March 31, 2010

endorphins


When times are tough, it's always nice to know that you've got endorphins to perk you up.
And I'm lucky because I was given the oppportunity to (finally!) taste that yummy gooey chocolate cake everyone has been talking about.

I first ordered this for Nadnad's Bachelorette. At first, I wanted to order from Wondermilk since they are so cute and everything, but I personally don't fancy too much buttercream (and obviously) a HUGE fan of chocolate, so I looked this lady up.


 (at this time dah habis so many pieces dah. heeee)

I've always believed that mommies are magical in their own ways. And since this lady is a mother herself, my gut told me that nothing can go wrong with her chocolate cake. Not only is the cake reasonably priced, it also looks soooo, soooo good in pictures.

 And I was right. I haven't heard the last of that cake since Nadnad's Bachelorette alright!

And yesterday, Nadnad was kind enough to give me some! Yeayness! That was the ultimate cure to my day, I tell you. It's seriously, seriously, seriously sedap! Even endorsed by Master Chef K (my mom, who also bakes), so you've got to believe it!



See, even the tupperware is smiling because it contains good food inside. So, apa lagi! Call this lady up and get your piece of cake today!

Remember, the next time you decide to order something, always, always look for home-based businesses operated by mommies. Works like magic.

On the same note, dinner last night was somewhat amazing. Although Mama just made her nasi goreng special, simple sambal udang, fried some eggs and nuggets, we were eating like hungry piranhas! Kan dah cakap, mommies memang magic :) (walaupun kadang-kadang gerammmm sangat rasa nak marah) Heee

And now, off to work I go.

One more day to futsal. And 2 days to my weekend. Happiness!






Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

March 30, 2010

masuk kasut dalam boot.

I don't hold grudges; I just tend to remember things I cannot forget. 
- Haneesa


With me, be careful what you say. I don't only listen. I also remember.

On an unrelated albeit happier note, mari pack bag futsal. Although it's on Thursday, which is 2 days away.

MUSTNOTFORGETSHOESMUSTNOTFORGETSHOES MUSTNOTFORGETSHOESMUSTNOTFORGETSHOES
 MUSTNOTFORGETSHOES
MUST
NOT
FORGET
 SHOES.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

March 29, 2010

all by myself.

Yesterday, I felt like I wanted to be alone. I have not spent a quiet weekend with myself in the longest time. It's always about someone else's event, or someone else's needs that I need to attend to. Though I have my own things to do, I put everything on hold because I care enough to stop in my tracks for the people I love and care about. 

And where work is concerned, most of the time, I don't really have that much of a choice. Sometimes, I am surrounded by inefficient and ineffective people who affect me in so many ways that I can't be bothered explaining how pissed I am anymore. 

As selfish as it sounds, I am in dire need of some time alone. I've got to stop putting other people before me too much. I've got to stop being so selfless.I've got to quit being myself for a while.

Not that I enjoy being a loner so much or that loneliness is my bestfriend or anything. But I just need that "session" or slot, where I can pluck my earphones into my ears and take a long walk, hike whatever you might call it in the park or on Broga Hill or anywhere which allows me to sweat and think, simultaneously. I'd also like to take better photos. My unhappiness is affecting my want and ability to capture moments. I just can't be bothered anymore.

And though I anticipate this week to be a long week because of reasons which shall not be disclosed, I WILL take off on Friday, AS PLANNED. If no one has the time to look into the things I want, I'll do it myself.

Til Friday. Pray me a good week.








Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

March 26, 2010

it's okay, but only if.

I'll be okay if all this happens and it's not a Friday. But today is Friday and I'm beyond pissed off.
Cancelled Friday Lunch Date for me.
A long evening at work for me when I already have other plans for later.
I have not met him for a week.
I have no mood to eat nor to do anything.
And I'm annoyed that some people find it sooo difficult to reply their emails. Especially when people are trying to give them business. Lupa customer service agaknya memandangkan dah popular sangat.

See? I'm being angry for no reason.



Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

March 25, 2010

While I'm waiting.

I am currently waiting for one of the Legal Advisers of a particular Department to arrive. Jam 10 kata dia. Sekarang dah jam 10.15. Takpa, jangan buruk sangka. Mungkin susah nak dapat parking

I have been watching way too many cooking shows of late. It's making me crazy; the fact that my job is not like that and that I don't really have the time to really experiment on new dishes as and when I please. I love watching programs like Chef at Home, The Iron Chef, Nigella and King of Grill, not only because their food look super tasty, but also because they dish out food tips and secrets all the time. 

Like how I found out that there are different types of potatoes for diffrent potato dishes and that vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice. I know, pelik right? I didn't even know that vanilla is a spice. And of course I can't remember all the tips off the hook now, but it makes cooking seem alot more interesting than it already is.

I don't know what's up with our cooks though. Proud as I am that they have made their way into AFC, it's still a tad embarassing how sophisticated and matured others can be while our chefs look like all they're really into are the 15 minutes of fame they are granted. But I may be too hard on them. Maybe. I still think we need to increase our general knowledge on food, culture and all things related though. It's nice to have a knowledgeable host on the TV.

Anyways, the Legal Adviser is here. Panjang umur dia. 


Smarties, masih baca tak blog saya? 







Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

March 23, 2010

perisa apa?

Precisely.

Actually, I did this quiz to see what my favourite  ice cream flavour indicates about my personality. So, I Googled. After quizzing myself for a few short minutes, I came out with the above results. Turns out that my personality is tied up with my favourite ice cream.

I was actually asked about my personality; some questions about what I liked and how I liked things to be instead of me telling them my favourite flavour and them telling me what my personality is.! And then, they told me that I was Butter Pecan! Ahh! Precisely. Sungguh pandai! Because that is my most favourite ice cream.

So, I'm tagging whoever is reading this: Try out this quiz. It'll only take a few minutes, I promise. Only 12 questions and then, you'll know what's your flavour.

Though I am mostly Butter Pecan, I am also made out of Choco Chip, Strawberry, Chocolate and Vanilla, each making up 11.1% of my personality :)

But I'm still quite pleased to be Butter Pecan. Because I like Butterscotch and Pecan cookies, Butter Pecan ice cream, Pecan cupcakes and all else pecan. Mana nak dapat Pecan Pie? Nak rasa pulak.

So anyways, go! Try!

It would be nice if you could buzz me and share your results as well :)





Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

oh, nyum.


I really wanted cupcakes yesterday evening. I knew that if I didn't go and get them, I would die of salivation. Oh, the drama, I know. But it's true. I couldn't help myself. All the way when I was stuck in the traffic, all I could think of were the cupcakes. And ironically, though I make them myself, I have never really been a fan of buttercream. So, when I say that I HAVE to have it. I just HAD to get it. Yeap, you get it, I know. 

Parked my car at Petronas. I couldn't be bothered to find a parking spot at The Curve or Tesco because I was just going to be a minute. I knew it. I just needed to go there and smell the cupcakes. I could even change my mind once I reached the shop. But having gone through all that crazy Mutiara traffic, I wasn't about to go home empty-handed.

And so, I ran. Sort of. I couldn't help myself. It's like the cupcakes were calling me non-stop and I didn't care how I was going to get there. All I knew was that I would get them no matter what. And guess what? All the way, I was running in these:


Ahahaha. Tell me I'm crazy even though I'm not.

And when I finally reached the counter, the cashier was trying to lure me into buying 6 cupcakes. I only needed one. But I wanted two. And now, this guy here is telling me to get 6? I was really considering. Thought that maybe this morning I could do a round of  "Father Christmas Activities". Maybe give 1 to Nadnad. One to Navee. One to Ira. One to Sya. Oh, I was just too tempted.

But I had enough sense to get only 2. Sorry, harapan palsu ;p

And finally, after driving home in topmost speed, I present to thee:


My treasured possessions. 

Oh, puas sangat hati! Now, all I need are:

  • smoked mackerel. is anyone going to the UK? can you please get me these at Sainsbury's or Tesco or wherever? or are they here in Malaysia?
  • sesame bagels from M&S. are they here in Malaysia? because I sort of need them at the moment. 

Actually, I thought of more in the car on the way to work. But they seem to have slipped my mind. Will update more later, I guess. Go get your cupcakes! They are worth every single step you take.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

March 22, 2010

clean slate.

It's Monday and no, I am not feeling lazy, down or on the Blues Bandwagon with the rest of the world. In fact, I'm pretty psyched about nothing. I am determined to make this week work wonders for me. And that began with me giving myself a good treat during lunch. I got myself a Trophy (ice cream) and you have no idea how good it felt like to sink my teeth into that sweet vanilla and chocolate.

It's the 22nd of March and in 9 days, this month will end. This month has been hectic for me and there are no signs that it will slow down. There are so many things that I need to do but I just don't feel like doing them all in this month, get it? It's a little bit silly, I know. To procrastinate is in itself a silly thing to do; what more to procrastinate and to carry everything forward to the next month when they could very well be over and done with like now.

But I cannot help it. I somehow feel like I have set this month aside for certain things and I am currenly content to leave it at it's status quo. So, whatever is there for me to do will be done next month. I know that 9 days is such a waste of time. Time waits for no one. A minute will make a difference to your decisions. But I need to slow down somehow. This fast pace is not doing me any good.

Most importantly, I need to begin on a clean slate. Because I have a good feeling that next month would somehow or rather be better.

It's a sleepy afternoon and I've got the thickest document on my table for me to vet. I've started a bit and I'm starting to feel annoyed by the bad use of language. My English is not perfect, no, but to have so many mistakes like "the followings" (when it should be "the following"), "shall means" (shall mean) and "upon requested" (when it should be "upon request") is just making my blood go upstairs. Haish.

Probably, it's time for me to get some cupcakes. What's up with me and sweet things? Tsk.

I would really like to get my dose of happy today, but he seems so busy. And I'm busy too.

April, come quick. I need the clean slate.


Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

March 21, 2010

good good

// edited with photos

I had a really good weekend if I subtract Friday out of the equation. Shall elaborate on Friday later I guess.

Anyways, Saturday was great because I got to meet my cousins. Though we just met a few weeks ago at Fah's place, at that time, it just wasn't enough! There were too many stories being crammed in at once. Plus there was Baby Aisy so all the attention automatically went to him. Attention which we of course willingly gave :)


So, last night was pretty amazing for us cousins. Not only did we get to camwhore like crazy, we also managed to include a few impromptu singing sessions (of which they recorded and I hope they will not post) and it was all good. The one setback from last night is that Becky disappeared without a trace. It was sooo shocking and sad and disappointing because we know that she wouldn't miss it for the world. No one gave us a proper answer when asked so I think you owe us an explanation Becks! Are you okay??

Anyways, last night was one of the longest periods our mummies chit-chatted with each other. Normally they would be done by 10+ but last night, we all went back home close to midnight. All the girls had already dozed off in Na's room. That was the first time we were really happy to be called home.

*****

I spent this morning with Adik at OU. Since she has pretty much everything, I couldn't figure out what a girl like her would need for her birthday, so I figured that the best gift I could give her was a lil' treat at Delicious.


We really ate alright! Okay, maybe I ate more, but it was all in good fun!The food was good as usual and this time around, I did not get all adventurous and ordered a proper hearty normal breakfast! No more chocolate brioche or mascarpone for me this time round thank you.

Since we were pressed for time (Adik had to go back to school), we couldn't do much anyways. But before we went back, we managed to get a round of camwhoring at Dream World (sticky photos).

I have not done that for the longest time I tell you! It was sooooo much fun that we didn't really want to stop if there was no limit and if we didn't receive a message from Mama telling us not to be too late.


Anyways, though I like dresses, I am definitely not a tube dress girl. So, when a friend got me a tube dress for my birthday, I was torn. I mean, the dress is nice and everything, but I just couldn't see myself wearing it. I don't even own a tube, what more a tube dress. So, I improvised. But my internet is giving me a hard time so I can't post any photos right now.

*Sigh*

Tomorrow's a working day. And I'm annoyed by this tiny keyboard on which I currently have to work on. Left my cable at the office. So, I have to use my dad's.

Tomorrow's a Monday. *Cry*

March 20, 2010

last night.

Last night was one of the happiest nights of my working life. Yet, last night was one of the saddest ones too. I felt like I let my team down. Even if I was not the one who let them down. There were certain unavoidable surrounding circumstances which were... unavoidable I guess? Although we knew at some point that nothing we do would ever be good enough, last night, we knew we deserved the recognition. That's the least they could have done; to grant us what is due to us. But they didn't.

No one is willing to admit an underdog as a champion. No one wants to acknowledge the fact that we were good. Not even when the Top Most Man and all his colleagues were laughing their hearts out throughout the 6 minutes of fame in which we made our break. We knew that everyone had the time of their lives last night. We knew that the cast, crew, audience, supporters and non-supporters alike loved it. But, of course, the people who loved it and love us are those without the powers in their hands.

We know that better respect could have been given to us and to our Division. It's not about the prize because we never even knew what the prize was to begin with. It's about our pride. And I have a very proud team and for that, my heart breaks every time I try to tell them that it's okay. Because I'm not okay too.

All that aside, we raked in so many good reviews. My very honest bosses were so impressed, they found themselves gaping at my team's talent at some point when the performance was being aired. Yes, we were that good. I loved all the last minute improvisations that my team made and how they managed to do it so flawlessly as if it were all part of the plan. They did me good. They make me so proud. I almost cried last night when they performed; not only because they are my team, but because they were really, really good. Trust me. I will post a video once I get hold of one.

Congratulations to my supportive team. I have never worked with this kind of team before whose dedication is unfailing and whose support, love and cooperation towards each other promise nothing other than greater heights. I am sorry if I let you down. But trust me, in my heart you are all winners in your own right. You did me good and gave me one of the best 3 weeks in my working life for me to remember always.

March 19, 2010

hoppety hop!

Today is the day that all our hard work for the past 3 weeks will finally pay off. No, we are not sure that we will win it. We're not even sure we will be considered because around here, that's the way it works. There's a certain kind of stereotyping which slaps "Not Good Enough" on our foreheads, no matter how good we are. So, we're all in for the fun, actually. Which is good. Which is exactly how I want it to be.

I feel so good that I managed to get the boat rowing in the same direction and that everyone in it is rowing together. It feels amazing.

I'm currently on a blog hopping frenzy and this post is going to sound just as hoppy since my mind's obviously not here entirely. I just received a friendly reminder message from my lil' cousin. I think I should pay heed to her message for fear that I turn into her fiend. And I don't want that to happen because I still need her. Hehehe..

Oh God, I just remembered that I left my newly renewed road tax at home. Let's hope I don't get stopped or else, I'll have to bring the mata-mata back to my house just to prove that I have done the necessary already.

By the way, I'm kind of stuck on a particular photographer's work. His work is outstanding to say the least. I think he's got the neck for "moments". Get it? The type who will capture your photo when you're not looking yet make you look so good all the same.

I don't know if I will be level or even half as great as that.

At the rate that I am going, my photography is basically going downhill. (Sebab charger battery pon boleh terlupa bawak). Tsk.

We saw something during lunch which took our breaths away. It was so amazing that that's all we talk about right now.

My friend just commented on the state of my room. She came in and said, "OMG your room looks like...." and I finished it for her "Like a storeroom". Actually, it looks alot like a pigsty. We're sending props we didn't use yesterday down to the back of the hall to avoid traffic at the elevator later on.

I can't wait to be done with tonight! I hope my team does well!

March 18, 2010

tunggu sekejap

 
I just want to curl up in bed and sleep right now. Even exhaustion is an understatement.
Yeay, it's 30 minutes until I can switch my lights off and get a short time shut eye. I really need it before I start driving home. 

Or do I go to Ampang. 

I forgot my socks. I always forget something. 


Nyanyuk ke apa entah.

March 17, 2010

tiga puluh satu.


What do you feel when you meet someone you have not seen for almost/more than 3 months? I went ecstatic last night! Although that reunion lasted for only about 2 1/2 minutes after some persuasion for extension of time! That would be the first of my many other firsts, InsyaAllah.

After that reunion, I totally made up my mind about something. It's amazing what a 2-minute reunion can do to me. The fickle-minded me who can't seem to decide about anything; not even the type of Subway sandwich she's going to eat. But I made that decision last night and I know that it is only a phone call away to confirm my decision. Luckily, this time around, my fickle-mindedness did not cost me. What I want is still there, right there waiting. Alhamdulillah.

I have to learn to make more prompt decisions. That much I have learnt. Last night taught me that my decisions don't affect only me; they affect other people who are equally important as well. Though the sky is the limit where our love for ourselves are concerned, we have to remember that we don't live in isolation. That we still need the people around us for some kind of appoval, some kind of blessing, some kind of love.

And at times like this, I concede to the fact that it's important to know what I want.   

Because that helps me in making my decisions promptly.


Anyways, from my previous post, my friends have brought up an issue about the LIKE button. I know that this is nothing close to the one at FB because it has no icon, but those who don't feel like commenting can always give feedback by clicking on any of these:


They remain anonymous though, but that's okay. It's still nice to know that you are reading :)

March 15, 2010

tinggi langit, rendah bumi.

Hello earthlings. Hari ini hari yang sungguh malas. Hari ini, sampai office tak tidur sampai jam 8 pagi seperti biasa tapi melopong tak sudah-sudah. Rasanya, most things yang due dah siap hantar on Friday itu hari. Saya tiada lagi hutang kerja dan hari ini saya tak intend untuk pergi minta baru punya. Walaupun saya mahu kerja sebenarnya.

Letih la. I'm not too sure apa yang letihnya. Tapi hari-hari saya mahu March to end soon because I want to move on to April. Banyak sangat benda in March ni nampak gayanya sampai tak boleh nak focus my mind on the things which are important which I really want to focus on.

Yesterday we met a friend of Babah's at his house. Itu antara kawan-kawan masjid Babah whom he sees on an almost daily basis. Kiranya kalau sehari tak nampak tu akan terus call tanya "Are you okay" macam tu la. Cantik sangat rumah dia. Tapi apa yang paling best ialah cantik lagi budi bahasa dia. Walaupun dia berharta dan it's obvious that dia sangat-sangat well-off, dia sangat humble. Betul-betul tak sangka. He treated us all like his own children and siap buat-buat lawak with Adik because Adik is a little bit quiet when it comes to strangers. We instantly felt at ease.

Wife dia pun seorang yang sangat sprightly, cheerful and most importantly, humble. Although she is the wife of a well-off person, there was not a speckle of arrogance in her voice. When she speaks her mind, she gives all due respect to other people's thoughts as well. Kiranya, dia tahu that what may be biasa for her might just be too good to be true to others. And she knows that what may be the best for her might be something out of this world for others.

And their humble disposition shows in the upbringing of their children. Although I only had the opportunity to meet one of their 6 children, Z was equally nice to us like her parents were. Takda sombong atau berlagak etc. Saya suka orang macam ni. Because I have met far too many rich people who look down on you when they look at you. I may just be paranoid, tapi, I'm quite instinctive. And observant.

More often than not, I know what you see when you look at me although you don't seem to be saying that much to begin with. Saya tahu. So, it was refreshing to meet the people I met yesterday because they are indeed a rare species.

I write about this today because I just told my friends what I feel when some people look at me. Hey, I look simple and everything by choice. Kadang-kadang, my sister gets this as well. Like when we go out, people think that we can't afford this and that and that we are of a more lowly class. Iya, memang saya duduk double storey terrace sahaja. Drive sebiji Proton Saga. Tapi saya takda credit card bills. I don't spend more than my means.

I spend on my parents, and my siblings. Like I have no qualms buying Adik a DP dress though I don't have one myself. Occasionally, I spend on A. Cuma bab makan, saya memang tak berapa berkira where I can afford it. Sebab I was brought up during an era where my luxuries were numbered. I have earned the niceties I now have in life and for that, I am humbled. In some respects, I don't mind giving back.

Setiap kali ada orang yang buat perangai look down on me ni, I get annoyed sebab apa yang you all tahu about my family?  Saya mengaku, saya tak well-off, oh no. Memang itu adalah overstatement. Memang duduk TTDI orang selalu ingat orang kaya walaupun sebenarnya tak. Tapi if even I don't know how much my dad is earning, can you tell me whether or not I am good/not enough for you?

Kadang-kadang saya rasa orang lupa yang rezeki terletak di tangan Allah. Yang kita diberi apa yang kita terdaya untuk pikul saja. Mungkin kekayaan harta itu sesuatu yang terlalu berat untuk kami pikul so we are given wealth in a different form. Part itu, saya memang redha.

Mungkin sesiapa yang pernah look down on our family should rethink perangai dia orang tu. Ada perkara yang people decide to flaunt and ada people yang just don't feel the need to flaunt anything. My  family may be very simple, but we are principled. We have strong ties which are difficult to break. We love each other more than the world though we may small heart kadang-kadang and gaduh jugak bila dah tak tahan. But in the end, we love each other.

So we may repeat the same baju every time we go to the malls atau kenduri kahwin. Kita orang tak tempah this and that at this and that tailor. Tapi ada benda-benda yang we (the children in my family, esp) just don't feel like flaunting. After all, apa yang kami ada itu adalah hasil titik peluh ibu bapa and not ours for us to boast. Buat apa nak berlagak tunjuk harta yang bukan yours to begin with. Buat jadi bahan gelak orang saja.

Rezeki ada di tangan Allah (walaupun it is wrong for me to say Allah ada tangan pon because I don't know how Allah looks like). Rezeki boleh diberi dan ditarik balik pada bila-bila masa. Those who have it, have it. Tak perlu berlagak pon saya tahu. Because I have friends who are like that. There are those who don't have half or any of the things they claim they have. Well, shame on you. Selamat menconteng arang di muka sendiri. And there are those who choose to lay low. Sebab there are people who actually see beyond the size of your house and the clothes you wear and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Ingatlah. Orang yang tak menunjuk tak semestinya tak ada apa-apa. Diam-diam ubi berisi. Resmi padi, semakin berisi, semakin tunduk. Tak ke begitu? Boleh berhenti berlagak sekarang. Jelak.

March 12, 2010

guess who's back?

adik: akak, bontot akak dah besar.

akak: whatt????? akak dah gemuk eh.

adik: taklah. bontot akak dah besar.

akak: ala, rupa dia buruk eh?

adik: taklah. rupa dia okay.

akak: you sure or not?

adik. iye. now you look like a normal 25 year old.

akak: what???? o.0.

now what is that supposed to mean? selama ni tak normal eh

>.< tsk.

oh, yes. she's back in town alright. i'm anticipating "pipi akak makin comel" comments. hey, orang kuat makan kuat tidur, mesti la tembam. ish budak bertuah ni. welcome home si kecik.

March 11, 2010

notice me.

 now 

then 
(oh so young only 2 years ago when I got less sleep)

I hate looking at my laughing photos nowadays because there are lines which never used to be there before. It really doesn't help that my laugh/smile lines are so... visible, especially near the eyes. Especially that my smile is nothing less than the full-force, all out smile until even your eyes mean it smile.

I am currently trying a new regime. Sleeping early(ier) is one of them but I've tried that to no avail. It's obvious that I need more than just sleep to combat this problem. If sleep was the solution, I would have literally turned into Sleeping Beauty a long time ago.

Anyways, every time you look at me, please look at my eyes to see if there is any change. Whether good or bad. So far, there hasn't been any alergic reaction for which I am very thankful. But I think it won't help if you're a person who sort of sees me everyday because then you won't be able to tell the difference because you see me everyday. Get it?

So, anyone yang turun dari Kedah, Kelantan, Sabah, Sarawak and even Singapore; the first thing you do when you see me is? Look at my eyes and tell me, "Kakak, you look ________" (Fill in the blanks). I won't be offended even if the comment is an adverse one. Heh. Tapi cakap la baik-baik. Jangan la cakap aku macam nenek kebayan pulak. Confirm nanges.

If it works/does not work in a month's time, I will write a review about it. But tell me first if my eyes look different. Okay? 

March 10, 2010

hmmph

Why is everybody I'm calling this afternoon NOT picking up? Haish. My desk looks like a pigsty, sort of. I've eaten my express lunch and I don't know why I'm feeling a tad sickly at the moment. Must be the minyak. Tsk.

I need to settle some things pronto but right now, even multitasking is sort of an understatement. I feel like I can't do anything when there are just too many things to do. Tsk.

My mind is so preoccupied at the moment that whenever someone asks me to do something, the best answer I can give is that "I'll try". No promises okay. Boleh pulak. But I need to do that. I need this time for myself.

Every lunch hour has become conspiracy time for me and my mom. She's the only person who has returned my call so far. Chet. Someone's been busy, I see. Hehehe. Mothers can be comel and nervewrecking at the same time. Now, how is that possible again?

I've got 2 meetings today alone. I've got no mood to dig into my work. Though the 2 involves work as well, but it's just a different kind of work. My colleague whom I have to work on something will have 2 meetings tomorrow and our work is due Friday. Yeay to us and our unpredictabe lives!

I cannot wait for weekly main bola tomorrow. I need a good run and if possible a good scream of some sort to let go of all this tension! Ke adrenaline. Ke apa? I don't know. And why is it that I am sooo hungry although I have eaten rice for lunch. Express lunch la sangat kan.

Sebenarnya memang takda motif post ini. I just needed to let something go because I feel so lonely since I am alone in the office. Yeay for me.

March 09, 2010

jam satu come quick

Much as I'd like to clear this pile on my table, my hungry tummy is hampering me big time. It's growling every few seconds and there's nothing that I can do apart from think of what would make good lunch.

*****
I wonder if you've been at the end where you got the ball rolling and suddenly, you don't know what to do or what will happen. Will the ball roll or will it return to you? Either way, you feel like it's way (too much) out of your control and you don't like it. But I know it's just me overthinking + I like to dream of sad endings so that when something good happens out of it, at least I know that we did something right. Oh, yes, I can be morbid like that, you see.

*****
Remember I was talking about decorating, etc.? People always tell me to work around my favourite colours. But I've got to say that that's not  even easy. I've got 4 favourites; light pink, pastel green, off white and red. Yeah, I know the first 3 can be mixed and matched but that would make everything look like marshmallow and I don't even like marshmallow (unless it is with hot chocolate). Red is totally off altogether right, because it is at the other extreme end of colours. I'm so pening.

It doesn't help that everyone has something to say about everything. Tsk. I must learn to put my foot down somehow although I won't be paying ;p

*****
When is lunch hour cominnnnggg? I'm so hungry right now, I've come to that point where I don't know what to eat! Fai is in town and I'm off for lunch with him. It's been a while since we last talked and we sort of need this updating-each-other-session. Heee.

Tick tock tick tock. I need lunch pronto.

March 08, 2010

we're just ordinary people. we don't know which way to go.

Apa nak buat bila kita text dekat dia:

"Encik Abdul. Selamat tengah hari."

And he replies:

"Selamat sayang"  
(instead of selamat siang?)

 Pengsan? Nanges atau lompat atas bulan (jump over the moon)?

Okay, happy please sampai rasa nak nangis. :')

Pasti ada sebab kenapa saya begini lovesick bukan ;)

Nah, ambik gambar once in a blue moon tak senonoh kita orang. 
Heh, takda la bukan-bukan sangat.

March 07, 2010

choosing lights.

 
(picture googled)


I didn't know that choosing lights could be one tedious job. It's not as easy as just wanting the place to be lighted etc., it also involves the right mixing and matching so that the place does not look like an accident. And the way I see it, if we rush into matters, we're going to create an accident.

My sister once asked me how I would decorate a place if I had the chance to and I immediately answered "Comtemporary style", not really knowing what it meant or looked like. And yet, when we walk into Home Centers or Ikea or any interior design shops, I tend to subconsciously turn to more rustic/rural things. I guess contemporary is not for me after all.

I have this inexplicable obsession with English decors and all things white. Take Garden at The Curve for example. White chairs, white flowers, white tables and all else white. It's by far the most difficult to maintain, yet there is a certain class about it (white) that gives an impression that it so exclusive although it might not be.

There's another thing which I am obsessed with and they are globes. Everything my hand points to is in a shape of a globe. I don't know where I got this rationale from but it just makes a place feel alot more homey somehow. To me at least.

In the end, all I can say is, there is a reason why they created Interior Designing Courses in universities. It is to help helpless people like myself to avoid making an accident out of such a beautiful place.

Any final year Interior Designing students looking for a project to work on? Email me at haneesasalehin@yahoo.com and then maybe we could work things out, ey?

Time to go and scout for new ideas. Taa!

ish bentdner ni

In Malaysia, the weather is either hot or scorching hot. At the moment, it's scorching hot and I feel like soaking myself in my non-existent bathtub every few seconds.

I'm currently watching football with Babah and Abdul and seeing how badly Arsenal is playing because their striker is really making a big blunder out of himself. Hish. Stresssss ok tengok dia. Hmph.

Don't you think the weather is just annoyingately? I took a nap this afternoon and woke up sweating! Ish!

I'm so sleepy but the game on ESPN is much too interesting to sleep now. Yeayness 2nd goal for Arsenal! Walcott scored. Hmmm. Nice.

I should go to bed actually because I have another futsal session tomorrow. I'm seriously hoping that I wake up somehow sebab weekend ni I switched my alarm off entirely. Oh well. Nemmind. I'm going to sambung with football. Powered by Abdul's qwerty keyboard. Cam best pulak.

Ish Betdner ni annoying. Nak sambung tengok bola. Tap sleepyyyy

March 05, 2010

main bola malam-malam.

I finished work at around 7+ yesterday. Was contemplating whether or not I should brave the KL traffic. I got in the car and started driving. Still didn't know whether I was going (or not). After all, either way, I still needed to go on MEX. But instead of taking the Kuchai Lama exit, I went straight. I just knew that I HAD to go to Sports Planet though there was every possibility that I was going to be late. The traffic was surprisingly okay that I found myself gaping. And since Lynn had kindly mapped out the directions for me complete with landmarks, this second time round felt alot easier.

I reached there just in time. And boy, I had the time of my life last night! I didn't forget my shoes this time and the number of attendees was just enough to give me a good run.

But every time I go there, I know that I am not there just for the fun. I would like to believe that where games/sports are concerned, I am a born athlete. I get the game and want to play it right. All games apart from ball games apart from futsal of course. Okay that ayat was confusing.

Well anyways, thing is, I know what I am good at where futsal is concerned. And I'm not about to disclose what it is (since there might be potential "competitors" from other Divisions reading this. sorry kawan-kawan hee hee. kita kawan tapi futsal kita lawan sikit-sikit). But I'm not too sure why I don't use it to my advantage. Even Abdul remarked the same thing after he followed me to one of my futsal practices.

But last night, I was directed by Pojie (newly met friend of a friend) to take up a particular position. That position made me less tired and I found out that it suited me so well and my potential was maximised.

Last night wasn't my best game though. I only scored one goal in an hour. And I found out that goalkeeping is not for me, no sirree. Saya takut bola kena muka. Kata vain kan. Dan badan tak cukup isi nak tahan bola walaupun cubaan memakan makanan menggemukkan telah giat dijalankan sekian lama. Sopex si Slim saja the only amazing one yang boleh tahan bola dengan hebat sekali.

I now know how I can fully contribute to the game and want to try that out if I join the other team this Sunday. And I now know that in every good game, there will always be good strategists who recognise the potentials in their team. Orang begini, saya suka. Must remind myself to look for one for my own team.

It's good to know that I have not been going to practices in vain ;)

Seronok gila main bola malam-malam though my dad who called this morning tak faham apa yang best sangat. Maybe I should bring him to one of my sessions ey, heh.

March 04, 2010

stereotype

If there is one thing working life has succeeded in doing, it would be to make me more of a chauvanist/feminist than I already am. I know working life is a seriously boring subject to keep on dwelling on and it is something most people can't relate to, either because they love their job so much or they are indifferent. But I have to let it off my chest somehow right?

Why do men get away so easily? Why are they able to chair a meeting and get away not knowing anything about things and not get censured and still leave happy? Because they delegate and they really don't care. That's what they do best. So they may be a little bit more generous in terms of giving credit where it is due, but where dishing out ideas are concerned, the women are always those who always contribute.

And yet, some factions had the guts to raise the issue about discrimination where promotion and top positions in the Government are concerned. How dare. Have you seen the amount of work women have to do? I would love to see the expression on their faces when they see the statistics of "beban tugas" in my office and how much of them are handled by women. I would love for them to sit through one of our meetings and see how much of the responsibilities are handed down to the same women time and time again because as you all know, women really can't help it. They do the best they can in everything that they do because that's just who they are.

Plus, when they don't do their best, they get censured, unlike men. And I know that most men will now smirk and say, "Sapa suruh semangat sangat?". Yeah, because we are honest like that. Gaji halal itu penting.

Point is, what I can see now is that most of the implementors are women. They men give ideas and expect the women to carry out their ideas. They won't do it themselves because kerja renyah kan. Perempuan pandai la semua tu.

So, the next time you see a woman rejecting a piece of work, it just means that she's had it. You can't keep on turning to the same person again and again countless times just because you don't feel like training some other people. That's really not the women's problem. You can't nominate the same 10 people for 3 separate groups just because some other people can take leave without feeling guilty and some others go off at 4.30 p.m. sharp although a meeting is still going on.

And though it was very uncharacteristic of me, I rejected a piece of work outright and told them I had other things to do. I know that some people might think that they have other things to do as well, but some things ARE within the boundaries of your control. I decided to take control of my life today.

So be it.

March 03, 2010

bedak badan wangi.

Hello, ladies. I'm wondering, how much make up do you apply daily? I still own a two-way foundation which I never oops very seldom use and lipstick in 2 colours (kot?? ) and a very juvenile collection of all else. If my mom didn't give me one of her Dior sticks, I think I would still be with the one and only lisptick I bought because I just don't wear make up. Not even lipgloss.

(sikit macam tah hapa-hapa kan)

Why? Well, first is because I don't like the time I need to spend getting ready and second is because I need to spend an equally long time to get it off at the end of the day and if I don't do it properly, my skin will break. So, I decided, it would save me all that trouble if I didn't bother with it at all to begin with.

(Sebenarnya, adalah lebih afdal jika saya mengaku saya tak pandai je kan?) ---> this is partly the reason why too.

Anyways, I was looking through some old (meaning when I was about 21 et cetera. the ones before that are alot more horrendous) photos and this was the expression plastered on my face o.O.

Last Raya, I asked my cousin (who always seems to look all dolled up) what make up she uses and to my surprise, she told me that she only uses talcum powder. Okay, I didn't believe her because come on... talcum powder don't make you look good right?

But since we are family and our skin have the same sensitivities, I believed her and let her try out on her face for me to follow suit. Wah, menjadi tanpa menjadi gomak! Jerawat pon tak menyemak! Thereafter, I decided to follow through with the talcum powder regime and I'm happy to say that at least nampak la powdered sikit rather than muka berminyak tak ingat dunia.

But there are only so many choices of talcum powder in the market now, right and of course, most of us would run to Johnson's & Johnson's since it has been there for ages and is obviously a reputable brand. But! But! There are other brands in the market which you might never have thought of using one of them being Cuticura.

I know! It has a funny name right? But we grew up seeing my late grandmother use it. And last week, I don't know why she crossed my mind so often that I just HAD to buy it! And my existing talcum powder was just finishing too, so, it was kind of good timing actually.

My verdict? If you are used to the sweet smelling scent of J&J, you would feel like Cuticura smells a tad bit medicinal. The texture is a little bit coarser too, but hey! No shine for many long hours, baybeh! So, that works well for me. So long as the eyebags are covered, I don't look like gomak and my mom doesn't give me a long lecture about looking like "orang dah beranak 10", I'm fine.

In case you're wondering which is Cuticura, nah, here's a photo ;)

(the one in orange OBVIOUSLY!)

stress ball.

I'm going to get myself a stress ball. But no, I'm not going to squeeze it each time I get worked up about something. I'm just going to slam it against the wall so that my neighbour gets the point. Or will he not? I wish he would just shut up so that I don't have to put the volume on maximum. In that case, I don't think the rubbery stress ball will do. A basketball is better. That'll teach him a lesson.

Can someone get him out of my sight, please? The fact that my PMS is worse than normal isn't helping that much either. I'm so annoyed, I feel like storming up to his room to tell him to SHUT UP because I have taken it for almost a year now and hey, nasib baik rambut banyak is in my genes, if not, dah botak kepala aku tahu tak???

I wonder what kind of scene I will create if I lose my temper. Here, right here at the office. After all, I'm not well-known for losing it.

I'm supposed to have a futsal session with officemates today but I forgot my shoes. AGAIN. When will I learn? Must remember to be better tomorrow or else.

I've got some anger/stress management issues this month. Harap maklum. Must be the duit keluar macam air factor.

March 02, 2010

Okay I'm Married.

 I WISH.

Guys, come on you can't be serious? Obviously I was joking when I decided to accept Abdul's request to name me as his spouse. Much as I love the idea of being married to him, do you seriously think that I would be this UNEXCITED if I were really, really getting married?

I mean, would I really be able to keep my mouth this shut? Wouldn't my blog be full of stories of how and when I'd be getting married, etc.? Haha. You're all so funny. Some even went to the extent of messaging me personally to ask when I got married.

You all know how excited I get about other people's weddings, so mine wouldn't be any different, right?

Or would it? Hahahaha.

Anyways, if you can't wait to dengar pukul kompang, please call 03- 9383 1978

And if you really want great tasting food and good service, call 03-2698 8302

Semua adalah nombor sebenar, harap maklum.

Actually, on second thoughts you won't hear much of anything from me if I were really getting married ;)

March 01, 2010

a good friend.

I now believe that procrastination is one of the "best" friends one can have when working. It's not so much about being lazy etc., though there are occasional moments when you wished you could just forget about the work piling in your workstation. It's more of those times when you know you could make better use of that time, but always comfort yourself by making yourself believe that there is time. I've got time. I've got time. I've got time. So to speak.

I don't have it REALLY. I've never had this kind of attitude before. I'm amazing myself with the amount of things I let pile and fall off. I'm resolved to solve them very, very soon because I'm feeling so lost at the moment.

I have 3 reports to complete. I don't know how I'm going to get at all this done with so many other things going on around me and in my head. And why do I like to sleep so much? It's as if I'm covering for all those years of sleeping I missed out when I was in College and Uni. Never ever wake me up at 5.45 a.m. again unless you're ready to face H the Hulk.

Haih.

There are so many new faces in this place today. 3 to be exact and I don't really know them at all. I wonder when I'm going someplace new. Or will I never? I think it's time for a run. Because a good long run is what I'll be needing to make me feel better.

Get me the time, please?

Here I go again, procrastinating when I have 3 reports to do and a whole bundle of issues to look at. I'm so screwed =.="