October 31, 2007

criminal

It’s my third paper tomorrow. Advanced Criminal Procedure. And because I like this subject and also the lecturer, I don’t feel as stressed out as I did for my Remedies. Though my stress for Remedies had nothing to do with the like or dislike of the subject or the lecturer at all.

My Remedies paper was nothing short of disappointing. So, I guess I shall not elaborate because it’s been a week anyways since I last sat for it. I’m just hoping that this particular paper would be able to console my disappointment towards whatever that has passed.

On the brighter side of things, Abdul has formally graduated, Alhamdulillah. And with flying colours, too! I’m so proud to have such a smart boyfriend. Thhihih. I’m glad that his final exam results have brought joy to him. I’m just hoping that mine would do the same for me.

It’s discouraging to see my ongoing assessment marks. It doesn’t help that the rest of the entire world is doing pretty well, and I find myself feeling like someone stupid, doing stupid. That’s probably why I’m so discouraged to work as a lawyer, or do anything legally related, for the matter.

I don’t know. I just want to get over and done with all this. I’d probably chart my course later, which is so unlike me. But for now, that puts my mind at ease. Back to reading. Taa!

October 25, 2007

yoyo

It’s LAW 549 tomorrow. That means it is Remedies tomorrow. And right now, I am not acting like I should and I feel panic rising. I understand what I’m reading, I just have trouble memorising cases. Actually, tomorrow’s paper covers 3 subjects in one. So, can you blame my agitation? And from what I heard, it’s freaking hard to score. And I believe that. Yet, here I am attempting to not be so stressed out.

I feel bloated. I don’t know why. I eat only one meal per day now because I’m bored of Shah Alam food. Nothing appeals to me anymore. Probably we’ve just had too many take outs this past 2 months. And final exams are not helping either. As far as I can remember, when we said our goodbyes before raya, we were all acting like it was the end. How deceitful. We’ve got 5 final papers, though they say Evidence is not examinable. To me it is at least.

And here I sit in Baiduri watching Mami turn into Siti Faizah, while I wait for my mind to clear so that I can finally sit down properly and get down to business.

Perhaps I should change my port. Pegi McD lah camni. Or somewhere else. I don’t know. I just want to do well tomorrow. And do well generally in all papers.

Oh, I’m just so freaking lost.

I feel like a yoyo.

October 18, 2007

burned out

Unlike the way I should be, I am totally and completely the opposite. I have a final test on Monday and I have yet to start on anything. Have I been enjoying Raya too much? Or am I entitled to enjoy Raya and that the rest of the batch is just like me? I doubt the latter part.

I just have to get started then, I’d probably be ok. I really, really want to get started but I feel so tired of books. I feel so tired of all this formal education. I feel so tired all I want to do is to sleep. And believe me when I say I am obsessed with the topic of sleep because this Raya, that has been all I have been doing; sleep.

I really have to go. I feel panic rising. I feel every little thing a person is not supposed to feel at this point in time. I have burnt out so bad now that I don’t really feel like reading anything. I am tired, but I’m trying not to be. I just want all this to end.

October 09, 2007

i love

It’s been too long since we had a decent meal together. The last I think was a quick buka puasa together, which we gobbled down quickly because we had to rush back to the office to finish off our SA. So, tonight really was great. Great company, great food, great laughs, great conversation. I just love these girls. They heal my bad days because, no matter how many new friends I make, I still run back to them for everything.

The food at Marche was great. Too bad I couldn’t eat as much as I wanted to. Actually I regret not eating more because right now, I’m kind of hungry. And now that I think of it, I really want those doughnuts. Probably I should take a drive there tomorrow so that I can have them for buka.

Btw, I’m at home right now and I’m kind of lonely. No one is at home other than my parents, K.Maya and the cats. But I’ve been away from home for so long now, that the cats no longer recognise me. But whatever it is, I’m just going to enjoy being the only child until Thursday comes.

And I really should sleep because I’ve got to get my baking done tomorrow.
Pictures just for fun. Everyone looks so happy. I like.



camwhoring in the lift
jaizah dan mamita


jaizahku
what would life be without them?
jaizah enjoying her coffee ( which i had more than 2 sips of =P )

miss batul

October 08, 2007

rebellion

I’ve been up since 5. Okay, no, I’ve been up since 2 but only for a while because then I slept again until 5. I was so hungry I gobbled a bowlful of cereal, minus the milk. Had my second dose of Nescafe and I’ve been up since then. Convey test in approximately 4 hours and I can’t say for sure whether or not I am prepared. All I know is that I can’t wait to get over and done with it. And the Civil File; well, I’m sorry, but this is definitely the wrong time to give us any file to complete, so please excuse the quality of work; it won’t be good, trust me.

I don’t know where all this rebellion is coming from. It’s as if I’ve just lost interest in everything and the only thing on my mind right now is my home and also Raya cookies. That’s next on my to-do list.

I wish I had an oven here, and then I can bake my brownies and cakes; the only thing I seem to love.

I need a holiday. And I want to go on a holiday somewhere. And I want to do so, so badly that I’m willing to crush my piggy bank just so I can get away.

I haven’t had much of a life, I’ll have to admit. And I’m bound to not have any for a while until I finish off my Honours.

I don’t know what I want to do after this. It seems like I’m discouraged. Can I do something not legal-related, please? And can I not work with too many Malays please? No offence, but I have reasons of my own.

I can’t wait for Jessup Moots. Who knows, I might moot? Haha. Kesian Firm.

Never mind whatever. I should resume my reading. I really need to. Though the only thing on my mind right now are Cornflakes Cookies. Yum.

October 07, 2007

obsessed


I’m currently obsessed with the topic of sleep. I don’t know why. I guess this is only normal considering the amount of DEPRIVATION I’ve had to endure this past semester. And I’m truly grateful that these last few days I have before Raya are happy days, as my firm mates seem to be in a more relaxed and cooperative mood. I’m glad issues are resolved.

CTA was great today. I never thought I was better at Cross Examination than at EIC. I always thought I’d do better with scripted questions. Apparently, I’m not at all bad at cross examining and also re-examining. And my team got to be Defence for the Mock Trial. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or not so happy. I guess I’m relieved I don’t have to think of the IPs and reports and stuff like that. The most I have to think of are the 2 witnesses I need to call for the Defence case. And not to forget that last 15 hours after the Prosecution’s case, where we’ll need to prepare the Defence’s submission. I guess I don’t really like the sound of no sleep, that’s all.

Other than that, I can’t wait for this week to end. I’ve got 2 more things to submit and off to Raya I am. I still don’t have to mood to complete my Pleadings. It doesn’t give me the kind of high Criminal Trial gives me. And I have to read up my Convey, of course.

So, my aim tonight; no games, no movies, and no dilly dally. I really need to get to work. On my Pleadings, especially. And for the record, she really did surprise me a little today. Though I am not thoroughly impressed, something definitely is better than nothing at all.

October 06, 2007

we want more

Yesterday was superb. I cannot remember having as much fun as I did last night. The company was superb; a bunch of nutty lawyers-to-be who were all looking for an avenue to release their stress. Really, it was a very nice picnic indeed. Although I did end up sweating like a pig, while eating like one too, I really did enjoy myself. I can’t help but smile at the silliness of the pictures we took last night. Some are here for you to view.

baru sampai nak makan

can't remember what we were laughing at


we love, love outings like this! yippee!

apa aku buat ni.

2 jejaka dan 4 wanita jelita kelas kami

berpeluh dan gembira kekenyangan

picture by Lee, before his battery went kapoot

anak siapa ni wei? hihihih


And to make things better, Monday is the last day of school. Yippee! Viva today was a great success. I couldn’t answer a few questions but I was told that our work was great work bar a few silly mistakes which were unavoidable. I can’t seem to get into the mood to complete my pleadings though I’d really like to do so very soon so that I can concentrate on reading for my Convey test on Monday.

I’ll just have to focus on my CTA first for now. let’s hope “Tracy Brittas” a.k.a. someone infamous for something we all seem to know , does not make a big fool out of herself and out of us all tomorrow.

Toodles for now. I wanna watch Runway Malaysia. I want more outings like this. I love.


our grand finale

October 05, 2007

so weird

I got half the day off today. And honestly, it feels good and not so good at the same time. I’m so, so used to a busy, hectic schedule that all this free time worries me. Or am I just being ungrateful? Well, anyhow, I got some sleep this afternoon. It’s been so long since I last got an afternoon nap, as in a real, proper one, where I didn’t have to sleep at my table in the office.
I’ve actually got loads of stuff to settle, despite having so much “free” time la sangat. There are still assignments to submit next week before we all go for our Raya holidays and I’m currently working on them.
Viva tomorrow and insya Allah I’ll be able to make up for all the lost marks in our submission.
Next up is my CTA examination of witnesses, which I think I’ve done enough for.
Pleadings to submit on Monday. Plus a test on the same day. Convey scares me, and for some unfathomable reason and I think a viva would serve me better than a test.
I am currently working on my anger as well, which is a good thing, I must say.
Picnic for buka today, and I am so, so excited.
I love seeing people getting married, it seems like it’s the absolute best thing to do. Atau saya dah gatal?
What on planet earth am I babbling about?
I really don’t know.
I miss Abdul. It’s been 30 months and 2 days. We are sooo oold. Haih..
I have tonnes of pictures to upload, but I don’t seem to have the patience. Nanti la yer.
For now, I want to think of what to treat my classmates to for buka.
Tomorrow, I’ll be able to fast again. Alhamdulillah, I will be able to enjoy and fully appreciate the last 10 days of puasa.
Okay. I’m off for now. Need to get Fai to pick me up to go to pasar malam in his red Ferrari… type, type, type and SMS… (ouh, he just told me to meet him there. Cheh. Malas nak drive ni… hmm)
Toodles everyone. It feels so weird to be free.

October 03, 2007

sikit saja lagi

I’m so tired, I don’t think any amount of sleep would be able to compensate the amount of sleep I’ve lost so far, and I don’t think any amount of sleep would be sufficient to constitute “recuperation”.

It’s the final week of Honours I and only Allah knows what I’ve been through. I have to admit that some parts of it were actually quite fun but towards the end, the tensions started to rise, on my part at least and especially on my part, and there was this point in time when I simply hated being part of this programme.

But then, most things are resolved already, and I hope that things get better eventually, after Raya ends. I can’t wait for Raya to come. I know for a fact that I might not be able to enjoy as much as I would like to since my exams would be right after Raya, and even after my Finals end, I still have the Mock Trial to think of. So, basically, although classes have basically ended already, there are still some things that need to be thought of before the semester really, really ends.

Actually, I’ve nothing much to write about. I probably had a lot of anger contained inside of me the past week, but I’m learning to take it by the horns and not let it consume me. I was getting thinner by the day due to immense stress and currently, I am on a mission to gain some weight before I go back for Raya.

And the workload; well, it’s still shite, as usual. I don’t think it will EVER end. Thank God I’ve learnt not to say, “the worst is over” because one work piles on top of the other after one submission is submitted. So, basically, stop wondering when in freaking hell I’m going to be free. Because I guess I won’t really ever be free. Except perhaps during my holidays.

That’s all for now. I have a bunch of Pleadings to complete and I am forbidden from sleeping because I definitely will not be able to wake up tomorrow morning, just like every other morning I have failed to resist the comfort of my bed.

p.s.: I’m obviously bored. I think it shows from my entry how bored I am and what a boring person I have now become. … haih… mengenang nasib setiap hari….