after my Reception. I’ve wanted to go back to that place every day after a long, short, nice or bad day. I love being home. I love staying in it and I want to come back to it every day.

But I’ve got to face the fact that it isn’t mine. We’re paying to stay in it and in time, we’ll be paying more but it still wouldn’t be ours. And we will never get the option to make it ours. And being me, well, I can’t help but become more and more attached to it, despite knowing the fact that it’s not mine.

So, before it becomes more heartbreaking to leave, we have been searching high and low for a place to call our own. Some other place we could call home. For good. Not just for now.

There are many options – which to be honest is surprising. I always thought that there are only a handful of townships, which are worth considering, but really, there are many other beautiful areas, which are totally livable in.

We’re neither eligible for My First Home Scheme nor the Government loan (yet) because we are not confirmed in our posts. There is, at the moment, an undoubtedly huge desire to own our own place. But the biggest problem right now is the undesirable price tags attached to those houses.

Nothing can be bought with a single loan. And even with a joint loan, our finances are stretched to a maximum and we don’t even have kids yet.

And it’s frustrating. More that you can imagine, actually. It’s gotten to a point where we’re both close to giving up but we’re still constantly searching.

It has become a love-hate relationship.

The price of houses has spiked to an unrealistic high. I don’t think we are looking at the wrong places as we have eliminated the more elite areas like TTDI, Damansara, PJ and the likes. The closest to KL that we have even bothered considering is Puchong. And even so, the prices are still… ridiculous.

One of the places which we have also (always) considered is Putrajaya. It’s actually a really nice place to stay in. Yes, I know that it is hujung dunia. Yes, I know that there is no one else here apart from Government Servants. Yes, I know that it’s like a dead town at night.

But there are easy accesses to other places like Seri Kembangan and even Puchong should you decide not to head to Alamanda. The place is quiet at night and the biggest plus point is that traffic (apart from at Parcel C, D, E in the mornings only) is unheard of. It’s totally bliss if you compare it to the madness of KL traffic.

We’ve always considered Putrajaya. But the problem is? The price tag. Again.

I don’t see the point of selling houses in a place with an abundant of Government Servants when the Government Servants themselves can’t afford them. Not with one loan. Not with 2. Perhaps not even with a lifetime of savings (if you ever consider buying those gorgeous houses by the lake at Presint 18).

With that obstacle, we decided that some other areas in the vicinity would we OK. And there have been OK choices, but the closest to cheap that we’ve ever come across is probably RM450K non-negotiable? We can pay for the monthly installments and the downpayment is not something which is totally unsolvable but how on earth are we supposed to survive on our monthly pay.

Yes, our pay may increase in the future and by then, we’ll be fine, but how long more ‘til the future comes?

Some said it’s high time that the Government Servants get a pay rise. I say I agree although some people’s pay rise would be unjustified, seeing that the amount of work they do is actually… NOTHING.

But according to Mama, Government Servants’ pay rise is always indication that the price of everything will rise accordingly. Property not excluded.

And that brings us back to?

SQUARE ONE, THAT’S WHERE.

So, you see. It is frustrating. I don’t know how else I could express how frustrating it is and how frustrating it’s going to be. It’s just so frustrating. Period.





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May 19, 2011

please stay on the menu.

Pernah tak rasa bosan gila with your own cooking? Rasa macam dah try semua recipe dalam kepala and dah retry again and then, dah tak tau nak masak apa lagi. Pastu dah cuba buat sambal tapi setiap kali, tak rasa macam Mama punya pun? And now, walaupun setiap hari rasa macam tau nak masak apa sebenarnya, rasa macam taknak masak apa-apa.

Confusing kan?

I remember Monday haritu, when we came back from Melaka, I told Encik Husband that I want to go out for dinner sebab dah lambat nak keluarkan lauk. So, nanti lambat makan dinner. Buat alasan memang hebat sangat tapi malas punya pasal kita kena berani tegakkan benang yang basah.

Turns out bukan benang saja yang basah, basement parking pun basah, open parking tak payah nak mention anda pun tahu dia basah.

I was thinking, eh nasib baik tutup modem sebelum pergi Melaka kalau tak balik takde internet nanti laki bini dua-dua kena internet withdrawal syndrome nak buat apa? (padahal kalau internet withdrawal bagus jugak, dapat mop rumah ke, vacuum lantai ke, cuci toilet ke apa-apa). ANYWAYS.

Berbalik kepada cerita benang basah. Rupanya, basement basah itu adalah indication that peti electric kat apartment pun dah kena tembak dek petir. Puas la laki bini dua orang ni tekan butang lift padahal dah nampak orang TNB dekat tepi peti electric tu =.=" . Tak tahu la kenapa blur sangat labu.

Lepas dah terjaga dari lamunan, kami pun race naik tangga. Every time sampai kat landing setiap floor, I would boast to Encik Husband sebab dia lemb… I mean, lambat sangat (padahal saya lari tangan kosong dia kena angkat luggage bag memang la lambat ahahahaha). Sekali, dah sampai 5th floor, husband dah catch up dah pun sebab kaki dia panjang =.="

Eh, nak cerita pasal benang basah kan? Tadi kan ada orang TNB kat bawah, dah sure la satu block takda electric kan? Mati la lauk dalam fridge ada banyak macam mana ni??? Nak taknak, mesti kena masak semua lepas tu, kena bekukan lauk-lauk untuk kegunaan masa depan.

OMAIGOD.

Malas sangat nak masak. Malas gila. Sampai je rumah, I went to the freezer and saw that eleh, baru je ni takde electric, beku je lagi ayam, so tunggu la sekejap lagi baru fikir apa nak masak (padahal hati meronta-ronta taknak masak). Dahlah internet tak boleh pakai. Wa depressed wa cakap sama luuuu.

Sementara nak fikir nak masak apa, sempat malas-malas dekat atas sofa bed. All the time praying tolonglah datang balik electric. Padahal hari hujan tidur takda kipas pun Aiman tak kisah (tapi saya kesah sebab saya bukan Aiman). Encik Husband dah risau nanti makanan tu busuk la sayang cepat la masak. Padahal dia suka makan kat rumah. Hahahaha. Saya pun terus baring di sofa bed buat muka kesian tapi tahu that kalau lama je sikit, dah kena masak semua lauk sebab kan dah beli pakai duit gaji itu hari. Membazir amalan Syaitan. Tiba-tiba.

Sekali, kipas pun mula pusing and lampu menyala-nyala. Encik Husband happy gila sebab dia boleh teruskan aktiviti Piratebay dia, tapi the first thing that came out of my mouth masa electric datang balik was,


“ALHAMDULILLAH, KITA BOLEH MAKAN PIZZA MALAM NI!”

OMAIGOD.

Pizza tu memang SEDAP. GILA. NAK. MAMPUS. Tak pernah rasa nikmat makan pizza sebegitu rupa. At first masa sampai Alamanda, dah confuse nak makan apa; TGI ke (berlagak sekarang dah ada kat Putrajaya! Tak la kampung sangat), Chicken Rice Shop ke, Burger King ke, Sushi ke. Padahal dekat rumah tadi sambil mandi pun nyanyi lagu Pizza Hut (chup, Pizza ada lagu ke?) Eheh.

Nasib baik makan Pizza. Sampai sekarang terasa sedapnya.

Mana lagi pizza yang sedap? Siapa pernah makan Papa John? Kalau compare dengan Pizza Hut and Dominos siapa lagi sedap?

Sila jangan jawab Shakey’s sebab dia dah takda.

Kesimpulannya, orang yang masak akan muak dengan masakan sendiri and Pizza Hut sangat sedap. Sekian, terima kasih.

And I want this pizza to stay on the menu sebab dia sedap. Okay, tak tahu berapa kali dah sebut sedap. Bai.


sedapnya *droool*
BIG SHOT CHEESY POPS. YES, I WAS WOWED.


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like losing a limb.



It was previously difficult to understand why my married friends “disappeared” after their wedding. I always thought that I would try not to but… seeing that I “disappeared” every now and then even before I was married, I guess me not appearing where others appeared isn’t such an extraordinary feat.


My appearance where others appeared – now, that should make the headlines.


With time, marriage gets better. If previously, I answered, So far so good, now, if people ask me, “How’s married life so far?” I would answer, “GREAT!” without a second’s doubt.


My disappearance, believe or not, has nothing to do with my husband not giving me permission to go out or anything to that effect. It actually has a lot to do with the fact that I am still adjusting to this new life.


Having stayed with my parents for so long, I had to get used to the fact that food wouldn’t be served on the table when I got home from work. Breakfast and dinner were on me and the last thing I want to do is to starve my husband. I had to wrap my mind around the fact that Lani (our weekly helper in TTDI) wouldn’t be around to iron my clothes and now, not only did I have to do the ironing myself; I had 2 sets of clothes to iron for the whole week! I also had to get used to the fact that well, there is no end to this thing we name “housework”. Now, let’s not even get started about how annoying dust and falling hair can be.


And all this even with my husband helping around and with him not minding what I put on the table, okay?


I have no clear schedule as to when I should iron and when I should mop and when I should fold because my work schedule varies every week, so when my weekdays get rough, I do them during the weekends. And some weekends we are at my parents’, some at his, some alone and some spent at events. So sometimes, just the night before Monday/working day, I am seen doing more housework when all I really want (read: need) is some rest.


After a while, everyone becomes very demanding and my time becomes more precious than gold and when it’s just too much to take, I snap. After all, there are only 4 weekends in a month and there is only so much a girl can do to make everyone happy. She’s got to make a point to make herself happy too.


And I still have the nerve to say that being married is great?


After being married for this short while, I came to realise that I was lucky to have married my friend. I realised that even though I miss my other friends a lot, I am still okay because I have this friend by my side, all the time. I can’t imagine marrying someone whom I can’t talk about silly stuff to, who I can’t tell of my office antics to, who I can’t make silly jokes with and most importantly, I can discuss with this man about the more serious things in life with.


I can’t imagine having a husband who expects me to be all “wifey” all the time without seeing me as the person I really am. And when I need more girly advice I turn to my sister and my life is complete.


So, yes. Perhaps my daily routine and social life has changed dramatically since I married. I have perhaps become (to some) “unhappening” and boring, antisocial perhaps even hormonal and snappy. I haven’t seen many people since we got married and to be honest, we have been pretty selective about which events to attend, not because we want to, but it has become a necessary evil in order to keep ourselves sane.


I hope I haven’t talked anyone out of marrying because that wasn’t my point. My only point is that for some, the reality of married life is that the transition from being single to married isn’t as “easy” as you want it to be. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with the husband being the perfect tyrant but more of the wife’s goal to become a perfect wife. And trust me, I am not even close to being perfect and don’t think I will achieve even if I die trying.


Be that as it may, life has been good. Laughter remains abundant and there are rainbows despite the storms.


It's true that you tend to lose many things when you get married. Sometimes, you even lose connection with the life you once had and it upsets you because you thought that the "balancing act" wouldn't be take a toll on you. But it does. And it's real.


But be that as it may, you also gain many things. You gain a few good friends whom you can rely on and cherish wholeheartedly. You appreciate your time with your loved ones because you no longer see them everyday. You learn the art of communication from all the arguments you go through. You learn to cook well and learn to prioritise. You learn that in the end, you gain as much as you lose.


If you were to ask me honestly, what do I liken married life to, I would say,


“As cliché as it sounds, it's like finding a part of you you never knew you had. And now that you've found it, losing it would be like ripping a limb from your body"


So, despite everything I said, I do think that a marriage is an institution worth working on. Even if it takes a lifetime to do it. Totally worth every single second spent.


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May 09, 2011

you make me want to say i do.

I’m sure we all have love songs of our own. At least one that transports us back to the first date, first year, first dedicated song, first something. Mine and his is a song which I don’t feel like sharing because I know that (so far) no one shares it with us and for some (selfish) reason, I want to keep it that way.

Naturally, when I was preparing my wedding last year, I wanted that song to be part of my wedding. After much persuasion, I finally managed to persuade my parents that it was an acoustic version of the rock song and yes, it is very romantic, and yes, if I couldn’t have any of my songs played, I would want at least that song to be played. Haha. It was quite dramatic, I must say because I got so emotional when they didn’t want to play that song. Haish.

Anyways, I got things to go my way and I was the happiest girl that day.

But just a couple of months after I got married, I noticed that a lot of other songs were aired on the radio.

Here’s a list of my favourites. There aren’t that many on my list but they are really, really nice (to me at least)

  1. Bruno Mars – Marry You (very cute)
  2. Train – Marry Me (super sweet)
  3. Colbie Caillat – I do (MY FAVOURITE!!!)

And now, I’m thinking, “why didn’t they come out last year???” I won’t ask myself why I got married so early because I love being married (tihihihih). If only my favourite song above was aired earlier, I would have persuaded Babah to let me dance with my husband during my reception. Lagu itu terlalu comel, don’t you think so?

Now that my wedding reception is done and we’ve been married for 4 months, there’s no point wishing for something which cannot be done, right?

So… that means that I’m left only one option, to make myself happier, which is to share them (just in case you're not sure where to download though most people know, I know). Do you want them to be part of you song list? And I've got some other love songs as well (and I particularly love those from the OST of PS I Love You), actually. If you want them, just let me know and I’ll email them to you for free.

"I do" by Colbie Caillat makes me so happy to the point of making me super generous. Ehehe.

On another note, I will post a photo about one of the wedding gifts we received, which makes me deliriously happy, it’s ridiculous.


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May 05, 2011

my calling

I didn’t always know that I wanted to work in the legal field. All I did was depend on my SPM results and tried to choose a Course, which I thought I would excel at. My top 3 choices in no particular order were English, Law and Tourism Management (random, I know) (!!!).

When I first got my offer letter, the University offered me the Tourism Management Course (“TMC”). After a long and hard discussion with my parents, we all decided that it probably wouldn’t be such a good idea for me to enroll into the TMC since the career path and development (at least at that point in time) wasn’t so clear. At least not as clear as the Legal Field was.

So, my father fought tooth and nail to get me a spot in the Law Faculty. Some people even questioned him of my capabilities to cope with the tight schedule and tough subjects. He gave them a piece of his mind and told them not to undermine me even before I tried.

And so, began my journey as a Law Student.

Surprisingly, I did quite well as a Law Student. I don’t know how I did it (though I must say that I worked very, very hard) and suddenly being a Law Student seemed like the “right” thing to do. That was until I was in the final semester of my final year, where I just lost all motivation.

Of course, with the lack of motivation came the occasional “failures” and with that came a decline in my self-esteem. I didn’t graduate happily but I still graduated with a good Law Degree.

But since then, I simply let life take its course and decided that if something were good for me, I would know it. I don’t think I have put that much reliance on fate per se for anything.

Once upon a time ago, I wrote about the Purple Dilemma. Back then, I was so focused on hating my job that waking up for work was in itself a painful chore to endure.

3 years later, I am still working at the same place in the same field.

Many things have changed since, but there are times when I feel like I need to or that I should have taken the bull by its horns, earlier. I’m not saying that I regret my decision to grab the first job that crossed my path because I think a lot of graduates do that – they secure a job first and see if they like it. If they don’t, the leave.

My only regret is that I failed to bring my good work culture and attitude during the 5-year Law Course I had to endure into the actual playing field and took the backseat for much too long, only to realise that it is to my own detriment.

Sometimes I loathe myself for not being able to work on the things I hate and for seeing those things as an obstacle rather than a positive challenge.

I have come to realise that it is no longer the people or the place that’s bugging the living daylights out of me, but more of my own negative attitude towards my job that's causing me this unnecessary unease. In this regard, the law of attraction really has worked (though sadly, to my disadvantage), much as I don’t believe in it.

Point is that I am currently floating mindlessly through this stretch in my life although the situation now as compared to the first day I came into office has greatly improved. I am better acknowledged and people “use” me for what I am good at, which I love. Because it means that to a certain degree, I am working my way towards being indispensible. I’m not there yet, but I’m trying to get there.

I’m not sure why I wrote this but it is perhaps a mere reminder to myself that things could be worse than this and that if I hadn’t taken this path, I would probably still be depending on my parents or husband for financial support. God Forbid.

I wouldn’t trade financial independence for anything in this world, no matter how much people say, “money can’t buy happiness”, which to a certain extent is true but at least money can buy shoes and ice-cream so I think that should suffice for now, right?

Point is that I am trying my best to relearn and re-love my job though I admit that at times I wonder too, what it is that I am doing sitting behind the PC while the whole Department thinks that my job is of no relevance or significance seeing that all I do is sit behind the PC, right?

At times like these, I can’t help but wonder if the grass is greener on the other side?

Whichever side, I still can’t decide.

Sometimes, I wonder if I would have made a better English teacher, baker or anything else but a lawyer.


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May 03, 2011

apron.

Bored of my own honeymoon reviews, actually, but I will finish off the last day and a few other things I noted some time soon.

After reading through an agreement twice and realizing that I couldn’t get past clause 5 without my tummy crooning for attention (at least 3 times in 2 minutes, yes), I think I should take a breather. Agreements are making me hungry, no joke.

House warmings, kenduri doa selamat. Same old, same old.

Ever since I moved in with my husband after my reception, the question of “When’s your housewarming?immediately flooded us. Being me, I told them not to expect any kind of housewarming any time before May. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t want guests immediately after we moved in together, but I was just being realistic.

After hanging my apron for so long while I stayed in TTDI with my mom, I wasn’t going to pressurize myself into cooking up a feast when I wasn’t ready. Plus, with such sparse furniture and all else in the house, hosting a party of any sort wasn’t something I was particularly thrilled about. Plus, I’m not exactly masterful in “hostessing”. Far from it, I’m actually a noob.

It’s May now but we still haven’t hosted any kind of anything yet (whatever name you may want to call it) at our place. You may call us antisocial if you want, but with our current circumstances, where either one or both of us are away during weekdays leading to weekends sometimes, our weekends are super precious to the point that all we want to do is stay home, covered under our duvet and watch Maharaja Lawak. Plus what would a home be if it were a wreck-sty (shipwreck + pigsty) right? So weekends are also spent spring cleaning.

But, having said that, it doesn’t mean that we don’t welcome guests. It’s just that sometimes, you’ve got to invite yourselves over and then, I’ll (gladly) force myself into the kitchen to cook anything I think I am good at cooking as my welcome gift to you.

For example, one day, my husband called me up and told me that our friends wanted to come over to give our wedding gift. Yes, we still do receive wedding gifts at 4 months old (young?) (Oh, yes, aren’t we lucky?) with the condition that dinner would be on them (our guests).

So, I told my husband I was okay with that and hung up. 

But soon after, I realised, “What kind of a hostess would I be if I allowed myself to be “King” and let my guests bring me my dinner?” How hard could it be anyways? It's not that I don't cook on almost a daily basis.

So, so as not to add to my noobness of being a hostess, I cooked up a recipe in my head. I knew that it had to be something, which I had made before, and it had to be something I could make in 2 hours, tops.


So, bihun hailam it was.

I actually really enjoyed myself that Friday afternoon during lunch. Though, I’ve got to say that 5 sips later, I wasn’t so sure anymore that my guests would like what I they tasted. Suffice to say, I was a ball of nerves.

Plus… well, if you’ve been following, you’d know how overzealous I can get with portions. The husband came to the kitchen later that evening after work when I was preparing the food and didn’t even bother to keep his thoughts to himself,

Awak, kita makan 4 orang aje tau? Bukan lapan belas! Plus they are also bringing food!

To which I replied,

Okay, but I CAN’T HELP IT!!!

Of course, even though he mocked me with the whole “I can’t help it” thing, he was still happy I cooked. Hehe.

It ended up being a really, really good night. Despite the (still) sparse furniture and well, not really excellent cooking.

So, my point is that I may not (or probably never will) have a proper house warming. But that doesn’t make me a cold person or that you are not welcome over. Come over anytime you want with ample notice, of course (but please be considerate, lil’ lady finishes work late sometimes hehe) and I’d try my best to make you feel at home.

Maybe if you’re lucky, whoever our next guests are, I’ll make what I’m really good at – brownies.

For now, I’ll stick to cooking rice and lauk-lauk simple for my husband’s dinner. He’s the toughest guest to please (so far)! Hehe.


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