May 31, 2009

i wouldn't mind going to bed.

I’m home and exhausted. The entire weekend I was in Kuantan for my cousin’s wedding. The first in the family to tie the knot. So you can imagine the huha we all made about it. It was a lovely wedding! Simple, but lovely nonetheless. And of course, since we were all there (and we haven’t met for like gazillion of years), the wedding felt all the more special. With endless hugs and laughter and food, what more could I ask for?

But I am exhausted. I really am. I slept the entire way from Temerloh back home, reached home and slept again and now, I am just waiting to perform Isyak and then, slumberland, here I come.


Which means that I am so dead because I have to submit something on Tuesday but I haven’t written a single thing.


Gah. Such a mood spoiler.

May 29, 2009

we're watching you.




I don’t care what other people might want to say. It doesn’t matter where all this is coming from, whether the praise is genuine or not. I really don’t mind. I’m glad someone is watching. It doesn’t matter what happened behind closed doors.

Pictures courtesy of K.Ati.

And now, I cannot wait for 5 p.m. to come.

Currypuff wait for me, okeh.

the competitor.

I’m convinced that the reason why I feel this way is because of my over competitiveness. It’s something I’m not sorry for, but it’s not really something I’m proud of entirely either. Mostly, it’s something I really cannot help. I have been conditioned to take pride in the work I do, and so I do it well, no matter how petty the work is.

So, when someone else gets the benefit of the doubt and credit for the things he does well, it gets on my nerves because I know that I can do better as well, or maybe even better than that person. It’s just that I’m bogged down with other things, which are work related, just not substantially.

This upsets me.

I shouldn’t be putting the blame on someone else. And maybe I should be trying harder. But then, I am trying my hardest. My very hardest.

I really need my therapy.

My Kesayangans, my cousins and of course, si Currypuff.

Nasib baik dapat sedikit Currypuff this weekend.

I still don’t have pictures. I left Theodore at home because I have too many things to do.

May 28, 2009

scratch.

Having slept so early last night, I am one happy, alert beaver today. I left home earlier than normal in hopes of securing myself a good parking spot. But the price I had to pay for that today, ... 3 6 5 got his first scratch! Ah! It’s not that bad, not that deep, but it’s there, and my dad is definitely going to notice. I mean, fine, it’s not his car or anything, but he’ll notice. Cis.

I’m in dire need of my early morning substance. But then, all water filters in the office are dry. None of them have any water left and I’m here wondering how I’m even going to get through to 10 a.m.

I still haven’t gotten my hair trimmed. Or developed my passport photo. Or eaten any Famous Amos like I thought I would. Maybe today.

Oh, and at 7.35 a.m., I received an agreement for me to vet to be discussed tomorrow. There goes my Friday.

Macam mana nak dating ni?

Later alligator. Little miss smiley has got to buckle down and get to work.

I still haven’t uploaded pictures of Pangkor from Theodore. Too many of them and too little of me in them.

May 27, 2009

balas dendam terhadap penat.

It’s 12 p.m. I’ve been doing a good job of not falling asleep although I’m exhausted. Well, to be very honest, I’m not physically exhausted although the ride home was tad bumpy. I’m mentally tired. I’m sure at some point, I’ll tell you what transpired, but maybe I’ll have to wait until I’m less bothered about it before I can write about it without writing a storybook.

Right now, I just want to go for lunch. Well, actually, I think I don’t need lunch that badly. More than anything, I need to trim my unkempt hair, develop my passport photo and eat some Famous Amos. I also need to give Theodore some tender loving care (read: a friend) although I don’t quite have the budget (yet).

Hmmp.

Yesterday, when I got home, my mom was shocked. Yesterday was full of “kena halau pulau” stories. Yes, we were sent back home a day earlier from Pangkor, for various reasons, one of them being; we were acting unperturbed although we were all constantly fired for doing the right things right. We were constantly fired for having fun while we did things which we were not responsible for. We were fired for getting papercuts while we did our job well.

There are many types of people in this world. I’ve come across a few of the many types and now, I consider myself lucky to have met the spiteful type. It’s not easy, dealing with them because they refuse to let things go no matter how settled everything already is. They will keep on bringing issues up when there are no issues and the matter will go on and on and on non-stop. It will not stop. Not now, not ever.

There are also people who want to put a part of themselves in everything. Granted, that’s what we all want. We want to leave a mark, a trail where we walk. But there are, of course, better ways and means to do these things. So that people remember you more. So that people remember you in a better light. But no. there are people who think that whatever they do is the right way, although clearly, it’s not.

The best thing to do when there are obnoxiously insensitive spiteful people around us is to defy them. But then again, there are many ways in which people can defy others. And one of them is by acting unperturbed. Which is exactly what got to them until steam was coming out of their ears.

I’m disturbed by the fact that I didn’t get a day off today. I’m disturbed that I didn’t get enough beach loving. But I’m satisfied. Satisfied that for now, they know the power of the masses.

They should learn that when they want a good team, the team must be a smart one and a smart one will say what they don’t like and move on with their lives, unperturbed by what you think of them.

Lesson learnt.

Ah. I shouldn't have written this. It feels like I’m writing a storybook. Remind me to stop being disturbed about insignificant people. They don’t deserve space in here.

can't beat what home can make you feel.

Finally, I am back in town. I must admit that I miss waking up to the sound of waves crashing against the beach. And of course, not having to drive 44 kilometers to work is a plus point as well. I wouldn’t say that everything went well without any hiccups whatsoever. But I have to say that my event, which was the dinner, got endless congratulations and praise. Enough proof of what a great job a great team can be. Of course, there were misunderstandings along the way. Of course, people pulled faces when they were tired and exhausted, but we moved on and did everything to the best of our ability. It suffices that we know how good we are no matter how much other people fail to recognise our strengths.

I’ve got 10 minutes to go before office hours start officially. Though I’d love to write more, throngs of files are flooding my cubicle, and I really do need to de-clutter before I begin.

It’s becoming too easy to find me.

Just type my full name and there I am.

So, this decision is final and I am limiting this blog to whomever I feel like I want to.