October 30, 2009

rain rain go away.

So, the meeting went well after all. Perhaps since I had every bad scenario played and replayed in my head, I was expecting it to be alot more nervewrecking than it was just now. I wasn't expected to say much (to my relief) and basically, we are on the right track.

We had a little bit of makan-makan at Ira's (my colleague) place just now with several other officers. I have to say that her mee goreng is so super sedap! I brought roti john Warisan (7 ketul panjang). They finished 3 and I gave the rest to the girls.

It's raining very heavily out there right now. The visibility range is probably 20 metres, tops. There goes my plan of going to Subang to get myself something. Did you know that Subang (apart from the Shah Alam) is one of those places where you can find practically everything and anything under the sun, given the right place is headed to, at the right time, of course.

One more good friend getting engaged tomorrow and I'm elated! Yet, as usual, I have unusual lumps forming in my throat from disbelief.

Everyone is leaving me on the train platform while they board the shinkansen.

Oh, well.

Let's hope the rain stops. Today's a Friday, so it should be a good day, ey?

October 29, 2009

pouty spouty.

There is only one person I know who owns bibir macam Angelina Jolie, iaitu Fah, my cousin. Selain daripada mereka berdua, saya tak kenal personally anybody with bibir yang tebal begitu. Oleh itu, tak ramai orang yang berjaya jadi tak seksa (read: seksi) bila cuba ambil pouty pictures.



Personally, saya tidak ada apa masalah pon dengan orang yang suka pout. Walaupun ramai yang cakap overrated la apakabenda entah lagi. Orang tu punya bibir, biar la dia nak buat apa. If tak suka sangat tengok dia pout, pegi tengok gambar dia banyak kali lagi buat apa?

Eh, emo pulak Cik Kak. Tak pasal-pasal. Okay, berbalik kepada cerita asal.

Walaupun saya takda anything personal against orang yang suka pout bila ambik gambar, saya agak sensitive bila orang minta saya pout dalam gambar pula. Sebabnya, senang saja. I have pictures to prove and justify kenapa saya tak boleh (thus, tak suka) nak ambil gambar terpout sini terpout sana.



1. Saya nampak seperti tiada mata. Orang lain elok senyum. Tapi Mama cakap, "pout!" and suddenly, my eyes are reduced to slits. tsk.




2. Saya nampak horny. Nampak tak dalam gambar ni. Even Na said, "EEE. Kakak Neesa, you look horny." Takkan horny dengan Fah kot. Tak logik okay. Sebenarnya, saya rasa saya nampak sleepy dalam picture ni. Lebih tak logic okay. Siapa yang sleepy bila pergi IKEA?



3. I honestly think I look like The Grinch in this picture. Tengok tak cerita tu? Yang ada orang hijau benci Christmas tu? Ha, sebiji macam dia, tak rasa ke? Though dalam gambar ini takda siapa nampak saya dah, memandangkan rambut Bujang sungguh besar mengalahkan pout yang tak jadi tu.




4. Kenyit mata sambil pout tak jadi. In the end, nampak horny and sleepy... sekali lagi. Lepas tu, muscle muka macam kena flex sehabis boleh bagi menjadikan pout shot yang tak jadi langsung. Sungguh sakit hati.

Therefore, there you have it. Memang telah ada percubaan untuk menjadi pouter, tapi in the end, tengok gambar sendiri pon rasa nak lempang. Dah buat sehabis baik pon masih nampak seperti horny idiotic grinch.

So, ambil gambar narcissistic seperti ini:



dan ini...



dan merasa la perasan cantik walaupun tak sebenarnya. Kata pun perasan saja.

Sekian entry ketiga saya untuk hari ini kerana terlalu tiada mood untuk buat kerja yang berlambak. Perangai serupa orang with all the free time in the world. Okay, nak balik dah. Bye.

speller senior.

Now, how many people actually write a draft of their blog post in Word before they actually post it on Blogger?

I don't know how many people do this, but I'm one of them. At least until a month ago, that is.

I find comfort in drafting my blog post in Word before I post it here for several reasons:

  1. I hate spelling mistakes. I am embarrassed if my blog post is full of them, so I appreciate the 'auto-correct' function on Word;
  2. It's easier to budget the length of my blog post if I draft it in Word first. The maximum length of each blog post is one page in Word. Unless sensasi hangat ta tahan panas issues, of course.
  3. I'm suffering from obsessive compulsive disease. I hate to admit that to a certain extent I am a perfectionist, but actually, I basically don't like to make mistakes AT ALL. Not just spelling mistakes. My ayat must be nicely constructed. My story must make sense. Even if this is no competition, etc.
  4. Dah nama pon skema, mau buat apa.

But some time ago, my cousins came over to my place and we didn't know what to do. So, I took out this game...


... and we played.

I can't believe that my spelling skills have gotten so rusty. Na (my 14 year old cousin) kept on telling me not to pretend to not know how to spell and that I shouldn't pretend to let them (her and her younger siblings) win just because they were younger.

Truth is, I wasn't pretending at all. I just couldn't spell certain things and they aren't even complicated words. Proves that I have been taking spelling so much for granted, owing to the fact that... Microsoft Word exists(???).

So, now, I am trying to type my drafts in Blogger itself. And trust me, there are always so many spelling mistakes. And my typing has become so much slower as there is no 'auto-correct' function. But it's a good thing in the end because at least I know that I shouldn't rely on technology so much.

O.U.T  spells out.



Kalau kena masuk competition macam ni, guarantee peluh keti aku.

ps.: Hari ini hari yang malas walaupun meja dah macam tongkang pecah dan perlu pergi meeting esok sendiri tanpa boss for the first time ever. Esok tu memang peluh keti. Damn...

Pictures Googled, btw.

hard and fast rule.

I believe that when you decide to blog, you are entitled to blog about whatever you want, save in accordance with the law. Be it a narcissistic blog, or a pompous one, or an overly humble one, or a mushy one, or a serious one, or a crappy one. What you put on your blog is a decision that only you, the author, can make.

I have argued about this with my dad countless times.

He happens to think that a blog must have a theme; like your train of thoughts must never waive from the original objective of your blog; the theme you originally had in mind.

I keep telling him that whatever I decide to put on it, is what I decide to reveal to people. If people don't like what I write, the decision to stay or leave is theirs to make. I'm not forcing anyone to read.

I likelove(!!) mumbo jumbo. That makes me happy.

Haih. I really don't think that there is (or should be) any hard and fast rule for blogging, you know.

October 28, 2009

five o'clock mental block.

Do you listen to The Mix Breakfast Show on Mix.FM? I do! And most of the time, I'm always in time to tune in to "It's a Guy-Girl Thing; Bridging the Gap between Mars and Venus".




For those who don't know what it's all about, it's actually this medium/channel they provide for people having Guy-Girl related problems to vent. Okay, well, not really vent, but to simply place their queries regarding men & women, generally.


Sometimes, the solutions they provide pursuant (?!!!)( DAMN MACAM TENGAH VET KERJA, PURSUANT?? ) okay anyway... the solutions they provide don't always solve the problems spot on. But then again, what was I expecting, right? They aren't exactly Dr. Love.

But it's been 2 days in a row now that they have provided quite good, well-researched and likable solutions as answers to the queries. On Monday, a listener emailed The Breakfast show with the following problem:

(of course, this is not in verbatim)



"If there are 2 girls out on an outing together, why do men still check out the
PlainJane when it is so obvious that the other girl out with her had gone to
such great lengths to put make up on (including fake eyelashes) and the whole
jinbang"




The answer to this was that:



"If you are beautiful, you just beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. No need for all
the make up. If you apply too much make up, the impression you are giving is
that you are trying too hard. The fake eyelashes scare men"



Psst! Do they? I don't know because I don't even use compact powder, what more eyelashes that aren't mine.

It's so easy to please me, isn't it? But to me, that answer was the most honest and logical one, so I liked it. There's no point in trying too hard, even if it is what you really are. Sometimes, we forget that men do see beyond the physical attributes of a women. At least I hope so, anyway.

And the other problem was:

(again, this is not in verbatim)



"Why does my bf treat other girls better than he treats me? Why does he say all
these nice things to them and finds it hard to say all the nice things to me? Is
he cheating on me?"



The answer to this was:



"Sometimes, men find trouble expressing their feelings to those they love. They
find more comfort in their friends instead and find that it is easy to say nice
things to them. There is a probability that your man is cheating, but if he was
cheating, he would not do all the flirting so openly."



This, I can totally relate to. Because in the earlier stages of my relationship, I found that I had so much getting used to since my bf is every girl's friend. He flirts, they flirt and they basically got much more attention than I did us being in on LDR and everything. (note that everything is in the past tense)

And I liked this answer. Because it's true as well. It's (most of the time) true that men won't cheat so openly. Tak thrill la agaknya.

Well, that's all I have to say about the Guy-Girl thing, really. Probably this is because I've had to endure certain solutions which are basically baseless and crappy, so when I can finally relate to the really realistic ones, I kind of like it.

Tune in once in a while. The Breakfast Show can give you endless laughs, which is a good start to your day :)




Especially when Serena C and Pietro are on it.

quickie.

I have so many things to do right now. Today is generally a busy day for all of us in the office. We didn't say our normal "hi's good mornings what did you do last night lalalalala", we didn't even wave when we passed each other's rooms. Everyone is just generally straight-faced and busy today.

But we had a good lunch hour. Though my lunch hour was cut short by about 1/2 hour because I had to go to the bank to pay for the car. Gaji tak masuk pon, hutang tetap hutang. Tsk tsk tsk.

Sometimes, I feel like taking a full-time blogging job. Really. How bad can it get right? Life should be a ball if we're reviewing things all the time and travelling to places every other day.

But of course, on second thought... I might not want that life, after all. These are just thoughts which cross my mind, when I get so tired and unorganised because I have alot of things on my plate and wonder how come I can't manage as well as I used to.

I really shouldn't be here in this space at the moment, don't you think so. Really. But in my defence, I have been working really hard since morning, I need to treat myself to some crapping.

I'll be back with better grub soon (hopefully). I even have a list of things I want to blog about. Over kan? Hahahaha. But that will have to wait.

Okay, my 10 minutes is up. I only gave myself up 'til 3 p.m. to do this.

Now, wasn't that quick. Hmmmm...

p.s: korang ni memang malas nak participate in polls eh? kalau tak suka pon macam la aku ni tau sapa yang vote apa. tsk tsk tsk.

October 27, 2009

Such Drama.



I have school-going siblings. Okay, fine, just one school-going sister. The other one's old enough to marry. Not.

But that's not the point today. The point today is that having a sister who goes to the same school as I went to is like having Live Traffic via Feedjit every other day. There are always school stories. Always. And trust me, not all are pretty. No sirree.

Mostly, the stories revolve around the issue of teachers, exams, peers and teachers again. Teachers. Always about teachers. Yes sirree.

The new teachers are so... different (I can't put my finger on a word other than this for now) from those we had back then. The veterans like Mr.Gui and Ms. Vicky, Bawang, Cik Rahmah and even Ustzh. Habibah to name a few are so... cool (?!) and most importantly, so well-balanced that it makes me cringe thinking about the new teachers there in that school, who are now the guardians of my sister.

They are generally not bad teachers, according my sister. In class, they teach the most interesting subjects, in the most interesting of ways. But when it comes to exercising their powers as wardens, they transform into something else. It has come to a point that it's so ridiculously unreasonable, it's not even amusing how eager they are to assert their power. It has become just unreasonable. Period.

From my sister's testimony, they have gotten so emotional over everything. I don't know how many people still remember the issue of berkat, but I still remember how big of an issue it was then. Out of college, it still is a big issue, but it's not so blown out of proportion anymore. Well at least not as blown as it used to be anyway.

But right now in college, the issue of berkat of the PMR Candies are being repeated time and time again, at each meeting, whether directly or by way of painful hints.

Is there such a thing as putus berkat? I mean, how reasonable is that someone if that someone keeps on repeating putus berkat, like she is not thinking of the consequences of saying such things. I believe that as an educator, you should be better than your students. And by that, I mean, you must set an example for them and not be as emotional as they are. If a 3rd Former says something that hurts you, must you say something hurtful in return to that 15 year old?

It makes you look equally idiotic, don't you think so? Surely you are of better standards, right?

The adolescense period is the emotional period. They all say things they don't mean, and most likely don't care to think of at that point, but that period will end and they will come around. I mean, look at how most of us have bloomed. We all said and did stupid things at some point in our lives. And we still turned out to be okay.

I wonder if the teachers realise that screaming their lungs out at students won't make them come around. I wonder if they know that if they retaliate by saying mean things, people lose respect for them. I wonder if they even know how to strike a balance; between being an educator and being a friend at the same time. So that the kids will eventually see why some rules exist, etc. There is such a thing as an explanation, you know.

Amazing how this lady (sorry, I'm linking you and quoting you without permission. please don't mind?) can think of this, "secondary school students are as much children as they are adults, and that therein lay the dilemma of how to educate and parent them simultaneously" just after 10 months of working while those whom have been in the industry for so long fail to realise the underlying problem, is that they have failed to identify the very problem stated above.

Come on, surely the girls in that school ain't that bad. I mean, as compared to us, I think they are practically saints! So, I don't see the need for the teachers to be as they are now. Teachers of worst students have come up with better solutions and I'm sure those in that school can do the same as well.

Or do they need to be somewhere else before they realise that those they have now are some of the nicest they will ever have.

(though admittedly, memang ada budak college jahat sangat sekarang ni)

Oh, well, that was my 20 cents worth of thoughts, anyway. Such Drama.

for a start.

Yesterday, I started the day off on the right foot. Okay, as freaky as it sounds, I like it when I start the day off busy. It sort of sets the momentum. And that's good because that means it will be a productive day. It's even better when there's something juicy to top it up with like office gossip atau apa-apa of that effect la. Like the fact that the boss passed by when we were happily munching on mangga in the room. Sesi kantoi ketiga tahun ini.

At least this working lady's life is not so mundane, after all.

Today, I began it productively too. But it seems like my enthusiasm is beginning to wane. And it's only 10 a.m. mind you. How oh how will I survive if I keep this up? And to think that I have to attend the meeting alone this coming Friday. That thought alone sends shivers down my spine.

I am trying very hard to seek for inspiration right now. And it doesn't help that all I want is for December to come quick. Quick!

Okay, random alert. Better sign off for a while before I come back to crap more.

October 26, 2009

one night only.

I can be terribly fickle minded sometimes. On countless occasions, I have thought of making my blog public again. I feel like it is such as hassle having to log into my own account, even when I don't really want to write anything.

It's not just that, it's also the fact that sometimes, blogging doesn't feel as exciting as it used to be like when I had random strangers reading about me, and dropping their two cents worth as well.

Thing is, I had too many silent readers. It was flattering, yet irritating to hear people talk about about my life so openly in front of me, when in the blog world, they didn't say hi or drop a line or comment, when something tickled their fancy. Sometimes, it freaked me out because my blog can be quite personal, though I'm not in the habit of mentioning too many names.

So, to me, if the people I know are reading and keeping mum about the fact that they are reading this space, what more mere strangers, right? I know I myself am not a fan of dropping too many comments wherever I bloghop, but I do know that it makes the author happy when I do. So, occasionally, I make it a point to say something. Even if it's just a measly line.

But otherwise, I'm just like any other silent reader. I guess what goes around, comes around? Hmmph.

Another thing that baffles me (where coming to a decision of private-public is concerned) is that I've got this niggling feeling that the blog world is no longer like it used to be. I used to have such lackadaisical attitude about what I wrote because no one took offence in whatever nonsense I decided to talk about.

Nowadays, every non-issue becomes (or more like is made) an issue. Every blog post becomes a point of contention. Just as not having readers worries the author, having too many readers you don't know of worries you just as much, because it's quite important not to offend too hard, too often.

Even if this space is ours and we are basically entitled to write what we want save in accordance with law.

I know that I have inserted the "protected post" function, but what's the point of having a blog with too many protected posts, right? It's a function I'd like to use at my convenience, yet when used too often, defeats the whole purpose of blogging, don't you think so?

I have been blogging since 2004, and trust me, the blogging scene has evolved so much, since. Even with all kinds of other social networks available, I believe that this little space serves as a splendid sanctuary for me, especially when my mind wants needs to speak, and no one else will listen apart from this virtual paper.

I'm not sure where this blog post is going, but the thought of not having to log in to my own account is so appealing, it's sinful.

Perhaps for one night only? Let's see.

See, I told you I was going nowhere. Like that's anything new. Ahah.

October 25, 2009

menelinge.

Sejak kecil, saya suka dengar orang tua berborak. Walaupun most of the time memang tak faham pon, tapi saya tahu that they are talking about juicy gossip, tu la sebabnya cakap hush hush terlebih. Masa kecil, saya selalu pura-pura baring dekat peha Mama la, suruh dia garu la, suruh dia picit la. Ada-ada saja.

Nak dengar cerita punya pasal la katakan. Sometimes saya akan terlepas. Sometimes, mesti kena marah sebab kantoi menelinge.

Kiranya, dalam bahasa Negeri, menelinge tu eavesdropping la.

Bila dah besar sikit, though still kena marah sebab menelinge, dah tak kena halau as often as masa kecil sebab if Mama tak mengadu dekat saya, siapa lagi nak dengar dia cakap-cakap betul tak?

So, bila saya pula nak cakap juicy gossip dengan orang lain (tak semestinya keluarga), harus la saya pon macam hush hush jugak. Juicy gossip la katakan.

Dan oleh sebab saya pro dalam menelinge, saya agak-agak tahu trick orang lain yang nak try dengar juicy gossip yang saya nak cakap. I know that orang tu tengah beriya-iya nak get into the story bila tiba-tiba saya tengah cakap, dia pon sibuk nak tanya entah apa-apa kat orang. Sikit-sikit interrupt. Dah la tu benda tak berkenaan. I mean, okay, memang la tak berkenaan, kata dia pun tak tahu apa gossip saya cakap tu. And bila dah habis tanya soalan, sikit-sikit pura-pura lean back on the chair, budget macam tengah relax habis la (Ni bila saya tengah gossip dekat belakang dia la) Padahal... Hmmph.

And bila saya stop kejap gossip, boleh pulak nak kasik sidelong glance. Macam willing us to go on, go on. Nak dengar selagi boleh. OhMyGod. Boleh tak. Dah la tak berapa nak pro menelinge, ini terkantoi trang tang tang pulak. Haish.

Paling tak senonoh, yang buat perangai ini adalah Encik Abang dan bukan some Cek Mek ke apa. Memang tak padan la if lelaki nak dig into juicy gossip terlebih. Jatuh saham . Nampak sangat Kak Nam. Turn off tahu tak orang yang tengok.

If betul-betul nak menelinge, sila la belajar from the pro. Though rest assured I will not garu his kepala, or picit or whatever la. Baring dekat peha jauh sekali. Trick itu tidak lagi valid sebab dah berkurun jadi practice, sampai siapa yang guna pasti terkantoi sekarang.

Paling bagus, bila orang lain gossip, and it is so obvious orang tak nak you tahu juga, tak perlu la pura-pura dengar. Jangan dengar. You don't want to know. Okay, wait. You want to know, tapi tak perlu la okay. Cari gossip sama orang yang nak share sama you. Better still, MYOB okay.

Tsk. Lelaki sila jangan Kak Nam. Bughok benor.

Hajaba.

So I spent the entire morning with my mom in Shah Alam looking for hijab. As you all know, I don't wear it, but my mom does. And though I have thought of wearing it, I have never really seriously considered it, until I actually went to this shop.

After visiting Hajaba, I came to realise that they have made wearing the hijab such a simpler ordeal. No need for pins and brooches. No need for so many layers. Just slip it on and you're ready to go. But even the ones which requires pins and brooches are made in such a way that it's so easy to put on!

I've known about Hajaba for a while now, since one of Abdul's friends is a model for this brand. Not only is she pretty, she makes wearing the hijab look so easy and stylish as well. Visit the pretty lady *here*.

The prices range from RM 90 or so above but satisfaction is guaranteed! Trust me because my mom is quite fussy when it comes to comfort. The fact that she just bought herself 5 pieces of hijab in one morning should convince you, I think.

Anyway, this morning, the moment I woke up, I tried something on, just for fun, because I think I have finally perfected the technique as taught by Tasha.



I still look comot though. And when I have the time, I think I will go back to Hajaba to get myself one of the nice lilit-lilit pieces, since it's so convenient to wear. Hopefully, with all these visits to Muslimah apparel shops, hati saya akan terbuka. Amin.



practice makes perfect, yes?

October 24, 2009

a pair of shoes.

Despite having a good day, something did mar it. While we were having brunch at Pelita after futsal, my friend asked me whether I have any traffic summonses and I told her confidently that I have none. I do drive like a crazy madwoman sometimes, but I always believe that it's not enough to get me a ticket. True enough, after checking via SMS, I have none.

That's of course until we saw a man in white uniform roaming the area. Happens to be that today's not really a good day for my purse, after all. I got a parking ticket, and I have to pay it.



Thing is, I wouldn't really mind getting a parking ticket if it were really my fault. Today, I believe that it was my fault that I parked by the roadside where I was not supposed to. Yet, at the same time, I believe that I did that because of the lack of proper parking spaces. And even if there were any, their prices are exorbitant to begin with. And don't start talking about it being all inconvenient and stuff.

I remember that I argued with a Taman Tun policeman once on this issue, and I was let off the hook. Because I requested one simple thing from him, and that is to find me a parking spot at that particular time of the day, at that particular place. Of course, since it was rush hour, the policeman couldn't do anything because he knew I was right. People wouldn't park at illegal spots unless and until you give them a legal one. After all, it was true that I left the car for like about 3 minutes at that time to put something in the postbox.

Today though, against my feisty nature, I decided to let it go.

And my mom just made me feel all "better" by telling me that that's a pair of shoes I could have gotten myself.

Well, we can't have it all I guess.

good morning?

Hmmm. I just woke up from one of my "once in a blue moon" afternoon naps. This rarely happens, so when it does, I find that it's amazingly difficult to get up from that slumber. But now that I'm up, I better find something to keep me up. So here I am.

Finally, my course finished yesterday afternoon. This is perhaps one of the longer courses I've attended and most probably one of the more tiring ones, so I was eager for it to finally end. On a normal Friday afternoon, I would have most probably went home straight, since I don't really think that the office required us to go back to the office, since the course is technically from 19-23. It didn't state until what time.

But I was getting messages and phone calls, and my boss did mention something about me coming back to the office in the evening, so... I obliged. Not that I had any other option, of course.

I ended up staying in the office until after Maghrib. (this is not the longest so far, but hey, yesterday was Friday, remember)

So, this morning, I treated myself to a round of futsal at Futsalria, The Zon. I have not joined any futsal sessions for so long now, and I'm starting to feel the effect of all that lemang and rendang I happily ate the past month. Tsk.

Today, we shed one day's worth of fatty raya food. I feel so rejuvenated! Hopefully there will be repeats of today, even if on a another day.

And now that I feel a bit better (read: awake) I should get down to work. Now, that's rare since my brain isn't exactly productive when it comes to doing work at home. Tsk.

Off for now!

October 20, 2009

old friend, good friend?

People always tell me that old friends are the best, but are they really?

About a week ago, Adlin asked me whether she was the only one who didn't feel like going out with her old friends anymore. So I told her that she's not alone in that because it's true. Sometimes, we feel bad about it, yes we do. It's not that we've gone all bad and heartless that we don't consider how our old friends feel, no.

It's just that sometimes, our brainwaves just don't match anymore. No matter how much or how hard we try to make them. It becomes harder and harder to find things we have in common. And it becomes even tougher to be physically present together with that person when we can no longer find a common topic to talk about.

During my Honours programme, I ignored countless text messages, phone calls and emails from my old friends because I just didn't have the energy to explain to them what it was that made me so busy. Plus, I didn't need them to console me and tell me that things would be alright, because I knew that they weren't going to be. At least not then. This is just one of the examples I can think of, where old friends may not necessarily be the best people on earth.

Sometimes, it's not only old friends that we find trouble matching our brainwaves with. Sometimes, I space out when Mamita and Adlin talk about civil law and court procedure because that's not the nature of my work. And to think that I actually meet them pretty often. So imagine the extent of awkwardness if I were to talk to people whom I have not met in eons, who are doing totally and completely different things than I am, or worst still, not doing anything at all.

When it gets tougher to find a common ground; the basis on which that friendship was built on, we can't help but turn to people we feel most comfortable with just because. It's also unavoidable that we make friends with the new people we meet because somehow, they shed some light on some things in life we have never thought about, and that simply brings about a new breath of fresh air.

We move on. As sad as it is, it's true that we do. Some old friends may remain our friends, but when we can't be friends anymore, should we really push the issue?

bulldozed.

I am currently attending a course in Bangi. I know, you all must be thinking, "Pegawai Kerajaan takda kerja lain asyik pergi kursus?". But believe me, this is necessary. Because we are at that stage where we need to fully understand what we are doing. And why. And I think so far we are on the right track.

Since I've been traveling pretty often these days, I've been thinking about the distances we have all gone. On my way back from Shah Alam last weekend, it dawned on me how close Shah Alam actually is to TTDI when for the past 4 years or so I loathed the thought of having to go through tolls and whatnot to get home.

Having commuted back and forth from home to Putrajaya on a daily basis, Shah Alam is literally speaking, sekangkang kera.

Last night I was with 2 of my most favourite people in the world; Jaja and Abdul. Jaja and I had dinner at Dave's Deli while talking about... change. Abdul was too sweet semalam because he dropped by just to say bye before he went off back to Penang. He also bought me something. Nice!

And today, I am bulldozed. Because the lecture series are quite intensive and I am still trying to wrap my mind around what we have been taught today.

I need to go to bed.

October 18, 2009

minggu depan!

So the weekend is coming to an end. It's approximately 45 minutes before we say hello to tomorrow. I have made new friends and met old ones. I have eaten more than my body can stomach, but it's all good now. I have taken wonderful photos for keeps so that I will always have a window to today. I have had an emotional weekend for both good and bad reasons. But everything is good now.

In fact, I am so happy that I was treated to the superb food at California Pizza Kitchen today. The food is so scrumptious, I tell you! We helped ourselves to the spring rolls and pizza and ravioli. And suddenly, whatever it was that initially clouded us evaporated into thin air. Amazing.

I am not a big fan of Monday, as is the majority of people who jump on that bandwagon. But I am determined to make the best of next week since I will be away from the office. What more can I ask for?

I love going to classes to learn things I cannot learn at work. And I will be getting just that next week. Incredible isn't it that I will not have to go to the office at all? As in, AT ALL??? Haha.

I know that this post looks like it lacks motive and correct, clever readers. It has none.

Good night, and let's hope next week brings more good news. My PMS is really bad by the way. I have tears in my eyes like every 5 seconds. Tsk.

Okay, okay. Enough random for one night.

and again.


As witnessed first hand by Adlin and Mamita, I do turn into a 'giggly-silly looking-school girl' every time I meet him for the umpteenth time. It doesn't really matter which date it is; first or fiftieth. It so happens that each date is a new one for us.

I normally do dress up. I normally do become something other than myself. It's as if automatically I step out of my own life for a while, while I get adjusted to the fact that I can have him here all to myself. In flesh. In person.

If you haven't found love, find love.

It's an amazing feeling that fills you up that it overwhelms you. Sometimes, you are so happy it gets to that point when you can't do anything about that happiness but cry.

It's crazy, but it's also true.

I have fallen in love again. With the same person again. And again, I don't mind.

October 16, 2009

good.

Today is just one of those days when you wake up knowing that nothing much can screw it up. Or that you know that you will try to keep all the negative to a minimum. Because today is indeed a good day, Alhamdulillah, better than the ones before.

Still euphoric from good news, still so high from the adrenaline, I feel like I can conquer the world today.

Will update soon later. I hope. :)



This is not really meant to make sense. ;p

October 15, 2009

hope dangles on a string.

It's been a long wait. Sometimes, in between waiting, we dream. We like to dream; moreso lately. Sometimes, I really think people are going to leave me behind while I am busy dreaming, but dreaming is something I must do to keep me sane. It is okay for me to dream of better things in whatever form because I know that we all do it too. It reminds me that I'm okay.

I still pray everyday for the best things to be ours. For things to get better and guess what? They do become better. Slowly, but surely.

I will not let this break us into pieces. For all the hard work we have put into it, we do not deserve less than the best. In whatever form. The best is what we make ourselves deserve.

So we have to keep on praying for the dreams we cook up in our little heads every single day to keep ourselves sane. Always and forever. Whatever the outcome. We need to keep on going.

October 14, 2009

somebody.

The things that touch my heart include things which on the face of it, look mean and inhumane, yet somebody's got to do it.

On my way back home from work yesterday, there was an unusual traffic at the Taman Tun Pizza Hut entrance. Not that it's not normally jammed up but yesterday was extra. There was a big DBKL truck on the road. "Perhaps there for one of their raid sessions", I thought.

Driving past that truck, I saw that they had confiscated a particular vendor's whole shop; her table, her utensils and even the steaming hot food on it. I know because I saw them opening the big food containers and out came steam from them. She has been there for as long as I can remember. I bet she sells good food since people keep going back to her.

As I drive further, I saw the enforcement officers inspecting a motorcycle belonging to an uncle who I know sells putu mayam. For a brief moment, I saw a brief exchange of words and the next thing I know, the motorcycle along with the putu mayam was being brought to the back of the lorry to be confiscated.

I had bile in my throat, though I know that I had no reason to be overly emotional about anything.

I know that I cannot be angry at the enforcement officers. We (the society) are the ones who are always wondering what it is that they are doing; whether or not they are actually deserving of the pay they draw.

And yet, at the same time, I wish I was not there to witness such activity. I keep wondering what the lady would do without her fair share of yesterday's pay. I wonder how the uncle finally got back home, and what his family's reaction would be towards the lost of their source of income.

This is of course, on the assumption that both their activities are the main sources of their household income.

I don't think I can ever become an enforcement officer. I do not have the heart for it. And worst still, it's the type of job where you can't say anything but, "Somebody's got to do it".

And I don't want to be that somebody.

October 13, 2009

a date.



We used to go out with each other all the time, as if our lives depended on it. Now, we are so near (Adlin farther but still near) yet so far. What have we let our jobs done to us? Why is it SO between us now? And to think that Mamita said she would most probably only see me in 3 weeks time (that was last week) because she is bogged down with a COA case and of course, can't get out of the office, even if I came to her rescue. And Adlin is always on the go now. And I am stuck in front of the computer screen with better things to do, but not doing them. I keep wondering; with the pace that everyone is going at, will anyone be waiting for me at the end of this tunnel?

You girls owe me a tong yuen.

You are my dearly missed kegilaan. I could do with a dose right now.

October 12, 2009

Ah, splendid.

Luckily,my mood for work is on the rise. Being away has rejuvenated me in so many ways. Splendid.

What's more splendid? The lady leaves office for 2 days and she gets 3 new assignments on Monday morning! Ah, memang splendid.

Okay, I'm going to go do work now...

But before that, what do you all think about flattery through imitation? I never was the type to appreciate people trying to imitate me, not that there's much to imitate to begin with. But still. For example, if someone copied your blog posts, or wanted to get each piece of clothing you got or wanted your hair or wanted to use the same skin and hair products and wanted to eat at places you ate... and wanted the exact same everything, just because they want to be exactly like you.

I find that totally annoying. Some people say that we should be flattered if people imitate us, but sometimes, too much is just too much, no?

I think people shouldn't do it. It might be flattering (after many afterthoughts) but bottom line is that it's still annoying. Go get your own life, no? No need to copy, paste, imitate others. If the glove doesn't fit, it won't. Fingers can't be put on the treadmill.

Okay, I'm really going to go and do my work now. Bye.

October 11, 2009

Back for a bag




So, 4 days of living in the fab lane (as Mama puts it) has finally ended. I have finished washing my clothes, unpacking my stuff and now, all I am left with is an unkempt bed. I am also terribly hungry. There you have it; the after effect of having more meals in a day than you can take.

But the Course generally was extremely interesting this time round. We actually thought that it ended way too soon. Or perhaps that’s because the subject of Trademarks is very interesting and has never ending issues to it. And not to mention that it’s highly lucrative too.

As usual, being the most junior of them all has its pros and cons. People make most fun of you but they forgive you for asking the stupidest questions as well. Besides, everything is on the most senior during hanging out sessions too.

I wonder why the senior members of the Judiciary are friendlier and humbler than those where I work. And of course, enforcement officers are of a different league altogether. For them, in the office, you are working together, but outside, you are their friends. The fact that most of them are male makes it all the more easier.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not that it becomes easier because I am a woman, no. It’s just that I happen to think it is easier to make friends with boys because they are not as territorial, nor are they as suspicious as women are when making new friends. I should know; I’m one of the girls too.

But of course, one of the setbacks of being the young one is that people like to think you’re so easy you can be wooed into entertaining gatalness, which yours truly, by the way cannot tolerate. Even worse, some people think that we are obligated to reply messages, even when we don’t feel comfortable about it. So, what I did was to ignore these things. If I had lost my head, that person would have gotten a piece of my mind. Well, I did give him my 2 cents worth of thoughts. Or maybe 10 cents.

Well, anyway, apart from the tiring 8.30 a.m. – 10.30 p.m. course on a daily basis, we were blessed with very good rooms, great food and good organisers, and of course, very good company as well! I cannot wait for the next series in Sabah (hopefully)!

As for the title post? I really am in dire need of a new handbag. Mine’s... older now? So, does that warrant me a new one?

Anyways, pictures, just for fun.


over kan. masuk-masuk bilik ada welcome message. and to think that i didn't even pay anything for all of this. thanks to the organisers.


hmm. and i get to sprawl on this bed after a long day. and i get it all to myself!

The only setback was that we weren't given any internet connection. Oh, well. I didn't mind that much. I actually got the TV to watch me! Haha. Okay, takde kena mengena.

I should go put on my jogging shoes now.

October 08, 2009

12 hours.

These past few days have been extremely taxing. I do not know why, nor do I understand it. All I know is that the moment I laid my head down yesterday, I was totally gone. I slept for close to 12 hours and this morning, I thought that I could do with a few more hours. I’m totally recuperating from I-don’t-know-what.

Nobody’s in much of a mood to do anything at the office today. My colleagues are out and about, trying hard to get things done and so am I.

But come 11.30 a.m., I am going off for another course for another 4 days. Though courses can be a little bit tiring, it’s definitely better than coming to the office.

Anyway, the course I attended for the past 3 days was a very dry yet interesting at the same time. We learnt more about Land Law and I finally understand what I have previously worked on (those damned Paper Kuning that Ayu would know of).

The next course would be on Patents and I am so looking forward to it as well!

Okay, off I go for now. I have to get some things cleared. Toodles!

Smart reader

The polls are not yet closed, but it didn’t look like it was going to be any different than the current results. I didn’t manage to capture the poll results but this layout managed to rake in a total of 60% votes as of this morning.

How did you all know that I liked this one best? Do we have some kind of telepathic powers now. Anyways, I’m not quite done tweaking, but let’s hope that I will be satisfied with this one.

Thanks to those who participated in the polls!

Keep on coming back, will you?

October 05, 2009

King no more.

Just when I thought I should hit the sack, that's when I start to remember that I need to say a thing or two about something or two.

Last Friday, although I knew that our office would be having the Hari Raya open house, I went out for lunch with a colleague nonetheless. Perhaps that's because last year's Hari Raya experience was quite a disappointment. Boy, we were wrong about this year's open house alright.

Anyway, back to our lunch hour.

Since we knew that we were going to join the Office Raya Do later that afternoon, we were wary that we would only be able to eat at around 3 p.m. We weren't exactly elated about the idea of starving ourselves for 3 hours. But at the same time, we didn't want to stuff ourselves either. So we decided on getting a bite at Sushi King.

I'm a big fan of the Soft Shell Crab Temaki. Seriously, this is one of the must-order items when I go there. Thing is, I don't think I will be going back there ever. Not just the one in Alamanda no, but Sushi King generally.

As we arrived and took our seats, the waitress handed us our menus. Since we couldn't really decide on what to eat yet (apart from the must have, which I did not order yet at that point), we asked for green tea first.

Then, the food came round via the revolving belt and my colleague grabbed one of her favourites; unagi. I was just about to take one of the deep fried food off the belt when our drinks arrived.

Then, came the big shock of our lives.

The waitress informed us that 80% of the food at Sushi King is not halal, including the unagi which was sitting there in front of us, tempting us to take a bite. We were informed that most of the food uses cooking wine and that even the yummy soyu has sake in it.

I was dumbstruck for a while. Okay, no. I was dumbstruck. Period. For a long time. As we sipped our tea, we saw more Malays strolling in, taking their seats, unsuspecting what they were about to put into their systems.

We sat for a while more and observed the rest of the (Malay) patrons there. It looked like the waitress did not warn them, but she actually did. Because when she passed by our table, we overheard her telling her boss that she had done so, but they ignored her warnings.

We picked up our bags and went to the counter. Of course we didn't have to pay anything since green tea is free flow and on the house.

The waitress thanked US for listening.

We really got the shock of our lives. Now that I have passed this on, be wary about what you eat.

My parents are not very adventurous eaters and I think sometimes, they get mocked by (even)their family for being so boring. Well, I used to think the same as well.

But then, the older I get, the more I am able to see reason. I get it why they are so healthy and why WE are so healthy, Alhamdulillah. Being believers in self-healing, my parents always turn back to nature. And for them, it is only natural that the body succumbs to illnesses and the like when we consume foodstuff where the status of it is ambiguous.

So, now that I have managed to pass this on, it is up to you to pay heed or not. At least I have done my part, InsyaAllah. I am deathly afraid of what becomes my darah daging. If it doesn't affect us now, perhaps it would affect our generations to come, right?

So, let's be more cautious about what we put into our mouths. I'm probably going to write in to a few other restaurants, just to check their status.

If most of my favourites cannot be eaten, I guess I'll just have to make do with whatever I can, right? After all, it's not that I can't cook. Moreso now ;)

full weekend.

I have still not recovered from last weekend's fatigue. It has been a roller coaster ride, but a good one at that. I have been in and out of houses and for the most part, out of mine. It has been tiring, but all good. For some reason, I am not in the mood to upload pictures. Perhaps that's because I just discovered that 5 folders of pictures from Theodore has miraculously disappeared from my HD and they are not in my computer drives either. I am hopeful that they are still somewhere in my office computer and praying hard that I am not hoping in vain.

This entire week, I will be away from the office. This is so liberating considering how tiresome work is becoming and how much "on the verge of __________(whatever)" that I am about to do. I cannot wait for the something something that they are currently working on, which involves my SKT Khas. Allah please, I need to leave this place I am at because I do not know what I am doing here anymore. Grant me the strength to do this and to wake up everyday to walk into that obligation of mine.

I will update proper once in a better mood. I think I better go catch up on some sleep for now. Don't forget to vote! 2 days left until polls are closed!

October 04, 2009

happy drooling.

I’ll be honest. I am extremely exhausted. I have been going on and on non-stop since morning. Yet, here I am. I am wide awake like an owl. And I really wish I could sleep.

Did you know that I have not baked brownies for like the LONGEST time? Really. I can’t even remember the last time I did. And to be very honest, I was afraid that it would come to a complete hiatus.

Good thing Mami decided to order some from me this weekend. Yes, suddenly, I bake brownies upon order. I normally don’t sell these babies because I can’t seem to decide on a good price. Plus, I know that most people buy because of looks, more than anything, considering that it’s going to be put on the table for guests and all.

But, I have to tell you again that looks truly are deceiving. They are. My brownies look like the sloppiest kuih on planet earth, but they could also be one of the yummiest. Many people can testify and please believe in their testimonies. Where food is concerned, my friends are by far some of the most discerning.




First, get the ingredients ready. And these are amongst the things I put into it. I know that alot of people have been asking for the recipe from me, but it’s sort of like a family trade secret (though we don’t sell any)





When all the baking is being done, please do not waste extras. Eat straight from the bowl; you have no idea how satisfying this can be (especially so when there is no one to share it with you). Ingat lah, membazir amalam syaitan. Ha ha ha.


When the baking is done, these babies are what that gooey paste I was busy gobbling has become. I never used to sell them for anything, but when people are willing to pay (and I have the time to entertain orders), I make them for you.

I’ve decided on a reasonable price and I think you’d agree how reasonable they are.

The Big Batch goes for RM 35.00 per bar (it is 8’ by 8’. I do not sell according to weight) and the Mini Browny goes for RM 2.00 per pop.

Super Cheap right?


I know they don’t look nice, but looks can be deceiving.

Well, okay, I’ll change the cupcake cups to make them more alluring okay?

Orders are normally accepted if they are received 1 week in advance. The customer must be willing to come and pick up the yummy grub (it’s so cheap because I don’t deliver. Hee hee)

Best pick up time would definitely be Sunday since I need Friday/ Saturday to bake.

Of course, I cannot promise you that it would be available as and when. But I’ll try my best if I can. (wow that rhymes!)

Anyways, happy drooling people! Have fun with Honey Brownies!

October 03, 2009

help.




hey there everyone! i need a little bit of help.

okay, i need a huge chunk of help.

as you can see, i am a big fan of changing my blog background/ layout and whathaveyou.
i love doing it because i want to love coming back here to write things.

i don't have that many readers but i want you all to be happy as well. these are some of the options which i love most and pretty please vote for which template makes you happiest?

i may not necessarily oblige, but i need to know which ones you like.
i like them all, but i need some things to be done to them for me to be satisfied.

so, if you are a better tweaker than i am, perhaps you could help me.

point is, help me out in choosing the best layout first can?
can or not?



option 1 ( spring flowers)

option 2 (b & w scribbles)

option 3 (kaladeiscope)



take your pick! please? poll is on the sidebar. topmost. which is your pujaan hati?

thanks loveyou bye!

October 02, 2009

spitey

I have an assignment which I have to do with a senior colleague of mine. It's not just any senior; it's someone who holds grudges, doesn't help out and lets you sink when she could have thrown some floats in your direction. Even when such drowning wasn't really caused by anyone. She basically doesn't stand up for anyone but herself, really.

I do not like spiteful people. I really don't. I don't get along with them well; personally or professionally. Because with people like these, it's always personal. Even when it's professional.

Perhaps this explains my incessant determination in NOT getting the job well done. I will never be appreciated for whatever I have done, trust me. Around here, the women are viciously vicious; they're venomous. Aum.

But this is the wrong way to do it, isn't it? I should prove them wrong. I should prove HER wrong. But I have no drive to do it.

I must get the drive to do it. Somehow.

Open house



Today, my office held the Hari Raya open house. It is about the smartest thing they’ve done so far on a Friday, seeing how unfocused everyone can get.

I went down just now to grab some grub, and the food was actually great! That’s as compared to last year, that is.

I heard that it used to be a lot more extravagant that this, but who am I to complain.

We just received an email about ‘penyalahgunaan social networks online for tujuan peribadi.’



Thing is, if there’s nothing better to do, why would I NOT want to go online for social networking?

Anyways, I should really watch my back, just in case they are monitoring our computers.

Off to Seremban today for Adik's solat hajat.

I just got some work, which makes my stomach churn.

Tsk. Takut :(

October 01, 2009

lost my footing.

I’m amazed by what a few more minutes of sleep can do to me and my mood, generally. Thank God for the snooze button on my handphone. Since yesterday was the last day I had to clock in at 7.30 a.m., today I am a lot more relaxed. No need to rush to the office like a madwoman just so I get there on time.

Time flies, don’t you think so? Suddenly Thursday’s here again. Last Thursday we had the time of our lives gallivanting in the office since no one was around. Now that everyone’s back, there’s not much to look forward to anymore. Not even the challenging assignment I was given a few days back.

Everyday, I think I am losing my footing more and more where I work; it’s scary. It used to be so much easier when we were studying; now, life’s just a mess, generally. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that things will get better eventually, better seems like such a faraway word, you know?

The worst thing about losing faith in your job is that you start to berkira about just about everything and you can’t help but start not liking people for unknown and unreasonable reasons, which is actually terribly unhealthy.

I shouldn’t get so worked up about all this, I know. And I should know better than starting the day off like this. Let’s hope today will get better. Amin.

After all, the weekend is just one day away.

Oh, come quick and end slowly. Please?